Oh my God, I am in so much pain right now. Went out with a girl... We've been friends for a long time. But we've always been kind of more than friends, there was kissing, blowjobs, etc. But this was 2+ years ago, not much sexual happened in a while. She's quite promiscuous. Always has several guys she's seeing, at the same time. I don't mind this. I am interested in getting sexual experience, not in a serious relationship.

Anyway, we were hanging out today. The vibe seemed good throughout. When I started being more physical with friendly touches, she didn't recoil / move away and she actually started doing some touches back. I thought okay cool, let's go for a kiss, but she rejected it.

I cannot even begin to describe the pain I am in right now. This all happened 30 minutes ago, I followed her to the bus station afterwards and she left. Hugged me and said that "I'm her friend", that I'm "handsome and could have any girl I want".

I can't believe this. She'd fuck anything that breathes yet I get friend zoned or whatever this is. I'm dying. This literally feels like death. The pain is unbearable. I'm cringing at my existence. I just feel like kicking myself in the face.

PAIN

@prejudiced_porridge

Just feel like writing down some thoughts and feelings here.

Whenever a girl shows interest in me, I get nervous because I have the perception that her showing interest in me is a lucky mistake, and then I proceed to sabotage myself with the nervousness until the girl loses interest.

This needs to stop. And the only way for it to stop is for me to stop caring whether a girl is interested or not. And when she does show interest, I must not care about losing that interest. I must suppress the urge to try to keep that interest.

I must be mindful of this while holding a conversation. Regardless of how things are going, I must never become attached to a good outcome. I must always be prepared for everything to quickly go from me being the best guy she's ever talked to, to being more repulsive than a rotting pig corpse on the side of the road.

Just keeping this attitude in mind and always being prepared should save a lot of emotional turmoil.

It reads like the biggest hurdle to your engaging females are the hurdles in your own mind. I wish you the best in overcoming them and developing a sense of comfort.

To that end, consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.

Just feel like writing down some thoughts and feelings here.

Whenever a girl shows interest in me, I get nervous because I have the perception that her showing interest in me is a lucky mistake, and then I proceed to sabotage myself with the nervousness until the girl loses interest.

This needs to stop. And the only way for it to stop is for me to stop caring whether a girl is interested or not. And when she does show interest, I must not care about losing that interest. I must suppress the urge to try to keep that interest.

I must be mindful of this while holding a conversation. Regardless of how things are going, I must never become attached to a good outcome. I must always be prepared for everything to quickly go from me being the best guy she's ever talked to, to being more repulsive than a rotting pig corpse on the side of the road.

Just keeping this attitude in mind and always being prepared should save a lot of emotional turmoil.