This is an actual e-mail I sent to Mr. Tomaasi. He may never read it because I can only imagine how many mails he receives on a daily basis. However maybe someone in here may relate to some parts of my story and get some useful information for future experiences. It goes like this:

Dear Mr. Tomassi:

I would like to begin this mail by expressing to you my most sincere gratefulness to your work and the impact that it has made in my life and, for sure, in so many others.

The story written below is the story of my old romantic blue pill life, passing through my game and purple pill years to my most recent red pill awakening). As I am writing this I am 31 years old and just broke up 3 months ago with my 3-years-relationship girlfriend. A very dangerous type of woman known as the cute/smart HB 8.

It is a long story and I know you are a very busy man, especially these days with so many podcasts and guests on your channels (which I love by the way) so this is not really intended for you to read right away. Maybe one day when you have some free time you can give it a check and it can help you as a case study for your further investigations. I believe that by expressing what I have experienced and how your book helped me to finally unplug from the feminine imperative matrix I will; 1. Show my appreciation to your work and the community. 2. Realize a catharsis process in order to crystallize the red pill lessons learned over the last years.

However I know that nothing that happened to me is something new to you so I don´t feel my story is special in that sense. I just feel my story can add some new variants and perspectives. Especially for the blue pill alphas out there. I was a hard case and it took me way much more time than necessary to finally swallow the red pill and not throw it back out.

I guess my story is a case for what in your terms could be described as The ones who still cannot kill their inner beta. My belief - and the main reason why I am doing this - is that someone may save months and years of precious life and energy if he somehow can relate with parts of my story and then avoid making the same mistakes I did…and had to painfully pay. I now believe that objective facts rather than wishful expectations will make oneself understand female nature sooner and save valuable time.

Please pardon me if you find terrible language sins in this story but I am by far not a writer and this is my first-of-a-kind writing so please hold on with me.

I would like to begin by giving a brief introduction of myself. Although I don’t think hypergamy discriminates between age, nationality, ethnicity or religion I think it is convenient for the purpose of a better understanding of my story and how can it be useful as a case study for the community.

I am a 31 years old, 5’11” caucasian catholic guy. I was born and raised in a very loving middle-upper class family. I love reading and playing guitar since my early 20s and had a couple of gigs in my life. I am by no means a model but people say (besides from my mom) that I am pretty good looking. I’ve always loved sports since I was in high school. In my later university years (I have a bachelor degree in political science) I started practicing MMA and have done so since then. I’ve managed to develop and maintain to this day six pack abs so one could say I am in really good shape. I have always been very adventurous and have travelled to more than 20 countries around the world so I am fairly open minded when it comes to different cultures and ideas.

Now the reason I am telling you all of this shit is not to brag, it is simply so you can understand what kind of guy I am and why I self-proclaimed as a blue pill alpha . I don’t consider myself as a regular AFC beta with regards to life because I have successfully achieve many plans and goals dictated only by myself over the years and also I have been able to become at many times a leader of man. Although, as my story unfolds, you will see that I’ve been an AFC’s with regards to the ladies for the better part of my life. So that is the reason I think (right or wrongfully) that in your terms I would be a kind of blue pill alpha. A guy who in many aspects of his life has developed alpha traits but still holds to chivalry, Disney fantasies and blue pill conditioning when it comes to his inter-gender relationships.

In order to summarize pivotal phases leading to my final awakening I will divide my story in 4 different periods, PRE-GAME, GAME-AWARENESS, PURPLE PILL and AWAKENING.

PRE-GAME

Just an ordinarily AFC with AFC’s values. I first lost my virginity with a prostitute that my old brother paid for me when I was about 18 (I had a chance with my first girlfriend when I was about 16 but did not do it for fear of get her pregnant…yes even with a condom on, I was paranoid over that shit).

