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independentnotice's Blog
Freedom, Self-Respect and Stimulation
Published 12/13/18 by independentnotice [1 Comments]


You are ideally free when only your decisions determine your actions.
The more circumstances, emotions and other people can influence your actions, the less free you are.


You have certain needs which you MUST meet.
I think the most important ones are:
Food, Warmth, Rest,
Self-Respect, Stimulation

The first three ones are obvious.
What I call Self-Respect here is often associated with Serotonine.
It is the feeling that you are strong, valuable and ready for the future.
What I call Stimulation here is often associated with Dopamine, Adrenaline and Cortisol.
It is the feeling that you are truly awake, alive and in action.

You must meet those needs.
If you miss the first row, your body disintegrates. You die of hunger, cold or lack of sleep.
If you miss the second row, your mind disintegrates.

Without Self-Respect, you will feel weak.
Then you are limited to cowardly actions.
You will avoid social interactions. You will feel fear and anxiety more intensely.
You will feel little courage and thus adopt a life strategy that is more risk-averse than necessary.
In a flip-side, in rare occasions you will take really stupid risks
because you lost your sense of perspective and feel like "you have little to nothing to lose".
This will limit your options and success severely.

Without Stimulation, you will feel permanently tired.
This is depression. If you sit idle for long enough without excitement, your body and mind go into "hibernate" mode.
Then you will be weaker and more stupid than normal.
This will limit your options and success severely.

Basic Emotions

When your needs are not met, you will feel emotions.
They are basically default strategies of the mind that are suggested to you. They want you to notice and solve the problem at hand.
Hunger, Freezing, Tiredness are obvious.
Craving for validation (lack of Self-Respect) and Stimulation are not so obvious.
These emotions are uncomfortable because they are supposed to make you act.
In a simpler world, there would be very few, very clear ways to get validation (do something important for the tribe, kill or build something, "quests") and stimulation (hunting, fighting, inventing, "adventure & discovery"). That is where these simple feelings come from. If you did not know what to do, the tribe would tell you because they actually needed your help.


An addiction is basically an externalization of emotional control.
You feel a strong emotion and the only way you know how to deal with it is seeking a remedy from the outside world.
Since this remedy is the only one you can imagine at that time, a compulsion is created inside you to act to get that remedy.
You have no choice because you do not know better.

The term "addiction" has a negative connotation because sometimes the remedy is logically wrong.
It is a bad way to meet your need.
It comes with a price that is too high - or it just serves to temporarily overlay your undesired emotions with stronger emotions - until they inevitably come back.
If someone has control over the remedy, they have control over your actions. They own you.

The problem is two-fold:
1. You know only one way to deal with your need ("Alcohol makes me feel less lonely.")
2. You see your emotions as orders instead of merely suggestions ("I HAVE to eat NOW! - So fast food it is.)

If you want to defeat any addiction, you have to work on both sides of the problem simultaneously.

Basic Emotions II

For every need, there are good and bad ways to meet it.


Now, in our complex world, helping people (creating value) is not as simple as killing a mammoth to get food for a month. (This is simple, but HARD.)
Since physical labor is automated now, the hardest part of most jobs is actually figuring out what to do (Development). And then convincing people that this really helped them (Sales).
Until you get returns from this, a lot of planning and effort are required over a long time.

So it is tempting to settle for an easier alternative. Just make someone praise you.
You go to your local hugbox and exchange hugs.
Or you fuck the local slut.
Or you bake a cake for your friends.
Or you call your mom.
Or you post on reddit and count the upvotes.
Or you whiteknight on Facebook.
They are all okay things to do, but notice now, that these are things that are EASY. Anyone can do them with low effort and courage. They do NOT make you special.

If you killed the mammoth, you will forever be the guy who killed the mammoth. You will respect yourself for this. Others can respect you if they want, but you DGAF. Because you proved that you are strong and ready for the future. That gives you Self-Respect.

Baking the cake brought you a bit of praise, but does this mean you are ready for the future? Does this mean anything at all by itself?
It will temporarily satisfy your desire for praise, to pretend you are valuable and strong. But without praise, the cake means nothing.
So now you are dependent on your group of friends to like your cakes and you have to keep baking more cakes to remain emotionally stable.
Welcome to EXTERNAL validation. Welcome to your addiction. (The cake is a lie.)


Now, in our complex world, stimulation (adventure, excitement) is not as simple as joining the hunt and feeling the rush.
Most respected jobs are mental long-term effort projects, not short hard physical challenges.

So it is tempting to settle for an easier alternative. Just pretend to hunt and explore.

  • Any RPG will give you exploration.
  • Any Multiplayer FPS will give you the hunt.
  • The Internet will let you explore more information than will ever be useful for you.
  • Casual Sex also brings a quick rush.
  • If you want more rush, try BDSM.
  • If you want it easier, sacrifice some Self-Respect and be the sub.
  • Or watch the Netflix series with maximum sex and violence.
  • Or cut your arms with a razor blade.

These are all avenues to stimulation and they all work. You just have to be careful because

  • Some consume much of your mental energy (gaming)
  • Some can make you addicted and thus dependent on the supplier of your remedy (casual sex)
  • Some can damage your Self-Respect (humiliation)
  • Some can damage your body (self-harm, drugs)

One important thing for me was to discover that what many people feel is a "need for sex" is actually a need for stimulation. It is an invitation to adventure.

The deeper people go into the sexual rabbit hole, the more it becomes apparent, that "weird", "more intense" sex at some point becomes less sex and more generic Stimulation. Why do some people like getting pissed on? - The brain is very sensitive to social status. Thus, humiliation gives a LOT of (bad) feelings. This is strong Stimulation for the price of Self-Respect. (NEVER, EVER do this trade!!!)
You can get the same Stimulation effect for a better price with

  • cold showers
  • hard workouts
  • high risk work

You do not have a strong need for sex. You do have a need for Stimulation that you can meet in many cool ways.
Once you see it like that, you can stop treating women like the dealers of a drug you need. (Then they can stop treating you like a needy junkie.)
And can start treating them like the funny little diversion from your true mission, they really are.

Many come to TRP thinking that sexual strategy is the solution to their troubles. TRP can teach us what mistakes not to make. But since women are programmed to follow success and happiness, the real solution is success and happiness. Men can survive arctic expeditions for multiple years without even seeing a single woman - and still be proud and content.

Back to Freedom

Freedom is when you have ways to meet your needs that no single person can block.
The way out of weakness to freedom is to find the best ways for you to be valuable and strong and have adventure.

Tip independentnotice for their post.
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Comment by surfthroughlife on 02/01/19 12:05pm

Great job differentiating between a need for stimulation and a need for sex. I've subconsciously been aware of this for awhile, but that bridged a great connection in my mind.

Great article sir.

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