So I’ve been thinking. All of a sudden I kind of like the idea of writing a blog. I do have some experiences with Red Pill that I can share. Think of it like a Beta AFC’s journey into the rabbit hole. I mean shit, I’ve been into this stuff for a couple of years now and I’ve been soaking it in like a sponge ever since that fateful day when I typed into the google search “Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me?” I’ve run a few tests, mainly with women of course, but also on people. Red pill isn’t just about women for me. It is about mindset. These tests I’ve done have proved that a lot of the red pill theory is real.

When I read “The Rational Male” (or listened to it rather) for the first time, it caused a significant psychic change for me. Similar to when I got sober back in 2007. (More on that some other time.) It was like the concepts I was reading were already familiar to me. I knew this stuff. But I didn’t know I knew this stuff. It turned my world upside down but also became a salvation of wisdom. It changed my life forever, and it couldn’t have come soon enough.

I was raised in a spectacular blue pill fashion. Parents split up when I was eight. Raised by my single mother with my sister. Dad was around but I have recently realized that he didn’t really ever teach me anything. We would just see him on weekends, and when we would see him we didn’t really do much. When Dad left, Ma rented the master bedroom to yet another single mother who of course had a daughter. That was during the time in my youth when I started paying attention to girls. My first crush was during that time. I always thought that being raised by women was like a badge of honor. It turns out it was one of the biggest failures of my upbringing.

Shit man. As I am writing this I’m realizing some of the inner mechanics of my blue pill upbringing.

Her name was Meredith Miller. I was in the fourth grade. She was in my class. She lived two houses down from the school. Waiting for the bus I could see her walk home every day, so I knew she lived there. I my infinite ten year old wisdom I guess I realized one day that I could walk over to her house and get the address from the curb. I would send her these love letters with jewelry or flowers or some shit like that. Keep in mind I was ten years old and a hopeless romantic from the start. She knew who I was. She knew who was sending her stuff. And I never said a word to her. Not once. One day I got a small package in the mail from her. In it was all the letters and all the stuff I had sent her along with a note that said something to the effect of “stop sending me shit”. Needless to say, I was heartbroken.

Every other crush I had in my youth was pretty much the same more or less. Boy meets girl. Boy does an overabundance of nice things for girl. Girl rejects boy. Boy is frustrated beyond belief but still can’t get girl out of his head. Pretty typical story from what I understand. The common thread with all of them, was that they were all just fantasies. Unfortunately, I took this Disney mindset into adulthood.

Now, it’s not like I never had any success with women. I had several relationships from the time I was 17 to now. All but two of them were short term. The short ones were either some crazy bitch, or some bitch that was manipulating me or using me to get what she wants. Of course I was all too eager to oblige because they were willing to touch my peepee every once and a while to get what they want. The two LTRs I’ve had were rife with problems. Sexual frustration being the root of most of these problems, I now realize. There were other problems that I’m not gonna get into because, well, they are pretty damn common in the AFC lifestyle. We know what they are.

I bought the narrative that women were this mysterious, unknowable force of nature. (“Women… I guess we’ll never understand them” Shrug shrug, Chuckle chuckle.) Now just imagine what a tremendous relief is was when I found out that not only was this patently false, but also that I could understand the nature of women to a point where I can navigate it. Not only that, but I can understand my own nature as a heterosexual male to a point where I can navigate myself. I don’t know about you guys, but when I took the red pill I realized I had no idea what a real man was. How could I? There was nobody qualified to teach me this when I was growing up. And there is nobody to blame for this because nobody who had a hand in raising me knew any better. It’s kind of fucked up man. I can tell ya one thing for sure. When Rollo Tomassi introduced me to the concept of the “Average Frustrated Chump”, I fucking KNEW exactly what he was talking about.

This brings me to what is known as “Red Pill Rage”. Yes. I’ve gone through it. I’m not even sure that I’m done going through it. However, I am pretty sure that I am at least at the tail end of it. I recently read a post on The Red Pill sub reddit that was talking about The Five Stages of Red Pill, and how to read r/TRP textposts. It’s a short read but it was a very interesting incite on how to interpret TRP posts. What caught my attention was that the five stages of the red pill were the same as the five stages of grief. I’m not sure where I am in these five stages. I feel like I’ve kind of experienced them all to some degree and in no particular order. The anger and depression stages are the ones that stood out to me the most. Also the acceptance stage but I’ll get to that in a sec. The last year or so has been a steady tumble dry of anger, then depression, then trying to figure out how to fit all this shit into my world. This viscous cycle has gone on an on all year and finally I realized I was repeating the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Truly an example of insanity. The only way out of this is to DO something. Do something drastically different.

Finally I have come to a point where I accept that things are the way they are. I can’t change them, but knowing is half the battle. I can’t change women, but I can know women. I can have the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, now I must muster up the courage to change the things that I can change. The only things that I can change are within myself. I strive to find my power. Rollo Tomassi says that true power is the degree to which you control the course of your own life, and your own choices. This brought me to yet another realization that my situation isn’t hopeless. I just have to grow a harry pair of baby batter glands, get off my ass, crawl out of my hidey hole and DO something… Anything.

That’s where I’ve decided to DO “The Rational Male” book study. It’s certainly not the only thing I’ve decided to do but it is defiantly something where I can do the most good. Don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely doing this for myself. It is the only way I could think of that will get me connected with other Red Pill men so we can all work this shit out together. But in doing this for myself I can also help other men. A tribe of men united by ideas. A tribe of men that change their own world, and in doing so, change the world for everyone else.

If you live in the Santa Clarita, Ca. area and you are familiar with the work of Rollo Tomassi, and interested in being a part of this, send an email to:

9662513235@protonmail.ch

That’s all for now and hey!…Take it eeeasy!