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disabledtrp's Blog
Lesson learned after founding TRP for over a year as a disabled person
Published 11/05/19 by disabledtrp [0 Comments]
TLDR: If you are disabled, you are fucked to get laid. Still, you can grow personally in the aspect of the social anxiety with women and your IDGAF.
I don't even remember how i ended up in TRP. I know that has something to do with "The Game" book of neil strauss that one friend of mine recommended to me. I just want to share some real experience at this self-improvement journey, in case that other people in my similar but particular situation is looking for some previous experience. Sorry to disappoint you but is not gonna be a positive outcome in the aspect of getting women. Is all based in everything i tried, and i'm trying to be as honest as possible. Like everything you read at the internet, take it with a grain of salt.
Context:
30Yr old, 5.9'', white, 14% body fat, not shredded, as my genetic sucks and all the fat get's in my lower belly, and by time i reach the 10%, i will be left with some loose skin. But i have an awesome back. Bald. Business man. I use awesome suits & shirts most of the time. No sport wear except for the gym. On the disability side, i use an O2 tank 24/7. I use something like this in my face. As someone who has work & done business since very young (i started to work at 11yr old, as i was poor as fuck), the TRP concept weren't completely weird for me. outcome independence, social interactions, body & speaking language, rejection handling, frame where all concepts i used every day to survive. But related to women, i was the most BP ever. When i saw it wrote here, everything just made a click.
Actions:
When i started, i was fat as fuck and with an outdated wardrobe. Of course, i started to lift as much as i could, due my physical limit, and reached my actual state. Where at least, i can easily use size 1 slim fit shirts or tank tops and look beach lean. Updated the wardrobe with shirts i like, i would say they are in the "Mistery" side of fashion, but i love them and they are always a good conversation topic. After that, i started OD and on social circles i already frequented (that weren't related to work).
Results:
After hundreds of matches, & real life approaches, i only got 2 dates. One 8HB that wanted to have a free drink but at least i could escalate kino to K-close. Another 7HB that wanted a free meal and nothing happened. Did i knew that where their intentions? Yes. Why did you accepted? I believe any experience is good. When you don't have even the small chance to have a 1 to 1 with women like me, you will take them, just to acquire the experience.
Now, i could get an 3/4/5HB. Fatties of 200 pounds, other disabled person or just genetically & post wall (40yr+) very ugly women. I haven't took the chance, simply why it doesn't worth my time. If i need to spend my time trying to seduce or kino someone who doesn't has options, i prefer to spend more time at the gym or at work. Or pay a hooker, that is what i have been doing so far. It just doesn't serve the purpose of improving myself.
Why does this happen if i got better in physical terms, if i have money & status, if i dress well, if my openers always make anyone laugh or be hook up at the conversation, if i have anecdotes of travels & places, hobbies to tell about, knowledge about 20 different industries (in an interesting or funny way i mean)?
Why it doesn't matter how much you improve (except if you are a movie star), if you have a visible disability, it will kill any kind of genuine attraction the other person could feel. Is like an invisible stop. Again, at least in my experience. Every time you are trying to generate sexual tension, mistery, rush, with just one look at you, everything is replaced with fear, pity or just gross. Another thing that even stop you to be in the even spectrum of the SM, is the inspirational porn. They see you as an example, but not as a potential partner. And in my experience, is impossible to overcome. They see you like a kid at first, not a sexual person. And when you show your professional & personal capacity, that in my case, is better than almost everyone i have met, you are faced with shame & envy, why as someone disabled, you are better than them.
On my tries, i tried OD, that had a lot of matches with good pics (i can easily get 10 matches a month), and 60% is just curious about the disability, and the other 40% is distributed into validation whores, flakes or people that just put excuses to not meet you in IRL but doesn't say no or un-match, why it looks rude.
On personal approach, i tried social circles, with just excuses as result. even with people that congratulate me with my physical transformation.
Tried some approach at bars, with no success at isolation. Openers where good & started conversation, but when i tried to isolate, there was always an excuse to leave me.
Didn't tried clubs, as my failed tries at bars, but recently went to a weeding. Every time i tried to approach a group of girls to dance, they dispersed immediately. Every comment in the room was how i was an example of life, that god will give me a lot of life, bla bla, for dancing even disabled. Again, i'm an example, not a person nor a sexual entity / possible partner.
Day game haven't tried at all. Is something i still want to try at some point, even if i don't think is gonna be different.
Good Side Effects: IDGAF
My social anxiety in terms of women is completely gone. i can approach anywhere, anyone, even if is a 10HB (done it already). IDGAF at all, at anything. this helped with work too, mostly why i'm less stressed. I see that people is so fragile and breaks with so little things. I faced so many hard things that i feel like a god walking among humans. I'm most of the time in the winners zone. I can do anything and that if women doesn't want to be with me, is their loss. I feel in peace with me, with what i am, and excited to see how much more i can accomplish. I enjoy the company of my friends, i do fun stuff, travel, i love my work, and when i need female company, i pay for it, as i know i don't have any other option anyway. That doesn't stop to me to keep trying, but not as a main goal, just curious to see if i can revert somehow this biological & society ingrained reaction i receive. Plus i'm so happy with my body, proud of it, lifting & eating healthy has become an essential part of my life. I also believe i can "love" more honestly. If i like a women, i'm upfront on it, no covert contracts. Take it or leave it. Not gonna be your friend. Same with friends & family. This are my boundaries. They are not negotiable. This is what i expect from you. This is what you can expect from me. If at some point, our needs are not meet, we can part ways, thanks for all the memories. We had fun. Period.
Bad Side Effects: Suicidal
I have been very close to end it all at the first real and concrete signs that i couldn't revert this result. Remember, i'm someone that comes from the utmost poverty, so my reason for years that women (or people in general) didn't wanted to be with me is that i wasn't enough. so i improved myself every day even before finding TRP (not including the physical aspect). After seeing that be better than all the others, wasn't enough, put me in a very dark place. I could get out from this with the help of my mom that supported me, and improving my IDGAF. My meaning in life, is just live & have fun. I make good money in the meantime, i enjoy things, done. If i don't enjoy something, i remove myself from the situation and reflect. Nothing else. I can't tell you that this is going to help you to be out from this mindset or even if it worth the effort. I believe there are a lot of thing to live for, like trying, doing and seeing new things, but if that is enough, is up to you.
Palliative Care: Hookers GFE
See that i never mentioned abundance mentality in the whole post right? Is why i don't have it. And i believe is impossible to fake it. My outcome independence comes from my IDGAF, and that born from my hard past & rejections, but i don't have abundance mentality why i simply have no proof of someone that has been genuinely interested in me in my whole life. Still, at least, in my case, i don't only have the urge for sex itself, but for real human touch. Even if i internalized that i'm enough, that i'm happy with myself and to not look external validation, if you face rejection every day, is going to affect your sanity at some point. In my case, as a practical solution, i found 2 GFE hookers that has been awesome for me, to use them as a imperfect solution to this urges, where for that time i forget the fact that i'm paying and i get what i want & need. The last one i'm employing, is awesome, why he charges me like for 1hr service, but then she stays with me for 2-3hs more, cuddling, talking, going to jacuzzi etc.. Is not easy to find this kind of professional, but it worth the try. WARNING: the first time you do this, you going to catch feelings. been there, done that. If you have a real outcome independence, it shouldn't happen twice. You will enjoy her during that time & forget about her like you should do with any other non-paid hookup you can have in the future. If you can't do it, you need to still work on yourself more.
My conclusion is that if you have a visible disability, you are fucked. You will be on "hookers support" your whole life or with a 3HB that no ones wants to touch. Of course, this is not really a motivation to hit the gym, or improve yourself at all. And it would never should. But i understand you, if you are disabled, nothing else maybe is enough motivation except this. I'm here just to tell you my experience, and maybe confirm, from my experience, that even if you are better than the others, having frame, status, money, you will never have even enough SMV than the average or below BP. That's the hard truth i experienced.
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Practical guide for the professional success
Published 03/10/19 by disabledtrp [0 Comments]

