Archaeologists Discover Pair Of Crocs Worn By Judas Iscariot babylonbee.com/news/archaeologists-discover-pair-of-crocs-worn-by-judas-iscariot

Archaeologists Discover Pair Of Crocs Worn By Judas Iscariot

ISRAEL - In a stunning find, archaeologists discovered the pair of Crocs worn by notorious disciple-turned-traitor Judas Iscariot.The dig site contained many interesting relics left over from Jesus's disciples and ministry, but the most important find turned out to be the pair of black Crocs.'In hindsight, the other disciples really should have se ... | The Babylon Bee

Elon Musk Unveils Plan To Put A Meme On The Moon By 2022 babylonbee.com/news/elon-musk-launches-ambitious-mission-to-put-a-meme-on-the-moon

Elon Musk Unveils Plan To Put A Meme On The Moon By 2022

AUSTIN, TX - With the world celebrating Tesla's move to Texas, an emboldened Elon Musk has announced his most ambitious and audacious project yet: putting the first meme on the moon.'Everything I've built in my life has led me to this point,' said Musk. 'Yeah, I love space travel and green energy and cool cars and flamethro ... | The Babylon Bee

Texas Governor Announces Cowboy Hat Mandate babylonbee.com/news/texas-governor-announces-cowboy-hat-mandate

Texas Governor Announces Cowboy Hat Mandate

AUSTIN, TX - Texas Governor Greg Abbott was heard yelling, 'Yee-haw!' while firing two revolvers in the air -- the traditional way to announce a new Texas law. This law is a new public safety mandate requiring all citizens to wear a cowboy hat when leaving their homes.'This bill has been a long time coming,' said Abbott. &ldquo ... | The Babylon Bee

Amazing New Plant-Based Meat Tastes Like Real Meat To People Who Have Obviously Never Eaten Meat babylonbee.com/news/amazing-vegetarian-product-tastes-like-meat-to-people-who-have-obviously-never-eaten-meat

Amazing New Plant-Based Meat Tastes Like Real Meat To People Who Have Obviously Never Eaten Meat

EL SEGUNDO, CA - Meatless meat was once scoffed at by the public, ridiculed for its flavorlessness and complete lack of similarity to actual meat. But now there is a new product on the market from the innovators at High Horse Inc., a plant-based meat manufacturer with a new meat alternative that tastes exactly like real meat to people who have obviously ne ... | The Babylon Bee

Instead Of Coal, Santa To Give Naughty Children RoseArt And Mega Bloks This Year babylonbee.com/news/instead-of-coal-santa-to-give-naughty-children-roseart-and-megablocks-this-year

Instead Of Coal, Santa To Give Naughty Children RoseArt And Mega Bloks This Year

NORTH POLE - In a significant departure from long-standing tradition, St. Nicholas will no longer be putting lumps of coal in the stockings of naughty children, starting this Christmas. Instead, sources close to the jolly old elf say he will be giving them something much more disappointing: RoseArt crayons and Mega Bloks building sets.'We found ... | The Babylon Bee

In 'It's A Wonderful Life' Remake, Angel Tells George Bailey To Kill Himself Because He's White babylonbee.com/news/in-its-a-wonderful-life-remake-angel-tells-george-bailey-to-go-kill-himself-because-hes-white

In 'It's A Wonderful Life' Remake, Angel Tells George Bailey To Kill Himself Because He's White

LOS ANGELES, CA - Hollywood is hard at work remaking the Jimmy Stewart classic It's A Wonderful Life for modern audiences, and film critics are praising some recent plot leaks from the new script. In the new version of the film, George Bailey's guardian angel will explain to him that since he is a straight white male, he should probably j ... | The Babylon Bee

Top 10 Candidates To Replace Chris Cuomo babylonbee.com/news/top-10-candidates-to-replace-chris-cuomo

Top 10 Candidates To Replace Chris Cuomo

So, um, some people did something, and now CNN's Primetime slot is empty! Oh no! While we are extremely sad to see the brilliant and legendary Chris Cuomo go, there are a ton of great candidates out there who would do a great job filling his shoes! Here are the top ten possible replacements for Chri ... | The Babylon Bee

Biden Nukes Florida, Says Courts Can Strike Down Later If It Turns Out That's Illegal babylonbee.com/news/biden-launches-nuclear-missile-at-florida-says-courts-can-strike-down-later-if-it-turns-out-thats-illegal

Biden Nukes Florida, Says Courts Can Strike Down Later If It Turns Out That's Illegal

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an epic clapback against Republican governor of Florida Ron DeSantis, President Joe Biden launched a nuclear missile attack against the state today. Dozens of missiles sailed through the air and landed all across Florida. While some legal scholars have questioned the constitutionality of such an action, Biden waved off these conc ... | The Babylon Bee

Study Finds Politicians Safe From Myocarditis As They Do Not Have Hearts babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-politicians-unaffected-by-myocarditis-as-they-do-not-have-hearts

Study Finds Politicians Safe From Myocarditis As They Do Not Have Hearts

U.S. - A new study found that politicians cannot be harmed from heart issues due to the COVID-19 vaccines, as they do not have hearts that can be affected by complications such as myocarditis.'Politicians? Oh yeah, they're totally safe from getting any kind of heart inflammation,' said the head of the study, Dr. Ree Boyd. 'You kinda gott ... | The Babylon Bee

New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins Watch on Youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_i0wadayoe pic.twitter.com/eF6xrCCu9A