At about that same age I discovered alcohol and its disinhibitory effects on personality. Being raised thinking that most of my masculine traits were something to be ashamed when approaching females (but not when it came to sports, profession or business) I finally found something that gave me the courage and freedom to approach the opposite sex in a smooth and sexual manner. Without alcohol I could never found myself comfortable with expressing sexual intent to the ladies, like a very shy and inhibited guy in this regard. So, it became my strategy: go out, get drunk and let alcohol do the magic for me. However that magic was never with the girls I was really attracted to. It was always with the 5s and 6s…maybe sometimes 7s that happened to randomly bump into my life. I was not intimidated by these women because I was not attracted to them in the first place (at least not without the help of alcohol).

Don’t ask me how but with this lame strategy a managed to pull a 5 notch count mostly on trips I would make to party places (like Cancun for example one time). However, I could never find myself hooking up with the girls I really liked and I always felt like I had to be a millionaire or a rockstar in order to pull that shit off. I felt really hopeless in this regard. That was of course until I heard of a secret PUA’s community and got my hands into an almost black magic book named The Game.

GAME-AWARENESS

Looking into it retrospectively I can securely confirm that having that book in my hands (at about age 23) without the basic understandings of hypergamy and female nature was like, as you well describe in The Rational Male, giving dynamite to a kid. Only thing I knew by that point is that FINALLY I had the secret weapon, the holy grail I had been searching for so long. The method to get hot chicks without having to be a millionaire or a rockstar. So I started to learn GAME and trying to put something in practice (although being my main approach to knowledge theoretical instead of practical for so long I would be a 70% game literature 30% practice kind of student).

For a long period of time, let’s say from when I was about 23 to 27 I applied many game principles and had moderate good results, at least better than before. I could now not only rely on alcohol but on a dangerous combination of game tactics mixed with booze (because by that time the booze was so ingrained my mating strategies that I could not do without it completely).

However, during all that time, even though my game tactics had given some good results, a very fundamental disease or cancer had prevailed in me; One-itis.

Looking back, I think one-itis is the true line that divides the purple pill from the red pill. It’s like the purple pill has all the knowledge and experience necessary to make the jump into red. He has SEEN IT WITH HIS OWN EYES. All the crazy-non-disney shit women will in fact DO and REACT to. With his own game experience, and red pill studies, the purple pill guy now KNOWS! But for some weird reason he still holds on to the soul-mate myth that prevents him from developing a plate spinning rotation and fundamentally understand and experience the benefits of competition anxiety and other red pill concepts.

In all my PRE GAME and GAME AWARENESS periods of life (from about 12 to 27) I would always had at some point or another a girl that I had developed a one-itis for. And what all of those girl-obsessions had in common was that I could never, and without an exception, become really intimate with. With some of them I may have talked a little, with others a lot. With some I may have just danced or had a date, hell, even had a little kiss. But with none of them did I ever have sex, ever.

The last and most severe one-itis I experienced in my life was the build up to the most obscure age in my dating history.

PURPLE PILL

It happened this way. When I was about 25 years old I joined an MMA gym. There, the coach and owner of the gym (about 3 years older than me) had a sister to whom I immediately fell in love (whatever that means) from the first moment that I saw her. Even to this day I still think she is a solid 9 for my taste. So, as a good AFC would do, I decided to make my indirect non sexual way into her. I became a close friend of my mma coach and developed a kind of passion for MMA (MMA would equal GYM, GYM would equal COACH and COACH would equal a way to get to know his sister).

I trained like crazy. Hell I even got into real kickboxing fights. Got a couple of ribs and a nose broken. It didn’t matter, it was all part of the plan. One day she would notice the very best student of his brothers gym and something somehow would magically happen.

It didn’t happen and it took me about 2 years of indirect approaches (like for example hoping to bump into her at the gym or in parties that her brother would go) to finally get that girl phone number. But I got it, and now game was on! I used ALL the GAME arsenal I had at my disposal. The very best I knew. I even started to get a mini rotation of about two plates just so she would notice that I had other options, but the problem was that I was having those options just as another game validation tactic and not because of REAL and genuine masculine abundance mindset. In other words: I was putting up a big show all BECAUSE of her.

