Anyone else has/had a mental block about ejaculating in/on women?

I just don't get why i have this but i have this for as long as i can remember. I also never ejaculate with the "purpose" of getting my cum on/in the woman but rather it feels like something completely outside of my control (like a sneeze), even something i actively try NOT to do (like holding in a fart in a library). As in i could ejaculate literally anywhere BUT on a woman.

When i ejaculate it feels like i am getting rid of something, instead of using a function of my body with a purpose.

Looking deeper i only get aroused by the though of "ejaculating", not be the thought of "ejaculating on a woman".

Any guy has some insights?

@NeoSpartan no, it's not enough of an encouragement. as i was replying to another user, i get this mental and physical block exactly before and during ejaculation, regardless if i last 3 min or 30 min and i am a sex god.

@jprdl I get this issue even if i last 3 min and sex was bad or 30 min and i was a sex god.

The particular moment right before ejaculation triggers this blockage

Might be stupid but i have a very specific issue. It's about being unable to ejaculate on/in a woman without having her "blessing" or encouragement. It is weirder than that in that i do physically ejaculate regardless but my whole body fights against it for some reason. It's like if i am not sure that she wants it and that she enjoys is, i must not do it.

Anyone else has had this problem?