To the casual observer, people just like what they like, and such preferences should not be given much meaning as it relates to one’s favorite social media platform.
To the astute observer however, a new tech paradigm appears to be emerging.
One can search for a root causes or watershed event as the inflection point (Tipping Point?), but root-cause analysis is foolhardy when trying to analyze complex sociological phenomena. There were many shifts and changes, including the drastic and chilling transformation of Reddit under Ellen Pao, and Zuckerberg's purchase of Instagram just to name two. There is no single event or smoking gun; it has been a slow inexorable shift that appears to be crystallizing now in 2025 into a permanent divide that may never be undone.
For lack of a better name, let’s call this the Platform Chasm.
In years past, platforms like Facebook and Reddit attracted a wide spectrum of people. Folks either argued or kept to themselves, but they all consumed relatively similar content. Moving from one platform to the next, one still encounter the same popular memes and pop culture references – age and generation differences notwithstanding. There was an array or spectrum of beliefs and views on each of the major social media, and everyone sorted themselves out.
Now, entire platforms have been created to attract one side of the political aisle or the other. The current divide between X.com and Bluesky is one such example of people choosing their own echo chambers. In this case, the center-to-left crowed enjoyed nearly a decade of a highly curated and censored platform with little dissent allowed. Twitter, like Reddit became far left, arguably extremist platforms for all things race-baity and Trump-hatey. With the changes wrought by Elon Musk, the platform called back some of those who had been shut out.
Most Americans who were right of center had no refuge and no platform upon which to commiserate.
As X now, the platform still throttles some content – although it appears to be inconsistent and anecdotal. Nonetheless it has become somewhat of a last bastion for free speech. And that’s where things get weird. Bluesky was created to serve as a counter to the tumult of an open free speech platform. In other words, it attracted left-leaning voices who do not wish to have their ideas challenged in public forums.Few would acknowledge or admit this, but that has been the ultimate effect.
People are self-selecting into their own echo chambers. Whereas there were once a dozen major platforms where people mixed it up, the middle ground as given way and left a chasm between left and right.
One might reasonably counter with “Sure, but that has always been true – subreddits were essentially the same thing”, and that is a fair rebuttal, but now it has become systemic. Entire platforms are being created to not only attract like-minded perspectives, but to exclude “forbidden” ones. Bluesky and Truth social are two such examples. Call them silos, echo chambers, or far left/right platforms – all apropos.
X.com is somewhat unique in that there does still seem to be legitimate debate and discussion. To a Democrat, however, such pushback to their ideas is routinely labeled “alt Right” and dismissed. This is hardly a recipe for finding common ground. Now for the crucial component – AI. I asked ChatGPT which was the best ai platform. It did a good job, but completely ignored Grok; which was what I was expecting to happen. When prompted “why did you not mention Grok” it backpedaled, offering “Ah, good catch! Let's talk about Grok, Elon Musk’s AI, which lives inside X (formerly Twitter).”
Good catch indeed.
The bias is already baked in; bias of some sort can be expected on all these tools whether Copilot, Gemini, ChatGPT, or Grok. There is a lot to say about this – how these tools are trained, who trains them, what is disallowed, and how they are embedded are a few of many facts of the conversation worthy of consideration.
As these things evolve, it is conceivable that a combination of algorithms, explicit personal preferences, and guidance driven by corporate policy and political perspectives may result in permanent bubbles. These bubbles, once formed, can easily lead to humans living next door to each other in real life, yet their “realities” are truly their own.Highly focused and curated content coupled with deeply embedded propaganda and censorship appears to be leading us to a possible future in which the physical brains of people may develop differently based on such content. Somatic markers and myriad cognitive biases could metastasize and crystallize to a point where there may be no cure.
As I write this, it is clear that this piece is less of a prediction of the future, as it is an observation of the present state of online life. What remains to be seen is the long term impact of the tech and this Chasm on the physical human brain.
We have all heard about women’s unrealistic standards.
Add to this, the growing trend of older women entering the dating scene (post divorce) with even higher expectations than they had when they were much younger.
Add to this the fact that so many of these women have lost their most valuable “asset” – youth.
So what’s a woman to do?
The overwhelming consensus among men seems to be that such women should lower their standards.
This is wrong.