But why?

By that time I had a notch count of about 16 (without including prostitutes) and had a fairly decent experience of the dating world. I had seen all kind of crazy shit, girls I had sex the first night I met with in the bathroom of the party, girls I pulled out from the bar to my car, etc. And so why would I persist to pedestalize ONE girl? Why would I not see the INSANITY of the importance, time and energy I was attributing to this only one girl?

The focus of my life, of my activities, of my thoughts and emotions. Even my plates, I could not truly enjoy because I was always thinking of her, that she was the one for me, my soul mate. Fuck I even once knew a guy (not her boyfriend) from my gym that, I was almost sure, fucked her (he told me) a couple of years before and was willing to let that go and not let it bother me. Why!?

So I fired my best text game possible, I even revise all my PUA’s text guides from back in the day. And it was working at least in my mind. And so when about a month of texting game passed I finally develop the courage to ask her out. In my defense it was an especially awkward situation her brother being one of my best friends AND mma coach. But I did it, and what happened? She flaked on me giving a lot of excuses my old blue pill beta self would take as legitimate reasons. Two weeks passed, again I asked her out. Again, flake.

I don’t know why is it so hard for us men to see that, in your words, The Medium is the Message. I feel women get this naturally and instinctually. So easy, so fast. They immediately get the incongruences between the words one utters and what one does. But for us men, especially when we have one-itis, this shit is so hard to do.

Anyway, the text game continued until a third and last flake where she even stopped to return my text messages. And that was it for me. Game Over with this chick. Years of my life had gone by and not even a kiss had I gotten from this girl EVEN with me supposedly knowing some good GAME.

Butt hurt and disillusioned I decided to continue with my life activities but still having this girl in the back of my head. I continued to train a lot, maybe subconsciously hoping that someday she would see the value in me. I decided to focus on my activities, developing my finances, fitness and I even got a skydiving license (a new dangerous hobby I decided to join after my failed attempt with the girl).

Many months went by and then something very strange happened…

I started to bump into her sister (my coach other older sister) in many places. Bear in mind I barely knew of the existence of this girl by maybe fb pictures and one time I saw her in an event. This girl was in many ways the opposite of my old one-itis crush. She did not really like to party so much and wear make-up and dresses and all that kind of feminine stuff. She really liked to read and was very intellectual. She liked to hear good 70s rock music and shared many of my interests but at the same time she was very cute. A kind of tomboy that could from time to time dress up and even look pretty hot and beautiful (specially taking her other qualities into consideration). An accessible beautythat physically reminded me of her sister and most important of all she was REALLY INTO ME! In the back of my head I would think “man, if only her sister would have seen what she sees in me”. As your saying goes Mr. Tomassi necessity becomes virtue and we men have such a big capacity to rationalize anything to better fit our circumstances in life.

We started talking back and forward for a couple of days and my 28^th birthday was coming, so I decided to do a big birthday party and invited both sisters (my old crush and the new cute/smart HB 8 sister). Bear in mind I had a good two HB 7s rotation and was doing pretty cool things at that time of my life (like skydiving, making good money, training a lot, etc.) So all my friends got to the party, my couple of plates, girl friends from the past, and last but not least, the two sisters. Looking back I don’t know why I invited them both to that party but I guess the real reason was that I wanted to make jealous my old crush. A kind of “Look, your smart sister knows how to appreciate a good man when she sees one, now you lost your opportunity”. The sad part is that, at least by that time, I wasn’t really “in love” with her smart sister.

After that party everything went pretty fast with the cute/smart sister. She was so attentive to me. A couple of days after the party we went out but I decided to invite some other friends so she would not think of it as a formal date because I was really not convinced I wanted to go further the road with her. Knowing that she was such a “special unicorn” I did not feel comfortable knowing that I could hurt her because I really wasn’t so much into her. But I was weak. And on that date, after many beers we ended up making out. The thing continued like that for other dates and part of me liked it but deep down inside I was feeling tense because I still really liked her sister.