Dunno why, but on sunday i feel inspired to write something here. Oh well, here it goes.

Let me give you some context about myself, as sustenance of the advice i'm trying to give here (if a fat guy gives you bodybuilding advice you will not follow them right? so, let's put a solid base that i know what i'm talking about).

Past: disabled since born, from a third world country, coming from a extreme poverty economical context.

Present: Still disabled, Business owner, middle class, blue collar formation, speak 3 languages, one of the referents in my industry, managing people and creating value everyday.

In my childhood and teen years, there was no TRP to look for advice, we didn't even had internet in our cellphones yet (56k modems was the best you could get). I lived an 80% of my life dealing with the imminent need of taking decisions about the survival of myself, my family or both (in economical or health terms). I started to work at 11yr old, selling stuff on the streets just to be able to eat. I had to take impossible decisions. So learnt thing like manipulation, frame, negotiation etc.. not only very early, but as a need to survive. I only had one 9 to 5 job in my life and i only lasted 3 months. I built my professional career all by myself.

So, what are the key points to go from point A to point B? That's what this post is about, let's define the main things you need to perfect for your professional success:

FRAME

This is probably the key for everything in life. YOU MUST BUILD A STRONG FRAME.

What is the core of any frame? CONFIDENCE.

How you build confidence? BEING BETTER AT SOMETHING

Until now, i haven't say anything new right? here comes the phrase "Fake it until you make it" And i totally agree. But still, is fucking hard right? let me give you a hand at it:

READ. ASK. LISTEN.

