The red pill claims that the wall exists for women since they in general age worse than men, men peak in value during their 30s and can date younger women in the 20s because they have financial stability, high status, etc. The blue pill thinks this is rare and most w0men date men only a few years older, also most men age equally poorly.

They ridicule kind men who raise someone else's biological kids, risking forming an affection when he has no legal rights. They point to studies that show the risk of cheating and divorce is higher and generally warn against expecting monogamy.

They go so far as to claim women can't love unconditionally.) as men can, women's love for you is opportunistic based on your status, income, strength. Most women in relationships will secretly talk to better men if they approach her. They will also have backup guys in her mind. This is called [monkey branching](www.reddit.com/r/theredpill/comments/adka89/women_are_more_promiscuous_than_men/#:~:text=but%20with%20a%20caveat%20of%20hypergamic%20monkey%20branching%20to%20a%20higher%20value%20male%20if%20the%20opportunity%20presents.

One argument that supports the blue pill idea of cautioning against appealing to the lowest common denominator.) is that the best success in dating happens if you appeal very strongly [to some people](youtu.be/qlnwa_hoz4w?t=572, even if this makes you less appealing to most people — that is, if you adopt a niche marketing strategy in the dating world. Like, be openly goth, an anime fan, etc. Most people won't like you but the people who like you will like you a lot and relate. It also helps to appear approachable, in their league.

But these niche markets don't overlap, there are many traits that will consecutively shrink this pool. So it is not smart to be polarized in multiple dimensions. Also, many of the important traits are not stuff that the niche markets run not, there is almost no market for short, insecure, poor guys. The girls who like short guys are not also likely to be ok with poor, unfunny, lazy guys, etc. A girl might dig an introvert but will she also like short fat dudes? This is why it is best to try to improve the major flaws you have and not lean into them.

There are a lot more ideas - shit tests, hypergamy.), [Cock Carousel](www.reddit.com/r/theredpill/comments/2y1xxh/continue_improving_yourself_but_let_go_of_the/#:~:text=all%20those%20girls%20that%20rode%20the%20so%20called%20cock%20carousel, DEER, and rationalization, in the red pill community worth expounding on but this is the general direction of their thoughts. I think overall it has a lot of interesting ideas but attracts a ton of angry men who vent which gives this community a bad name.

Black Pill

This pill is not as popular but it is worth mentioning because it can be useful to adopt this framework in certain rare situations. The black pill community focuses on genetics and other externalities like face structure, race, skin color, hairline as the primary reason they get rejected/others get accepted.

A concept they use is SUBFIVE - the major disqualifiers

Short Ugly face Bald Fat Income Vulnerable (age is too old) Ethnicity

While the red pill claims to deal with uncomfortable truths, it still tends to ignore aspects of attraction that are out of our control. In fact, the black pill tends to be the one that tries to cater to the group of people that are struggling/have given up even after trying red pill ideas.

The first benefit of this ideology is that when dealing with failure, these ideas can be used to externalize the cause. This prevents a lot of pain. The red pill internalizes the causes for rejection and accepts the responsibility to change and fix things. But that needs strength, sometimes it is better to at least for some time stop blaming yourself.

There are nuggets of truth here because women rarely if ever date/marry anyone shorter than them. This is a harsh black pill for a lot of guys. A lot of skills, personality, even weight have genetic components which we should acknowledge. It is insensitive to expect these things are as easy as flipping a switch. It is also cruel to offer false hope to some people, maybe it is better for them to give up.

A lot of men find it hard to relate to women complaining about being objectified, they don't realize the amount of pressure they face to look pretty. How aspects of their appearance are constantly judged and they are made to feel like have fundamental shortcomings. Any man who follows some black pill YouTubers will quickly hear about the negative canthal tilt.), close-set eyes, jawline, balding hairline - [Norwood scale](www.forhims.com/blog/norwood-scale-stages-hair-loss#:~:text=the%20higher%20the%20number%20is%20on%20the%20norwood%20scale%2c%20the%20more%20advanced%20the%20man%e2%80%99s%20hair%20loss, etc. This will quickly enable you to empathize with women.

Genetics is often ignored because it is not under the control of the individual, you work with what you have. So both red and blue pills don't consider it seriously, maybe this is for the better because it is useless/counterproductive to focus on aspects outside your control. But you can choose what genes your children get by picking the right partner. Black pill also treats surgery as an acceptable solution which can be problematic.

