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disabledtrp's Blog
Best birthday present: yourself first
Published 03/02/19 by disabledtrp [0 Comments]
Hi fellow trper's!
i will use this as was intended to, as a personal blog, just why sometimes i feel inspired to write something and this is just easy to use.

My birthday was a week ago aprox. Reached 30 yrs old. It was a rough roller coaster so far, but we made it alive and that it what it counts. I purposely planned a several weeks travel to not even be at my home country at the date. The main reason for it was to "fix" all the mistakes i made last year.

Even before founding TRP, let's say that i was sort of TRP aware-ish. Life bullied me so much since born, that i was always driven to be better, to not trust anyone, and use any medium to improve, in every aspect, disregarding any moral breaking action that would needed to be taken. After the death of a very close relative to me, i went in an introspection phase, where i tried to find a different answer from what i knew. Of course, in the end i went back to my old ways, as you can describe it, the TRP ways. But in that introspection, i tried to make "real" friends, with women and men alike, and even with relatives that i never had a connection with. Invested a lot of time and money on it (last year was the first and only birthday i celebrated with people except myself and my parents), but of course this only ended with disappointments at the very first sign that i demanded an "equal" and reciprocated relationship. Seeing that this was the results of my efforts, that showing my weak and honest side only bring me the opposite i wanted, i slowly went silent with all this people.

Then the big day has come. I got a couple of lousy happy birthday on FB and not even a single phone call or meaningful congratulations in any type. Of course, they where all "offended" why i stopped paying attention and validation like a lap dog and they all knew due to my work i could have easily be at my home country throwing a big party for everyone, but i choose to be with myself, i paid for a really nice breakfast and lunch in front of a very nice lake, meet new people, new places, had a blast just joking with anyone that i meet in the middle of the day and of course, a really nice 9HB escort to make me company for the night (see my tinder post why this was the selected option).

Can't complain really. The best present was just to confirm that i had not made the wrong decision. I tried to find a different answer than TRP, just found more of the same. And the rule that "every man for himself" is more true than ever.

Trust no one. Work in your mission. Enjoy the decline. Yourself first.
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