First off, credits to /u/-Anteros- , and /u/IllimitableMan for their help in refining this article.
When different people are asked to connect a set of dots, they will in the absence of further information, do so in the manner that makes most intuitive sense.
Welcome to narratives 101. This class is about reading people, understanding how their cognitive gears turn, and how you can use this knowledge to your advantage. Whether you are attempting to seduce the masses with a rousing speech, or give someone hope when their world looks bleak, your primary task is to understand what they are most receptive to.
Experience, perception, and resilience - these three factors operate in concord to dictate a person's understanding of the world around them : their narrative.
Narrative is a mental model for understanding and defining operative rules, baseline normality, and propriety under varying scenarios. It is a sum of past events that firmly dictates how one perceives present and future events. These develop as one individuates from their forefathers and generates their own set of beliefs and ideals.
It is a compendium of life experiences and lessons, deeply-entrenched beliefs, and the motifs that define them. It is predominantly based off the aforementioned three factors (E,P,R).
Understanding the narratives of others is a skill most revered but easily misunderstood. While not categorically requisite to have suffered another's misfortunes in order to understand them (for example, one does not need to have lost someone to comprehend the anguish involved), similar experience reliably informs you of another point's of view.
Through cognizance of the unique idiosyncrasies that typify an individual it becomes significantly easier to deduce the flavor of direction/motivation that they will respond to.
What is the story-of-their-life?
Underdog seeking to establish a stranglehold in their domain of choice?
Fallen champion seeking redemption?
Confused, meandering dilettante attempting to make sense of a nebulous realm?
Engage them, and encourage them to speak of their dreams. Observe carefully for the matters that compel them to speak with the most zeal. Scrutinize the way they speak of their past failures, their former successes, and their view of the future as it stands to develop. Determine how vociferous they are about things they align with and where the borders are drawn; how staunchly these outposts are defended and how well-founded are the ideals on which these are constructed.
On a more general level, almost everything is based on narrative. How one believes friends should be dealt with, what principles one holds, what sacrifices are deemed admissible in pursuit of a cause, etc. are all opinions and ideas formed over time.
This is important because it plays a large role in determining outlook/attitude towards future events, what we define here, as frame.
Frame is used to describe the mental rectangle that a person imposes over any situation, the boundaries that define the limits of what he will/won’t do/find acceptable.
Almost any conflict comes down to warring frames, determined by narratives that did not reach the same conclusions. If one's standard reaction to being told "You can't do this" is anger (belief - defiance), the set of actions considered is different from what would intuitively occur if the response to that 'contention' was sadness (belief - acceptance). Note that these are simply highly likely interpretations, and are not set in stone. Up to a certain extent, some aspect of this is mental, but your beliefs and ideals can be shaken, questioned and relearned. An abused child can blame himself or the parents for the injustices perpetrated; can tell himself they're not worth it or that they're hisparents and he needs them; become an underconfident wreck or a morally-unhindered narcissist : all depending on the narrative he forms for himself.
As a corollary, frames vary from one issue to another based on your narrative of relevant occurrences to each.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to understand what comprises a person’s lens of the world (their frame), and the story behind how this lens came to prevail over several others (narrative) which will determine their likely future actions. This knowledge can be weaponized against them (play off their greatest fears, prey on their deepest insecurities) or used to bolster them and earn their (likely) undying loyalty.
Empathy then, is the ability to understand another's frame in a situation based off their narrative. Empathy does not necessitate emotional reactions, but accompanies them fairly often.
Ponder this: when you meet someone for the very first time, the frame you present permits others to presumably deduce your narrative, hence holding a dominant and strong frame can invoke ideas of a powerful narrative. Without any evidence to the contrary, first impressions matter insofar as they are the only information available about an individual.
I've planned a series of articles in conjunction with this, and several of you may have questions and counterpoints. Several of these will be pertinent to one among the upcoming articles.
To think about: What happens on TRP? A beta poster cries, bitches, acts like a faggot, and then eventually becomes an alpha. This transformation requires a tremendous change in frame, and sometimes a complete overhaul of their narrative. How does this happen? - will be the focus of the next article.