Most of you will agree that all three pills talk about useful traits, the only difference is what you think the priority order is, what the dealbreakers are. That is something well-designed studies should be able to answer.

Just like how some types of feminism frames women's interests to be at odds with men's interests. The red pill ideas also frame the dating game as something competitive/combative. The healthy traditionalist view would be to see it as a partnership where the sum is greater than the parts, a win-win situation. But with FDS and Red pill ideas growing, both genders are trying to exploit biological loopholes for selfish reasons. This is why I see a Gender War brewing and aptly used that title.

Yes, I cherry-picked the good stuff from all these pills. The is a lot of hypocrisy, a lot of women-hating in these online communities and unless we can offer a non-toxic alternative to just the blue pill, lots of hurt young men with low self-esteem will gravitate towards these ideologies and the consequences of that won't be pretty. The irony here is that the simps and male feminists are often the very people who accept that they are "betas" and embrace this community later in life.

Everything needs a balance - the Red pill pushes you to grow. With the Blue pill, you can be optimistic and set ideals, the Black pill helps you deal with externalities in a pessimistic way. There are other pills too, the purple pill is a place for red and blue pill people to debate each other, it can also be used for people who acknowledge the red pill is kinda true but still choose to act the blue pill way.

The reason I spent all this time writing this is because of my frustration with the status quo which allows men to think it is ok to be complacent. Men deserve to know the truth, what is holding them back from getting that human touch. TRP gave me additional motivation to work towards improving myself, but I wish my fellow brothers get the help they need **ear

The red pill claims that women have hot sex with these alpha men and enjoy/party in their youth when they are in their prime. They then turn to beta men to raise kids, weaponize sex, have kids, and settle down around the mid-30s. This [dual mating strategy](en.wikipedia.org/wiki/strategic_pluralism#experiments_and_studies) is often used to explain female behavior.

When it comes to relationships they point out that the first and the hardest filter is to develop that "chemistry", "spark", "sexual tension", and attraction. The blue pill does nothing to help with that. Some people just naturally have "game" and they win, others are not told how to improve, blue pill explains "nothing is wrong with you", everyone is unique and has different tastes, we can't generalize what an entire gender wants, or even the subset of that gender that you find attractive. It is just a matter of compatibility, don't feel bad.

What is this game? game is all these implicit behaviors of attractive people. Some guys naturally exude confidence, suave, they are funny, witty, and charismatic. They know when to be a gentleman, be romantic and show chivalry but he also has a backbone to stand up for what he believes in. My PUA article goes into detail, but "game" is something that works, the only question is can it be learned, and is it ethical to fake it? How long can you fake it? If you apply game and internalize it, won't it become naturally a part of you?

The Red pill is brutal, it tells you that there are a lot of things wrong with you and that is indeed why you are lonely, alone, and rejected. It gives a lot of practical advice like go to the gym and lift. That helps with natural confidence, lower body fat, improved physique, it has the best return on investment ratio. The blue pill rarely makes it clear just how important these things are.

The Red pill tells men that women scorn weakness, it turns them off to see you vulnerable. Even to her, in private you should be careful how often you show your emotions and fragility. Their advice extends beyond crossing the first filter of creating that "spark", also on how to maintain a "healthy" relationship where your partner is still sexually aroused by you and not likely to cheat. You need to be careful to maintain "frame" all the time. Frame is the idea that you should be a source of strength, able to maintain level-headedness in moments of crisis, be stoic, not let emotions control your reaction. Blue pill acknowledges that people lose interest in each other over time and condones separation/divorce, this hurts the stability of long-term unions.

Red pill claims that women take your attention for granted if you give it freely, you are then not valued and appear to be cheap. It is also more masculine to have a purpose beyond her, to be busy with other stuff, and not make her the number one priority of your life. Respect from you should be earned, don't simp for women just because they are beautiful. They push a very transactional, pavlov training like advice where you weaponize attention like how women weaponize sex. They tell you to be caring and kind in response to "good behavior", whatever that may be for you. Some of the advice might suddenly look manipulative/toxic like push and pull when it is intentional and premeditated. The red pill advises men not to be "boring", they explain that women like the emotional highs and lows. So the cocky, asshole behavior which the blue pill considers a dealbreaker is condoned in a planned way.

The red pill is just a set of tools used by many types of people, some decide the risks are not worth any sort of relationship while others decide to marry and raise kids. The ideology itself makes a strong case that sexual strategy is ammoral, that even socially acceptable mating strategies exploit psychology.

