Nation Wishes God Would Send Someone Who Could Unify People Across Races, Classes, Genders, Tribes, Tongues babylonbee.com/news/nation-wishes-god-would-send-someone-who-could-unify-people-across-all-races-classes-genders-tribes-tongues

Nation Wishes God Would Send Someone Who Could Unify People Across Races, Classes, Genders, Tribes, Tongues

U.S.—The nation wished this week that God would send someone who could unify people across all races, classes, genders, tribes, and tongues. People from all across the country thought it would be great if there were some sort of perfect God-Man who could bear all personal sin and racial enmity in Himself in a kind of sacrificial act that would culmi … | The Babylon Bee

Genius Marketing: Denny's New Anti-Fascist Omelette Draws Huge Lines babylonbee.com/news/genius-marketing-dennys-new-anti-fascist-omelette-draws-huge-lines

Genius Marketing: Denny's New Anti-Fascist Omelette Draws Huge Lines

U.S.—Denny's, the popular American breakfast diner franchise, has come up with a brilliant marketing strategy that has people lining up for miles: the Anti-Fascist Omelette. "Buy it now! (Unless You Support Fascism)" the campaign reads. "When we realized that you could literally call anything anti-fascist and people would jus … | The Babylon Bee

Don't miss tomorrow's Babylon Bee podcast featuring @LilaGraceRose WATCH babylonbee.com/podcast pic.twitter.com/RC5xzxnDcR

The Babylon Bee | Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire. | The Babylon Bee

Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters buff.ly/2u0bdp7

Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters

LOS ANGELES, CA—Religious people in Southern California have found a bold, creative solution for in-person meetings in spite of the continuing lockdown. This past weekend, several area churches attended church services disguised as righteously indignant rioters."We already have the righteous indignation thing down," said one church elder. " … | The Babylon Bee

Boring Worship Song Immediately Improved By Funky Slap Bass Line buff.ly/3ggvvc9

Boring Worship Song Immediately Improved By Funky Slap Bass Line

RENTON, WA—According to multiple people attending LifeVictory Community Church this past Sunday, a boring, mellow, repetitive worship song was immediately improved by bassist Kyle "Soul Train" Mulholland's funky slap bass line.The song, "This Is Amazing Grace," was starting to drone on and on until Mulholland rescued the arrangeme … | The Babylon Bee

Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses buff.ly/2boepzf

Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a powerful display of their care for love and justice, protesters in Minneapolis burned the word "LOVE" into the city, arranging the inspiring message with homes and businesses set ablaze by their riots.Heartfelt and moving."We just really wanted to show how much we care about love and social justice by burning this comm … | The Babylon Bee

House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It A Hate Crime To Eat At Chick-Fil-A buff.ly/2zinn8c

House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It A Hate Crime To Eat At Chick-Fil-A

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Tuesday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.The CFAHATE Act Of 2018 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to d … | The Babylon Bee

Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them buff.ly/3chzptu

Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them

BILLUND, DENMARK—Lego has just introduced new and improved interlocking plastic bricks that will instantly kill you when you step on them, sources at the company’s headquarters confirmed Thursday.The sharper edges in the new design will just immediately put you out of your misery, so you don’t have to roll around on the ground in excruciating … | The Babylon Bee

@The_Kyle_Mann & @AXECOP discuss the story of the week: How Joe Biden thinks he tell women whether or not they are women. FULL youtu.be/uxh5ef0sgtg pic.twitter.com/r9F9BTkcGf

@The_Kyle_Mann & @AXECOP discuss @TheBabylonBee's Worship Song Generator™ and helps you whip up a fresh tune for Sunday morning. FULL youtu.be/yqqlpprfwpq pic.twitter.com/bn1mZVxGh8