The main problem with this baby boomers beta's or the 35+yr old that just went to high school or college and is in a dead end job divorced or in a dead bedroom, is that they never done anything outside the lifescript or the rutine. Your knowledge is not only very limited but also, useless. LACK IN ABUNDANCE OF KNOWLEDGE LEADS TO A WEAK FRAME. Of course that learning something from 0 takes time, but you can learn small things and data everyday about your surroundings that will help you not only build confidence, but also understand more of what is around you and how you can move in the turbulent waves easily. Get an anecdote from someone you don't know. Ask something interesting about the profession of someone you know (or even better, someone you don't know, like in a business that you are a regular for example). Learn why people does the thing they do, you never know where you can learn the next thing.Learn and explore you surroundings. OBSERVE. Travelling is awesome, but requires a budget. Still, there is probably a lot to discover at a bicycle or public transport distance (for example, i recently found a lake that was in crappy city near me, that no one goes and was a great anecdote of all the hassle to make it there. Something like that would give you enough material for the next social meeting, to start a conversation and ASK & LISTEN MORE.

HOW TO MAKE MONEY

There are 2 main ways to make money, the corporate ladder or the independent path. I can't talk about the corporate ladder much, i know you need formal education for it, and in my case, i couldn't do it at the time and at this point, i know 10 times more than a graduated of engineering, but i just don't have the damn paper to show it. I don't care, i just prove it in the field and DGAF.

But going to the practical part, the ideal scenario to make money as independent, is to just be the best in your industry & area and build rapport. But let's say that you are not the best, you can still make the same or more, if you can compensate in other areas:

SELL: Selling is an art by itself. if you built a very strong frame, selling could be an important add on to your life. You can describe selling as offering a product, but is a lot more than that. Selling is using the product, the context and the timing in your advantage. If you have an unique product, selling could be a bit easier, but if you have competence, you must identify the context and timing factors that could be an advantage for your product and make a selling strategy. Do you sell a service? make it cheaper, better or more accessible. You can't? outsource it and make a small margin whiteout putting time on it. You sell a product? Make it outstanding from the competence. If you have money for branding, do it. Push into the market with another purpose for it (not use, the use could be the same, but the purpose or the meaning could be different). Use social media amateurs to promote, but that are local or very focused to have a controlled ROI. You must always twist the product, the context or the reality itself to outstand. Here is where you are gonna put your machiavellian skill in use. Still, i recommend to lie the minimum at possible or not lie at all. Very few people can keep track of their lies in the long term, and if you are reading this my friend, you are very far from that point for now.

MASTER THE NEW OR THE VERY OLD: Is good to have a general culture of everything, know a bit about the news etc.. but you must master an area, profession or something at some point (the sooner the better). In my case, i mastered the new, all technology based creation of products (software & hardware). But still, mastering the old is a very good idea too. There are a tons of bank servers working on Cobol, a language programming that was invented in the beginning of the computation. You know how hard and how much someone pays for a just a junior willing to learn and do cobol? you will not believe it. This also applied to any other and more manual profession. Do something that there are very few person alive know how to do (and do it well). You can even teach others and multiply, and offering secure working conditions will make them loyal to you too (even on high demand). Be sure to find something you enjoy to do. The rule that to master something takes 10yr, is very true. Don't do something you don't enjoy for money. Doesn't worth your time.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY: With providers, clients, employees, etc.. communication is key. DO NOT LEAVE ANYTHING TO INTERPRETATION. There are 2 reasons for this:

1) Employees and providers doesn't like to think. Is your job to foresee every problem and consequence in the future and in the implementation to do at hand. Of course, you can't see the future. But if you specify everything that needs to be done and what you expect as a result (being ridiculously specific if you can) can avoid 80% of the problems that could come up

2) Clients look for holes to take advantage of you. So, don't leave holes at all. Write everything. In messages, emails, contracts. Even if you agreed something verbally, just send an email to the client with exactly the same content, with an organization excuse and ask for confirmation.

The next kind of communication is that networking is very important. even if it doesn't look like important now, just talk with everyone, and relate with your business, even on non related social gatherings. Doing it at a kids birthday is wrong. Doing at a neighbors meeting or BBQ is good. The best method is to use a funny or interesting anecdote about your business that everyone can understand or even better, have a laugh about it. Unless you are doing networking to make new clients, why you have working capacity that is not being profitable, don't make it a priority. Just integrate it into your everyday social encounter. Go to conferences about your industry when you can, that also helps a lot..

DO NOT STOP. ALWAYS LOOK WAYS TO BUILD WEALTH: This is black pill but at this point, and in the current state of things, i believe that the only real end goal in life is to build wealth. When you can always pay for sex and company very cheap in half of the world, where hypergamy prevent you from the guarantee that an LTR is going to be loyal, where the friends come and go, for money, for partners, for social status etc.. Money is the only asset that you can exchange for everything at this point. Even if you want to pickup girls at bars, you still need the hard cash to do it (to even have the free time and logistics to go out, i don't say to pay for the night). If you mastered something, try to delegate and just control the production/profits. Try a side business. Enter into a new industry. Invest in long term real state. Move to a cheaper country. Investigate about offshore's companies. As much as you can generate, the better. Of course that all work and no fun is going to become hard, but the satisfaction of having a chunk of money in your bank account and that you can go out any weekend, with or whiteout your friends, pay for a VIP girl etc.. That kind of freedom make it all worthwhile.

That's all that comes to my mind really, that i believe are the key points to take in consideration. Still, take it with a grain of salt, like everything in this site. Wish you the best my fellow TRP'ers!

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