Yesterday I actually went out with a woman, and I realised how uselessly submissive I am.

I didn't know where we should go to get food, in the city where I live and she is an immigrant. I didn't know where we should go after getting food. She kept asking me if I'm okay (to which I responded with "yes mum", which I think is not bad, but hardly great).

I'm not disappointed that I didn't get laid, but I'm disappointed with my behaviour.

I post this now so I can look back on it in 5 years and think about how much I have changed.