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FR: Letting Go of the Best Sex of My Life - An Annotated Text Transcript
Published 12/15/16 by hoodrich [4 Comments]

EDIT: Thanks to dr_warlock's comments, I realized that this was not the shit test that I assumed it was, it was actually the girl looking for validation/excuses to leave me and that she already had her mind made up. Here's a post on this: http://www.redpilldoctor.com/by-the-time-youve-had...

I also realized while thinking about the comments in the shower that single root cause of all of my mistakes stemmed from the single biggest mistake I made, which was to be exclusive. /end edit.

To be honest, this is a conversation that probably should have taken place in person, I could have told her to meet me but, in hindsight, I don't think I could have communicated as well in person. This conversation came up a few days after I made her mad by calling her out on trying to play me. It turned out I was probably wrong and I may have misread the situations, but she was still feeling upset about it and dropped a major shit test on me. This is how I handled it. There are lots of examples from the 48 Laws of Power used here and I'll bold them.

== TEXTING TRANSCRIPT [brackets for notes] ==

Her: Did you like seeing me Tuesday?

Me: It seemed a little off in hindsight tbh. Wouldda liked to have more time with you and to talk. What'd you think?

Her: Same. I didn't think I was ready to hop back in like that right away. I should have communicated better before I came over. [She was acting differently because she was still mad. She was probably talking to her friends and turning me into a bad guy. We had sex when she came to my place and this text was pretty scary to read at first because I was afraid she was going to turn consensual sex into a rape accusation.]

Me: What do you want to do now? What are you feeling? This is a weird situation. [This text was very important. My gut reaction was to apologize and I almost did. That would imply and affirm to her that I had did something wrong, and I hadn't.]

Her: I agree it's weird. We had a fight ish thing and then just kinda never fully resolved. I'm definitely not feeling as sure as I was before. I saw a side of you that I hadn't seen before and you said things that made me second guess this and also feel shitty. I bring a lot of my own baggage to this. But even after we talked about what you said when you were drunk, you said maybe you chose to make this exclusive too soon. [I shouldn't have said this to her and I also should not have been the one to offer exclusivity (Law 20 - Do not commit to anyone). I was getting some of the best sex of my life daily from this woman. That was also probably a mistake, I gave her too much of my time and too much access (Law 16 - Use absence to increase respect and honor). Good sex clouded my judgement.]

Her: I like you and I felt excited about this bc it seemed like you liked me a lot. I felt good about this and didn't doubt that you wanted me around. It wasn't just for sex it was because you liked me. And now I'm questioning it and it feels like you resented me last week. I'm sorry I'm blowing up your phone. I wanted to have this talk in person. [I do/did very much enjoy this woman's company. Was hard to let her go.]

Me: It's not just about the sex for me, I enjoy your company too and you're special to me because of that, that's why I have my little crush. I liked when we cooked together and I like cooking and eating with you. I like that I can be goofy with you and cuddle too. [These types of activities were all things I'd do with her after sex, sometimes before, because she was taking good care of me and I wanted to reward and encourage that. Daily access may have been too much in hindsight. I think these behaviors I showed her were what made her think she could pull off her power play on me. I'm not sure if my honesty and openness with her (Law 12 - Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim) was a strength or a weakness yet, but this definitely did help later on in the conversation.]

Me: Working out with you was awesome too even though all I did was complain.. lol. That was quality time to me. [I told her I'd try her workout routine and we did. It was a retarded routine.]

Her: I guess I just need to back things up a little bit. Like I know you wanted to have sex on Friday but for everything to go the way it did and then within 15 min of us being alone on Tuesday we had to have sex. It just seemed like that's all you were waiting for.

Me: Sex is something I need but it's not the only thing. I apologize for being blunt but girls who just wanna have sex are common and easily available. A girl like you who I care about and want to spend time with is rare.

Her: Yeah I can find someone who wants to fuck easily too but idk I just need to move back a couple steps. Build up those feelings again bc I'm not feeling them like I used to

Me: What do you want and what do you need? [The following texts, and arguably the earlier ones also, demonstrate (Law 24 - Play the perfect courtier). I did this to lay out my logic in a way where when her friends or anyone else read these texts, they would see me advocating for both of our best interests.]

Her: I want to spend some non sexual time with you bc I need to feel that sureness again. At least try. [This was rich because on our first date I was making out with her, kissing/sucking her tits/nipples, and had my hands down her pants on the roof of my apartment building within 2 hours of meeting her. This was her way of trying to "punish" me for making her upset and trying to force me to "win" her back. A major shit test.]

Her: I know I bring baggage to this but I don't want to give up on this so soon. What about you?

Me: I'd still like you to be a part of my life too. I respect that you need nonsexual time and I'm happy to give that to you. The thing I'm worried about is that I still have to have my needs met and obviously I'm going to have to turn to someone else for that. Is that going to be a problem for you? [This part is where I start to turn the tables by transforming her perceived weakness of mine into power (Law 22 - Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power). This was also a setup to control her options (Law 31 - Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal) which were now 2: first, she could be exclusive to me but I would no longer be exclusive to her (my ideal) or second, we would break up.]

