@IHateNames if she can't leave you alone when you're working, she needs to go
@IHateNames if she can't leave you alone when you're working, she needs to go
Should add she took the delay as me purposely ignoring her. I'm just busy.
My LTR got very pissy today when I took too long to respond to her when I was on break (10 minutes). She knows that I have a project deadline soon and I've been working nonstop on that. So she started ignoring me, great peace and quiet.
I feel like she's hindering my mission and goals. Constantly starting fights when the focus isn't on her.
Dealing with her is more stressful than dealing with this possibly life changing project.
I'm at loss on how to deal with this and honestly considering breaking it off. This has been ongoing for a while.
Don't know why I'm posting here, I'm just at my wits end. Yes I have oneitis. Maybe some of the older guys can knock some sense into me
@IHateNames in addition to what @adam-l already said, the only things a man really can do in an LTR is remove one or more of the following: attention, affection, commitment.
depending on the severity of the offense (and how entangled you are with her), you may want to next the bitch completely, or just withdraw your attention and affection for a while.
This is not a time to revert to blue pill conditioning and cOmMuNiCaTe YoUr FeElInGs.
Devest.
You can maybe give her one off and don't break up immediately, but you can't have a LTR where you do the maintaining. You did overt communication once, didn't work, it's time for covert communication from here on.
You should be maintaining other options anyway. "The glass is already broken".
The pro move would be to demote her to plate, but not many men can do that with a LTR.
Guys, what do you do in a LTR where the girl does exactly what you said she can never do just because she's pissed off.
I pretty sure I explained this as a boundary
@Antelope yeah I get all that. It was definitely a gradual thing and I got comfortable.
My main concern is how much I'm preoccupied by how how she's feeling rather than what I want.
I have been doing some self reflection. I definitely have codependency tendencies.
For example when my LTR and i started seeing each other it eventually became her at my place every single night and went weeks without sleeping at her home.
Then for one night I have important things to focus on after work so I told her in the morning I wanted her to go home tonight. I became incredibly worried about how she was feeling and how she took it. She became distant during the day which made these feelings worse. I was more worried about her than I was relieved I could just focus on the work I needed to do.
Is this a lack of frame or codependency? Or both? How would you manage this going forward? I feel like I need to reread the sidebar.
And I know I should have so much going on that I shouldn't always have time to lay around but I am working on that.
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