If one does even a slightly deeper dive, it becomes clear that women’s dating standards are just fine where they are - for DATING. But they have little to no use in finding a partner or husband.
Perhaps an analogy will help.
Woman Seeks Good Handyman
Imagine a 20-year-old woman who inherited a 4-family home. She loves her house, and it is nearly perfect. She live in the bottom apartment and rents out the rest. Her tenants are all elderly and friendly and consistent in paying rent. It is an awesome situation for her.
Her overwhelming need for the first 10 years in the house was finding a plumber. The house was in great shape, except for the plumbing. It had a few issues, and she knew this. So, over the intervening decade, she had to seek out the help of a plumber nearly a dozen times. Some for small things like unclogging a toilet, all the way up to installing a vent stack - which is a more formidable task.
Every time she paid a plumber, she felt happy about the work. It always felt fair. She got what she paid for.
Still, something was lacking. Some plumbers must break through walls in order to get to pipes. (We all know what plumbers will do to framing when no one is watching, but I digress) They also never seem to completely clean up after a job.
Another issue is that she has, on most occasions, asked each plumber if they can also fix other things; like a washing machine, change oil, or replace a funky electrical outlet. Some plumbers can do these things, and some cannot. But most do not because they are not licensed electricians, or trained mechanics. Business insurance does not cover everything.
Besides, doing a job, and doing it well, are very different things.
Throughout the decade, she became increasingly aware that she needs someone who can be more of a handyman. Someone who is reasonably good and many things - but who but may be lacking in the plumbing or electrical departments. Small jobs, no problem; rewiring an entire house – not so much.
She also wants to put a pergola in the back yard, paint the master bedroom, redo the entire downstairs bathroom, and someone to take care of the lawn would be nice. This stuff is very expensive. And the list goes on.
Houses are a lot of work!
So she decides it might be good to hire someone part-time.
That should do it! YES! This is the answer. She makes enough to pay someone about $20k a year to do it all - about 15-20 hours a week for the foreseeable future is what she needs.
Yes. THIS is the way.
So what does our Girl do? Where can one find such a man?
She goes to plumbersforhire.com. After all, that’s where she found all the other plumbers. Surely there will be at least ONE generalist or handyman there. I mean the odds have to be in her favor. Maybe just ONE. Right?
She interviews them, in-person over lunch. She asks questions about plumbing, electrical, and other questions. She’s never quite sure if she’s asking the right questions; after all she’s not a plumber, or a carpenter, or…well any of the things she’s looking for. But in her view, SHE Is the arbiter of what a good plumber handy dude should be. After all, ALL of her best friends agree. They too struggle with such issues. And women know best.
Still, good handymen are hard to find. And her friends (and she) often lament "where are all the good handy men?”
After many interviews, things aren't going so well.
She had one guy ask if he could live there rent free for a reduced salary, plus food, and use of the laundry machines in exchange for a $5k reduction.
She thinks about it and has an epiphany.
FINALLY! Yes! Someone gets it. They negotiate, they agree, they shake hands. Easy-peasy lemon squeezy!
(By now, most of you know where this is going)
Her first mistake, no contract. Second mistake, too many terms and conditions not covered – can guests stay over, who mops the floors in the “common” areas, sick days?
You get it.
This does not work. She put a lot of time and effort and money into this plumber. But he absolutely sucks at most other things. She even cooks for him and even did some of his laundry. He thanked her, but did not reciprocate as she had expected (in her mind without saying it out loud). Needless to say, resentments build until it became unsustainable.
After 18 months, she had to let him go. They both got over it quickly - as it turns out there are dozens of women in the area who are looking for a live-in plumber. Go figure. He’s already on to the next.
But Our Girl is not happy. Why is it so hard to find a good handyman?
She knows! How about going to carpenterhelp.com Yes! This makes so much sense. She has had all of her plumbing issues solved by previous plumbers, so she should change her focus.
THIS is the way. Yeah, this one will do it for sure.
Fast forward in time. Our fair maiden is now 45 years old. Still living alone and the place look like – if we’re being honest here – total crap. She has 5 cats and thinking about another one. She has a few health issues that are managed with medication. But her energy levels have decreased. The boiler is on it’s last leg, and the roof just started leaking. She often cries herself to sleep, feeling "Why are things to messed up?" Why won’t a decent handyman just enter her world and solve all her problems, and just accept the peasant status and pathetic compensation?