A couple of weeks later, when we were on third base in the car and about to hit home, something very unexpected happened. “Listen, I got to tell you something, I am a virgin” (she was 28 years old by that time) she said with concerned eyes.

Having some decent experience with game in the fields I laughed and replied “hey don’t worry, you don’t have to lie to me, there is no problem if you had sexual relationships in the past, is your privacy, your thing, I don’t mind for such things” No, seriously, I did blowjobs to my ex boyfriend and have hit third base many times in the past, but I have never had sexual intercourse. But now I do want to make it with you” Now I am freaking out a little. “Listen you told me your last relationship with your ex lasted more than 2 years, you now expect me to believe you that for more than 2 whole years you did not have sex with the guy and now that we have dated for about 2 weeks you want me to be your first”

“Yes” she replies.

From that moment on, I thought I had found the virtuos unicorn. I had found a keeper. A girl who was worthy of my time, work and effort. The legendary quality girl was at my reach and it was up to me to take the challenge and make it work. Little did I know that I was entering into the most nerve breaking and unproductive phase of my dating life.

So we began the relationship. At the beginning she had all the attributes that all the other slutty club girls didn’t. Or at least she presented herself to me in that way. So the first thing I thought in my good old fashion deductive way of thinking was “ok, I found a quality girl, therefore my reproductive problem has been solved, therefore I don’t have to do all that game manipulative stuff anymore”. I threw all my plates to the garbage. Here I was with a girl I felt was worth something and so she deserved all my respect, I thought. I will now fully stop talking and seeing other girls other than her, let alone having sex with them. This is the one. I don’t want to spoil this opportunity.

And so I did. I actually did that shit. Loyal monogamous mode fully on!

My dear Lord how naïve I was at that time. And not because I decided to never cheat on her, but because I decided to basically remove myself from the sexual market. Full exclusivity for her.

Her virginity turned out to be actually true (to the best of my knowledge) for how complicated, awkward and messy our first encounters were. Far from pleasure most of them were very stressful for both. Me trying to keep a hard on with someone who was feeling pain rather than pleasure.Her, trying to keep me motivated and at the same time not to show her inexperience and discomfort. However we made it. Anyways it was all on loves sake right? It could not fail. We were trying to accomplish something pure, noble and romantic. Didn’t we? Or was that only an idea I was pursuing in my head?

I did not really enjoy the sex with her in the first couple of months but I thought to myself “hey, it is just a phase, and I will teach her to be a pro at this thing anyways”. And so I tried. And it actually got better. To the point of good pleasurable sex, at least to me.

I am not going to lie here. After our first couple of months she became really in love with me, and I was trying to become as in love with her. But I really was not and it was hard to fake. But I knew she was a great catch and so I had to keep putting up the work.

So the months started to pass by, then a year, and every day, little by little she seemed to become more dominant and demanding. But thanks to the notion of the alpha traits that I had in the back of my mind I never really fully gave way into her demands. But the problem was this: for me it was an eternal alpha action-guilt cycle. I would try to maintain an alpha dominant position by not doing what she wanted or being a jerk sometimes (because remember I knew game at that time…as a matter of fact! I remember even watching a brief summary of TRM on youtube in the middle of my relationship) and then she would make me feel awful and I would revert back to guilt for trying to be an old fashion Neanderthal alpha with such a delicate and special flower as she was. Or at least I thought she was.

As time went by, I started to pay more importance on the business-provider side of my part in the relationship. Why? Because even though I knew how important the Alpha part was, in my mind, I had already figured that out, and now I could relax and just focus on my business and getting my finances in order. Also as I spent so much time not having any kind of contact with any women whatsoever (my business was online) that my PUA skills had deteriorated. My social proof was practically zero because my whole business depended on just me in my computer at my room working. The only thing I could rely on by that time to keep her interest level high was my looks. I was still training like a Spartan. I still had a six pack and looked great. But here was the first big lesson I learned from that relationship:

Looks is not enough. Especially in an LTR.