Red pill ridicules the idea of explicit consent, maybe once in a while sure, but warns against asking for constant affirmation and treating women like they are fragile things. They believe most women want to be ravaged/dominated. Most of the flirting and sexual play that happens is based on implicit communication. Consent is supposed to be signaled by body language and it is refusal which is supposed to be explicit not approval. The blue pill puts the burden on men to obtain enthusiastic consent while the red pill puts the burden on women to refuse consent. This is problematic since some women find it hard to refuse and ask men to understand that and ensure she is enthusiastic about the sexual act, while other women might enjoy seeing their partner desire her uncontrollably and not have the self-control to ask permission.

The red pill tells men there is no special girl out there, they think this obsession with any one girl is unhealthy and label it Oneitis. When you are having an infatuation, you are not rational.). You are blind to her many flaws, she feels like the one. This leads to desperation, "creepy" behavior, being clingy, needy, and possessive all of which drives the girl away. Red pill tells men that no one is special and there are lots of options. They ask you to maintain an abundance mindset

The red pill is unashamed about trying hard, if you want to succeed then practice approaching girls, talk to them, work on yourself, make money, dress well, put yourself in places where you are likely to meet the kind of girls you want, shrug away rejections, etc. The blue pill allows for minimal "best foot forward" behaviors, makeup is fine, clean your room when she visits, put on good clothes but the red pill goes the whole way. The red pill does not believe in fate, they believe in free will and that they can optimize their future. The blue pill narrative frames individuals as these "perfectly flawed" beings that someone out there will love and accept.

The red pill is a big proponent of confidence but unlike the blue pill, they give good advice on how to cultivate it, by perfecting your craft, finding a hobby, earning money, gaining respect from society, treating your body like a temple. The red pill tells men to face failure, to voluntarily expose themselves to the very thing they fear the most - rejection from someone they love and admire.

Blue pill tells men that women don't dress pretty to attract men or get attention. Red pill explains that the beauty trends women follow are shaped by what succeeds in the dating market. It is a rare few who are making art with their bodies. Most women feel an intense pressure to conform and resort to push-up bras, hip pads, makeup, plastic surgery, shows skin, etc.

The red pill makes it clear that the advice women give on dating cannot be trusted. They care too much about appearing virtuous. They allege actions are the best indicator of true beliefs and words are not to be trusted. The red pill asks men to learn from other men who are successful at dating and to assume women have successfully deceived themselves regarding dating.

The red pill is harsh on women too, they are ranked according to attractiveness. Men are told to have standards, just like women have preferences for tall, rich, competent men. We can't control our height, it is mostly genes but a women's weight reflects her self-discipline to exercise, diet, and genes. The bar for a long-term relationship is kept even higher and the community encourages men to disqualify promiscuous women and single mothers.

The blue pill is sex-positive and encourages girls to explore their sexuality, have fun sleeping around. The red pill community embraces slut-shaming openly mainly because it consists of guys who are not able to take advantage of the liberalized sexual marketplace.

Dating and romantic love the way we see happening nowadays is relatively a new phenomenon. People did not marry because they were in love, some of them fell in love after the fact, others had affairs that were more based on lust than any deep understanding, trust, and mutual respect that takes time to develop.

When dating becomes the most common way to access sexual and emotional intimacy from the opposite gender, people end up gauging strangers they see to check if they are suitable to be potential partners to decide if they should approach, to set the context for the interaction. This pressure increases the amount of sexualization, objectification (beauty or success objects), image crafting that people perform daily.

So in order to compete against other members of your gender, we need to have an accurate idea about what makes you an attractive high-value human that most people want to date, marry, or fuck. Depending on what your goals are, you might need to work on different aspects of yourself and grow.

But human attraction is a difficult nuanced topic, we have people who like dark-skinned, dusky guys, others who like light-skinned guys. We have people who like slim, thin girls, others like thick, chunky girls. Some people like shy, introverted girls, others like extroverted girls.

We can't give up so easily, there are exceptions but broadly there are enough similarities among all girls/guys that some traits will more likely than not help you. Even your friend who likes to dress comfortably will admit they admire well-dressed people. Communication skills, controlling emotions like anger in a mature way, empathy, confidence, there is a long list of traits that almost everyone would love/find sexy in their partner. But other than general traits that are attractive in either gender, the question is are there traits that are attractive only in one gender?