After all SHE has all the power and SHE owns the house. Why can’t they just shut up and do the work.
She is very bitter at this point. She is on her third therapist. The most recent one recommends medication. She is despondent.
She has recently thinking about a few of the men who have come and gone over the past 25 years. Could she go back and "fix" what she did "wrong" and maybe get one back?
*sigh*
Life sucks.
What adds insult to injury, is that she knows so many women with perfect live-in handymen. Like, what the hell is the problem with handymen!? It is clearly not her or her selection criteria. That is one thing she knows for sure. After all, she is THE expert among her friend group at seeking and hiring such men. In fact, she has 10 times more experience in this area than all her friends combined.
What do they know?
Yet they seem happy with their respective handymen.
Mostly happy anyway. A few of them complain about how their guy cannot fix a transmission problem, or replace a roof. These men are so worthless. Like what are they even paying these men for? Also, three of her friends want a new addition on the back of the house. And all three of their men told them that this takes permits, a lot of money, and a whole construction crew. Besides, to buy the tools and equipment alone would be a bank-breaker.
Ugh. MEN.
One evening on girls night out, she was whining about her miserable situation, when one of her friends drunkenly blurted out. “Girl, you just need to lower your standards!”
An argument broke out:
Our Girl: What the HELL is that supposed to mean?
Drunk Chick: You always complain on and on, yet you have standards that no man can meet! What plumber can also do roofing? Girl, you are delusional!
Our Girl: You know what, fuck YOU. Look at YOUR handyman. He can’t even rebuild a transmission!
Drunk Chick: Yeah, but look at my HOUSE bitch. I live in a fucking mansion. You live in the basement apartment of a slum building!
Yeah. This was not a good night for our girl.
Needless to say, the debate got heated and the other friends intervened to calm things down.
Another friend gave our girl a ride home. She offered:
Girl, you know how she gets when she’s drunk. But you also know she’s right. You expect way too much from these plumbers. Plumbers gonna plumb. Also you keep looking for a handyman on plummerboys.com How did you think that was going to go?
You really do need to lower your standards.
Here’s my advice and keep in mind that I love you girl. Besties forever, right?
Our girl (dejectedly): yeah. *sigh* besties forever.*fake smile*
First, lower your standards. Don’t expect plumbers to be able to do most things. Just take all your expectations and cut them in half. Let’s be fair to plumbers here. Who’s gonna do that work? You?
Second, go to Home Depot. STOP LAUGHING. Just try it. I guarantee you, you WILL Find a better array of men there.
So off our girl goes to sleep off the hangover. The next day she sits down and starts writing:
**Seeking Handyman**
She prints out a bunch of copies and heads out to Home Depot on a sunny Saturday afternoon. It is absolutely packed, but the outdoor garden center is boat loaded with men, so off she goes. She begins introducing herself and handing out flyers. After the pile is done, she goes home and waits for the calls to start coming in.
No one calls.
WT actual F!
Ok, fine. That was just one weekend. Maye, she thought I’ll give it a month or so. It’s early spring, so I have time! So back she goes, week after week, and sometimes three day s week. Hundreds of flyers and quite a few hours invested.
She has high hopes. She took the advice and went where the working men shop, she lowered her standards, AND raised her price. This hurts her because she feels like she is setting AND overpaying. But the house is really falling apart at this point. Some tenants have even complained and threatened to go to the local code enforcement office. This would be very bad because now she will have a timeline and risk having her property condemned. Then it will be way more expensive.
It has been two weeks since the last flyer and still no handyman.
She just goes numb. That night she goes home and gets drunk by herself for the first time ever. Her friends are all busy these days enjoying their beautiful homes and the company of their handymen. As it turns out, working class men are a lot smarter than her friends realized. They talk about movies and poetry and even art museums. And they tend to be more traditionally masculine, so her friends feel safe and taken care of in the presence of these men. Something they did not expect.
Half of her friends cook and clean up after their handymen. NOT ONE of them will openly admit it, but she has caught them more than once taking care of these men. What they get in return is WAY more valuable than folding a few pair of jeans and shorts, and adding a few ingredients to daily meals. Like please. No brainer!
Who knew?