It is not like in the old days where your woman was to be fully occupied in the house doing all kind of labors waiting for you to come home from a long day at work. Not anymore. Women have jobs now. They work in corporations. So even if they are not going out to party every weekend, they are still out there in the field. Meeting all kind of new dudes every day. So it is just a matter of time for them to meet new handsome attractive dudes. Maybe a little less in shape but probably more financially successful. My ex was no exception. She worked in a big corporation. I knew she had plenty of thirsty betas waiting for me to just trip on.

I knew that but I was confident in my looks and alpha qualities. But I was beginning to feel uneasy abou the whole thing, like my confidence was evaporating little by little. By exactly this time of my relationship I had upgraded my ex in my HB scale making her an 8.5 and downgraded her sister (my old crush) making her an 8 top. Why? Well, first of all because necessity becomes virtue and secondly because, in my mind, she was not the kind of quality girl my ex was. But ironically enough, by that time when I was starting to love my ex the most, was precisely when we began to have the most arguments and when my frame was the most challenged. And so each day we would fight more and more until one day I went to her home from my work and we had a big argument over some family issue (her dad said some things I considered very disrespectful) and as I was getting into my car to leave her house she said she was not going to call me or text me or anything this time. I still left and did not talk to her at all for about a week. Until I realized that was going too far and I decided to call her.

“hey I want us to get together tomorrow to talk about our relation problems” I said.

“I can’t tomorrow, I am going on a trip with my girlfriends” she replied.

“what!? You are not going anywhere! Listen if you value this relationship you will stay to solve our issues”

She still went on that trip and so I just did not called her at all or got back in touch with her. Our relationship was over, I thought.

A month went by and I could just feel so much anger inside of myself. So much time wasted with a girl that, on the first place, I was not really so much into anyways…and now she had not appreciated all my efforts and left me just like that.

A couple of months went by since we implicitly broke up and I had turmoil of emotions going inside myself that I could not relieve in any way. I don’t know why was it so hard for to just start going out again and game some hot chicks. Have some new adventures. New good sex. Hell I even had forgotten how that felt for a long time. But I didn’t want any of that. I wanted my soul-mate back. I wanted her to come back and obeyed my requests. For her to feel the way she felt about me in the beginning and make things right from the start.

I decided to go to an Ayahuasca trip.

It was amazing. An awesome experience. I felt a lot of pain relieved from my heart in a matter of days. Felt emotionally renewed (this experience would be a whole writing in itself).

Strangely enough, my conclusion from that trip was that I needed to look for her, and I felt compelled to tell her how much I really loved her and make up for all the times that I had been a bad boyfriend (in the sense I did not do what was expected from a beta chump).

And so I did. I called her. She agreed to meet up. We talked. She had developed new conditions and requisites from me. She negotiated terms to get back in the relationship. Weird. I agreed. Weirder. We talked more. I asked her if she went on dating with someone in my two months absence. She said “yes, one guy”. “Did you have sex with this guy?” (I knew if she would have said yes I would have left right there on the moment, she knew that too of course). “No” she said.“Then what did you do?” I asked. “We just made out” she replied. I believed her in that moment. I was doomed for annihilation.

We got back together but from day 1 of our attempt to reconstruct the relationship shit just got nastier and nastier and so one of the most paranoid, tense and unproductive periods of my life took place. Never had I experienced something similar, not even with past ex-girlfriends.

Always suspicious of her, always on defense mode, always finding new weird things in her behavior. Like for example her sudden desire to go out to social events without myself, her excessive protection of her phone privacy and even how she would not post any kind of social media of us together…it was never the same as it was in the past. That cute/smart/virgin girl that I slowly but surely fell in love for was gone and gone for good.

