@Antelope I’m in Australia. The worst part is the level of braindead retardation in my peers. The same people who went to the balck looters matter protests, shouting ACAB etc, are now bragging about snitching out anyone they find out who went to the protests. Ive tried talking to some of them to understand their point of view, and honestly it feels like there is none. There is only trauma based auto fed lines. Like one of the anti-protesters agreed with my points right up until I asked (paraphrasing) “So is it ok to harrass people who are protesting whats going on?” Its like a switch flipped, I swear to god i saw his face reset, he showed signs of anger and said “yeah these people arent trusting the science, its all justified” Ive got a very close circle keeping me sane but some of my closest friends have gotten vaccinated and when I try to discuss some of the (anti-lockdown etc) points THEY brought up to me last year they dismiss it, change the subject, start being upset and beg to talk about something else, its fucked. The government has retarded a whole generation of 18-30 year olds. While France etc, where protesting I see no hope for this shitty country as there is just too high a concentration of fucking pussies. Excuse the rant, I want to move to mexico.

@Mritsu I wasn't the pain for others. I was referring to Michael Rupert blowing his brains out because he couldn't handle his dark visions. I can relate to him because I was drawn to his book at the bookstore and reading it got me back into researching conspiracies. Later in his life (before he committed suicide) he was in a similar circle in California to one that I had left to live anywhere else but there. I was always telling people things that they didn't want to hear and mapping out their damage while taking the brunt of their fury. This was during a time when it was not yet a proven fact or common knowledge that California was a total piece of shit. I went another path of abandoning that failing civilization to save my life, while Rupert got erroneously sucked into it thinking that it was a solution for him. I thought about writing him after his good interview when he revealed where he was, but what would I have said to him? My vision has long exceeded my ability to affect change, or even to help people. It doesn't work. Someone else can do that. So I've made a peace with my gift that Rupert never did. If I was already wealthy without any more need for money then I would dedicate myself to math, physics and helping people in a very strange sort of way that seems completely insane and delusional on the surface. As a world traveler it is nothing for me to take my bag and to go anywhere regardless of the length or difficulty of the journey. I'm shit at phone sales, so I need to do it in person in order to bedazzle. We have constraints in life so that means letting strangers die, unless that is our true purpose. If you are gifted with vision then It must be made peace with or it will wither and kill you.

About getting out of Basic training, I mean just that. I started the junior college right after high school. I realized that thirteen years of institution right into another many years was super intolerable. I wanted some experience and enough money to keep gas in the tank of my car. As a hard-ass middle class son I was given nothing in terms of allowances. After 12 years of having all of my time dictated to me, save my choice of after school sport, I have zero marketable skills for survival. I was highly resentful. I took the military ASFAB test and got a 93, not a perfect score only because I didn't know a rat's ass about cars or mechanical constructs. If I had of known about cars then I could have perhaps used that for independent survival, but alas just a lot of ideas. So I absolutely destroyed the anti-dyslexia tests. They offered me a $20k starting bonus and station of choice. So I went in. Then one inside they pumped me full of vaccines which caused me to become dog ass sick (along with a Mexican with a similar last name and so adjacent to me) and bleeding out of my sinuses. I felt betrayed since they obviously gave the two of us contiguous people an accidental or purposeful hot dose of whatever-the-fuck it was. In Basic I was doing all of my push-ups and being successfully invisible. That is good. I then decided to get out. They kicked me around for a total two hellish months of making an example out of me and then let me out with an uncharacterized discharge.

What happened is that they destroyed all of the unnecessary parts of my identity, but then never had the access to me to rebuild me in their image. Sure, although rebellious and defiant it sticks on you for a while, but I was merely a half-beaten maggot, not a soldier. Then I reentered junior college with the life experience that I had been desperately looking for to pursue a computer science degree. Since I had been stripped of much of my identity I was able to rebuild myself in the image of something closer to my true self. So I was much wiser and tougher than other 18-19 year old peers from similar backgrounds.

Regarding power, I despise weaklings who believe that others have power over them when they do not. If someone isn't controlling when you can use the toilet, isn't threatening to beat you at will, to torture you, to enslave you, then they don't have shit on you. So yes, I barked at police in a defiant filthy rich kid's manner while my friends shriveled.