I understand that women aren’t going to make my life feel complete, and it’s up to me to be satisfied with myself and love myself and no woman will do that for me, I can’t rely on women for anything. I’ve lacked intimacy with women my entire life, I’ve never been in a real relationship with one, but it would be nice to have some intimacy with a women, it would be nice to fuck a woman’s brains out and make her my bitch. I’ve always been one to approach women and ask for numbers plenty of times, whether it’s on a college field trip, at the gym, in the Apple store when I’m getting my phone fixed, on campus, etc looking back, I’ve always thrived in social situations, I was the fun guy to be around, made people laugh, good vibes etc. Party animal who was very social and outgoing and just wanted to have a good time. I was so blind to all the women I was pulling who were interested in me and now I fucking realize it. Basically what I’m trying to say is, I have all of these bullshit illusions in my head that fucked with me, not being masculine enough, feeling inferior to other people, I don’t fucking know. I need to beat these and realize it’s not true, none of it is true. I have good goals, I go to the gym, have been going for a while, I have a good paying job, my life is headed in the right direction when I think about it But I also think about how I need to start feeling more comfortable in my own skin, No one is going to do that for me, no matter if I go and get a Rolex and a Lamborghini, or have plates spinning left and right, I understand it’s up to me, to feel good internally, and it can’t come from anything external like a nice car or hot women. Sorry if this post is long and all over the place, my mind is scrambled and I’m just trying to figure everything out and fix my brain to function as best as possible, At this point in my life, I feel like I haven’t fully beat my traumas and it’s really affected me in all aspects of life. When I went to college, I would approach women all the time, and to be realistic? Well I’ve pulled a lot of women in my life, The thing that I’m not happy about is having mental blocks with them, I think it had to do with not seeing myself sexually and as a masculine man. When I try and think back in my life and traumas that may have caused mental blocks and negative fake illusions in my head, I believe I developed an inferiority complex due to being heavily bullied in school, Couple that with a very heavy pornography addiction? Well that doesn’t make for a good combo. I remember back in 2009, when I was around 11 years old, I would tell myself literally that women don’t want me and I’m not enough for women. Then again? I pulled a lot of women, I had a lot of women interested, it’s just an illusion I created in my head, there were mental blocks I had from escalating with them in every situation I was in where I had to escalate, I understand the past is the past, I can work on myself and move forward with full confidence and meet a ton of women and actually escalate with them. Any response/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all.

Idk how else to put this but Basically after learning about the sexual dynamics of women and hypergamy and after watching lots of interracial porn and seeing all of the things said online about black men and their sexuality and knowing there is sick communities based on getting cucked and being inferior to black men, I watched a lot of interracial porn and feel like my masculinity was robbed from me, like I won’t be able to be in the position of the alpha that women deeply desire to submit to, And that I am inferior to black men and they are sexually superior and are craved by women and I feel like I can’t be comfortable with my sexuality and my masculinity and it’s really fucked with me and my head. I just want to be the alpha that women want to submit to and I know I can be and it’s all In my own head but this is the shit I’m going through right now. I have a lot of shame in the interracial porn I watched and watching videos of black men masturbating and getting of to it and telling Myself It would be the last time doing it but I would go back and do it again and again. This is the only community in the internet that is real and doesn’t sugarcoat and tells it how it is, everyone else is blue pulled and doesn’t know about hypergamy and women wanting an alpha male and all that shit. I feel dissappointed and disgusted and ashamed of myself. Like instead of fulfilling a sex life, I watched interracial porn and got off to it again and again and watched videos of black men masturbating and feel ashamed as if like “what if women knew about this” And it makes me feel insecure knowing all of the stereotypes out there about black men and their sexuality and reading all of the bullshit about them being the superior race and being better in bed and make me feel like I’m inadequate and don’t deserve sex or intimacy. What the fuck is wrong with me and my brain?’ I think I watched way too much porn. But then again it bothers me because it makes me feel like I’m not a real man when black men are and we all know how women work and hypergamy and shit like that. It makes me feel fucking horrible

I need to get laid I’m at a log of mental distress right now I’ve never felt this stressed out It really pisses me off and irritates me that I’m not getting laid right now I feel like I have mental blocks and illusions In my head I need to fix because sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough when I haven’t had any problems with attracting women in the past But I’ve felt insecure and felt unworthy and was unable to move forward sexual with women and that really kissed ne off I had a lot of great opportunities with women But I felt inferior and unworthy and I fucking hate it so much I’ve had traumas as a kid I was heavily bullied from 5 years old and i think it really affected me My whole life I’ve felt this way I also had a very heavy porn addiction I want to feel happy I want to feel good I have goals and I’m doing everything I can to accomplish them I’m ashamed of some things from the past including my sexuality from watching so much porn and not having any sex From age 14 I watched a lot of interracial porn and it really fucked with my head I guess I need to let go from the past and move forward understanding I’m good enough for everything in the world and I’m way too in my head