Reminds me now of Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 which states that it is always better to start with a new fresh prospect than to try to re-build a broken relationship. But I did not paid attention to that rule by that time. And probably if I would have paid the proper attention I wouldn’t have cared anyways.

To this day I have not been able to find explicit confirming evidence of her cheating on me. The thing is that in the last year of the relation got to a point where I just didn’t have to anyways. My gut instinct was enough to tell me something was very wrong. I remember one time we were talking on the phone and she said to me “You know something shitty happened to me today, I was at the mall parking lot and slipped in some car oil and hurt my knees”. I remember the next day when we met asking her to lift up her pants so I could see the bruises. I remember trying to make sense of both knees being bruised in a very weird angle and asking her to reproduce the movement of the fall.

Had I totally lost my mind by that time? Where did the virgin smart/cute girl go?

Did it all just happened by itself? Was it my fault? When exactly did I lose my confidence and the roles flipped?

It took me more than one year, and a lot of pain, to finally gather the courage to end that very toxic relationship. What the fuck was I doing? Was I sleeping? The thing never even started well and just got worst and worst with the time. Why didn’t I just end the whole cancer before? Why waste 3 valuable years of my time (and hers) in such stressful way? Was it fear of rejection? Fear of losing my steady supply of pussy and going back into the SMP? Was it hope that things were simply just going to get better? Or maybe it was my lack of purpose and direction in my life that made me flicker into such dramas? Maybe a bad combination of all of the above?

About a month after the break up I started to consume PUAs, Dating, MGTOW and other videos of the kind again until someone in some video I saw (I think it was Alpha Male Strategies? Maybe, I don’t exactly remember, I was watching a lot of those type of channels by that time) recommended the book The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

“Hey, I recall that title. Yeah it’s that book from where I saw that little video summary that time”

It had past probably more than a year since that time when I saw that video of that guy, Rollo Tomassi, and his 9 Iron Rules. But this time I was in for the real actual book and not some shitty 10 minutes summary on youtube.

And so my awakening begun…

AWAKENING

Let me start by explaining why I rather use the term awakening instead of unplugging.For it is true that in order to be unplugged you first have to take the red pill, it is also true that in order to be awake in the real world you first have to be unplugged. But just as you can swallow the red pill and spit it back up, you can also be unplugged and just remain like that. Like someone who is there staring at the real world but does not know what to do and his actions and behaviors remain the same. He has still not reaped the fruits and benefits from being unplugged. In other words he has just seen the downside of it. Not all the freedom and possibilities it opens up for him. Even back then when I was first unplugged I never really felt the freedom and understanding I feel now until I read, and slowly digested, The Rational Male. I guess the most similar experience I can compare this sensation with is when I first read The Game. They are complimentary. The Game gave me hope and taught me the how. But I never knew the why. And for some of us, the why is very important. It gives us roots which are important in times of strong winds and chaos.

I don’t want to expand too much here because I think my new real red pill adventures are just beginning.But let me just tell you that in the last two months I managed to F close two HB 8s and one HB 9. That same HB 9 would have been almost impossible for me to get in the past. Why? Because in the past, no matter how much game I would learn, I still hadn’t annihilated the one-itis cancer running in my veins.

And you know what’s best? I felt relaxed after I closed that HB 9. I didn’t fall in love with her. I didn’t have to lose my shit over it. I just felt grateful for the new plate that may develop into something more or may not. It’s ok. There are more plates out there. There is no hurry. There is no one slipping away from my hands. There are good ones and bad ones.And all of this has not much to do with an improvement of my game but more to do with a change of mindset. That fundamental change took place in me when I finally understood the basics of hypergamy. The root of all many other branches.

There is no going back now. The door has been opened for me and I have walked through it. A whole new world of real challenges and opportunities reveals to me. I can accept it. I even embrace it.

I deeply thank you Mr. Tomassi.

I am excited now. Let’s go!