Right now there are different forces pushing us to grow. We have ambitions regarding an improved quality of life for our loved ones, fame & respect from society, leaving a legacy, moving closer to an ideal human. It is important for some of us to incorporate "attraction to the opposite gender" and let it inform and motivate the direction of growth.

Ok first let me discuss the female perspective. We are bombarded with ideas of what femininity is, actresses, models define the mainstream view of beauty. Girls put in real effort, both time and money to look attractive and attract men. There are makeup tutorials, lots of fashionable clothes are sold, and overall they have an easier time attracting men since it is basically genetics and exercise. Women seem to be in touch with their emotions, most of them naturally act feminine when they are around men they like. Men are also mostly unashamed to admit what their type is, how shallow their tastes are, so this serves in women having an accurate image of what the current beauty ideals are.

In the case of men, the three pills are three different perspectives on what makes a man attractive to most women. Sometimes these pills contradict each other but I think all three are valuable insights into what makes a man attractive to women.

Blue Pill

A lot of us grew up watching Disney movies, listening to pop music by artists like Taylor Swift, reading romance books, listening to our mothers and female friends. We believed in the importance of personality, especially since the narrative was that women are not as visual/shallow as men are, so guys with a great personality have a good chance. The blue pill is the mainstream view of what men should aspire to attain in order to be a high-value man that women will love.

The ideas in the blue pill are familiar to us, men should be vulnerable and not be afraid to show their emotions. Men should be caring, kind, listen to and respect women. It is sexy when men ask for explicit consent when escalating during sexual acts. When courting a girl, give her tons of attention, buy her gifts, spoil her, reply quickly and at length to her messages, always be there for her, make her your priority, let her set boundaries, and respect them.

It might seem like I am strawmanning, but the blue pill is amorphous and is in this general direction. Most humans have a nuanced view on these things and no one is fully blue pilled.

The blue pill teaches us there is a special partner out there for us, she is special, the one. The blue pill discourages men trying to grow/change, they frame it as deceptive to try to become more attractive. They tell men to just be themselves and keep searching, not in an active way rather real love happens when you meet her organically, in a serendipitous fashion. You will find someone who values you for who you are, in spite of all your flaws. Don't try hard, don't play games. Just be your authentic self. Be positive, confident.

There is a lot of mixed messaging, blue pill tells men not to be creeps. This makes guys scared of approaching strangers and making an advance. They need to know if the girl finds them attractive enough in advance before they can make a move. They will only improve their approach with practice but the consequences of shame make cold approaches not worth it for blue pilled guys. The blue pill also tells men to take advice from females in his life, that girls know what other girls like.

The blue pill tells men to not be shallow and judge girls based on weight, sexual history, having someone else's kid. The idea of objective beauty is attacked and subjective aspects of beauty are focused on as the major part. They underplay the importance of sex in a relationship and frame the important components as companionship, friendship. Sexual intimacy is not to be expected or demanded in a relationship, it is freely given.

All these ideas are beautiful, great ideals. There is a lot of truth in this especially when it comes to maintaining a healthy long-term relationship. But people struggle when they apply these ideas to initially attract a partner and start a relationship. Also with the risk of a costly divorce rising, a lot of men are shunning long-term commitment. These ideals are not that useful if you just want casual sex.

There are guys who seem to naturally be successful in the dating market and other guys wonder what makes them special. The other two pills are the result of men discussing this paradox where they see guys with good personalities remain single while the assholes/jerks seem to get girlfriends who put up with their flaws.

Red Pill

This is the most famous pill, used as the title for this great MRA documentary. But I am not delving into the manosphere in this post, with the subcultures of incel, MGTOW, pua, and MRA's. No, let me contrast Red pill ideas with the Blue Pill ideas and tell you what people in this online community have to say about what makes a man attractive to most women. They attempt to deconstruct the psycho-biological mating strategies hardwired into our brains.

People come across these ideas from their cocky roommates/collegemates, gym buddies, online forums, youtube, and TikTok. Friends who are in loving relationships usually don't tell you this, rather guys who are just having fun in a sexually liberated society concur with these ideas. These ideas are censored and shamed which leads to people searching them out.

The Red pill markets itself as the uncomfortable truth where the Blue pill is the comfortable lies we tell ourselves. The red pill is not afraid to be politically incorrect. The Red pill acknowledges *gasp* that women are animals like men and have preferences, they do care about masculinity and find that attractive. They use the word alpha/chad for this archetypal man that women find attractive especially during peak fertility. It claims that the blue pill underplays how important looks are to women.