Fast forward six months from the last Home Depo visit. Our girl has pretty much given up. She is taking a walk in her neighborhood, and she sees a house that was having a front porch rebuild. An older man and woman were there working together. The woman was making lemonade and sandwiches and playing DJ on Bluetooth. But the thing that jumped out most was that they were both laughing hysterically She could hear and see it from down the block.
“What could be so funny about working in the heat in the summer?” She thought.
Weirdos.
As she approached, she noticed something odd. The man went over to a pile of material in the driveway. She noticed some pex pipe, electrical conduit, cinderblocks, and a few bags of cement. She was intrigued.
Our Girl: Hey, excuse me.
Older Lady: Hi, what can I do for you?
Our Girl: May I ask what you’re doing?
Older Lady: My handyman and I are renovating the façade and the front yard. Well (she whispered) if I’m being honest, HE is doing all the work. I’m the entertainment!
They both giggle.
The old lady continues:
Back when I was your age, this place was a wreck. I tried so hard to find men to help, it was a nightmare. All these men were good at one thig or another, but there is always something going wrong with a house! If you own a house, you know what I mean.
Our girl smiled coldly.
Well when I was about 30 I ran into his guy. Well, technically I went out looking for him. I went to a few websites and asked everyone I know – I told them I need a handyman. And before you know it, I had a few takers and here we are:
Our girl’s jaw dropped. Wait, just like that?
“yes, just like that. I guess I just got lucky”
Our girl: I have tried everything!
Our girl recounts her entire tale. The countless mistakes and disappointments, the trials and tribulations. The flyers, the money, the lower standards. Everything.
The older woman listened attentively and nodded. “May I offer some advice?”
Oh my god, yes please! I am getting old and I am desperate!
Here is my very biased opinion, and it may sound harsh, so please take this in the good spirting in which is is being given.
Of course! I’ll take any advice at this point!
Ok, here are a few thoughts:
Our girl stood there dumbfounded. So many things became clear in that moment - it was like getting struck by lightning.
Were her friends clowning her with all that bad advice? It sounded good at the time. Whey didn’t her mom tell her? Well, mom always did have issues with committing.
Older lady: Well miss, I would love to keep chatting, but my man needs to come down and take a break. I think we BOTH need a break – in the bedroom, if you get my meaning. Haha! Don’t tell anyone I said that! Good luck! I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Our Girl: Thank you so so much. And good luck with the house work!
Older Lady: Tomorrow we’re putting in a small fountain – that’ what all those other materials are for. My guy is always learning new things. Thank God for YouTube!
Bye!
___________________________________
As our girl makes her way back home, she covers the two miles a little more slowly than usual. She was lost in thought. Suddenly everything seemed hazy and confusing. She felt something powerful inside. She decided it was anger. For all these years she was crapping on “men”. She finally realized how ridiculously easy, and rewarding it could be to get what you want and need by just going to the right place and asking!
She never gave to much thought to the long-term future. What the hell was she thinking?
(A random thought intruded- did that old lady just imply that she was going upstairs to get LAID? WTH!)
Shit, even old ladies have it better than me!
She walked in the back door, took off her shoes, fed the cats and sat down to write a new list for her first post on wherearallthegoodhandymen.com:
Homeowner Looking for Long-Term Handyman
And she started listing her new criteria.
_____________________________________________
And that is where we leave our girl to her devices.
Sadly, this story does not have a good ending.
As it turns out, not many competent, energetic, ethical, easygoing, reasonable handymen want to buy into a broken down slum building. There is just too much neglect, too much work, and too little value. Besides, this woman is asking for someone who is good at all things. No man can do everything. Plus, her long list of disappointments with past plumber is a massive red flag at several levels.
The comment "Not looking to play games" pops out for most men.
So as we pan out, we find our girl alone with cats in a one-bedroom apartment.
She lost the house due to the large list of unacceptable code violations. She got away with it for over a decade, but the town had to do something.
Deep inside, she feels happy. Yes, she is happy. All of that responsibility is done. She doesn’t need a handyman after all! Besides, she has plenty of boxed wine and she has her fur babies. She now spends most of her time on reddit complaining about how bad the trades are. Her last post advocated extra taxes on men working in the trades to help pay for lonely women who cannot afford to repair and maintain their own houses.
After all, a properly maintained house is a human right!
She ended her post, signed u/whereareallthegoodhandymen