Her: Sounds like we shouldn't be exclusive anymore. Maybe we go back to the beginning if we can? Idk that makes me sad but if that's what you need to do then that's what there is.

Me: I can't do that. I'm a jealous man. If you were some random girl I could do that but since I have a crush on you it would hurt me to know you're with other guys. That's why I offered to be exclusive so soon. And I know it's not fair but I'm being perfectly honest about how I feel and what I need because I respect you and I want to work this out if we can or move on if we can't without playing games. [More vaginal terms to present the ultimatum (Law 31) in the most diplomatic way possible (Law 24). This was my plan all along once I got her 4th text and realized what she was trying to do (Law 29 - Plan all the way to the end). I'm tossing in (Law 48 - Assume Formlessness) because there's no way she saw this coming when she tried to drop that nuclear shit test on me.]

Her: How do you think it feels to put this out there and have you ask me if I'd be ok with you being with someone else? It's ok for you but not for me? [It was tempting to respond to her weak bait here and retort with "how do you think I feel when you tell me you don't want to make love with me anymore?" but I stuck with my plan and just ignored the bait.]

Me: This whole conversation is hard and uncomfortable. I know it's not fair but like I said, I'm just being honest with you about how I feel and what I need. If our feelings and needs are incompatible now then it's best for us to move on. I don't want your feelings to be hurt and I don't want your needs to go unmet just as much as I don't want my feelings to be hurt or my needs to go unmet. [This is where I, sadly, realized I was gunna lose her. For now at least.]

Her: This fucking sucks

Me: This sucks for me too, , but it will be a lot worse if we don't talk it out first. It wouldn't be healthy or smart for us to commit to a situation where one or both of us are suffering emotionally or living without our needs met. [More vaginal terms here. Trying to demonstrate that I care about both of our best interests because I actually do. I want this break up to go as smooth as friendly as possible so she could potentially try to come back to me later cuz I really like her.]

Her: Ok I get that but I'm not going to be ok w you fucking someone else while we consciously try to work on this relationship. That's like the opposite to me. [Totally contradicts what she said earlier but I don't point it out. (Law 24)]

Me: I totally understand that and I respect that. I feel the same way. I have to look out for my needs though.

Her: So this is it then?

Me: I don't think it's fair or respectful for me to ask you for a time line on when we can make love together again. I also don't think it's fair for me to neglect my own needs for an indefinite amount of time.

Her: Fuck this makes me sad but I don't see a way around it

Me: I'm sad too I really like you.

Her: If I just hop back into things it won't work for me. I don't feel the same about the physical part. Just talking with you felt great and the minute it wa [sic, I dunno what happened here if it was a technical problem or if she accidentally sent it early and said "fuck it"]

Me: I don't think I got your whole text, it cut off in the middle of a word


This was all exactly a week ago now. I've lost two of the girls I used to fuck by cutting them off while I was exclusive with this girl (about two months). I have one left that I've been seeing and I have six dates lined up for the next couple of days to try to get some new girls and move on. I've had one other scenario like this happen before and the girl came back to me about 2-3 months later. I'm hoping it will happen that way again with this girl. I won't be the one to contact her first though, of course.

I hope there's some good points that some newer people can take away from this and if you have any criticism or suggestions on how I could have handled this better, please let me know.

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Comment by hoodrich on 12/15/16 09:38pm

Thanks for the comments guys. Dr_warlock, I read your blog post and it makes a lot of sense. I was looking at this as a shit test and I didn't realize she was looking for a reason to leave regardless. Next time my response will be dread game like you recommend. Thanks again.

Comment by RedRum on 12/15/16 07:26pm

You make a lot of good points here (especially pointing out her hypocrisy). She tried so hard to make you a BB and you stuck to your guns. Good right up. Some formatting issues made it clunky to read. Good material here.

Comment by dr_warlock on 12/15/16 06:38pm

Can't edit my first comment, but need to emphasize the horrendous amount of long winded feelz garbage you added to the mix. It's weak and you're only feeding her the ammo she needs, the validation craving she desires. Don't do this.

Comment by dr_warlock on 12/15/16 06:35pm

I didn't read most of it because one thing is clearly apparent, you're having long winded conversations over text.

2) You're having the 'state of the relationship' talk

3) You're doing #2 over text

4) You became exclusive


She already wants out but wants you to validate her desire, 'closure'. [Mandatory Reading(http://www.redpilldoctor.com/by-the-time-youve-had-the-talk-shes-already-packed-and-planned-her-exit/)


Never let a woman have a monopoly on your sexual access because exclusivity forces you to compromise with her erratic emotions, she knows it, and WILL weaponize that. Always keep women on the side.

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