@PepeBull

My wife doesn’t love me anymore. What do I do?

I’m 33 and my wife is 32. We met in college. We were both virgins when we met. We have been married for 6 years, and we have a kid together and another one on the way (she is due any day now).

She used to be madly in love with me for the first few years of our relationship. Super affectionate, wrote me love letters, cuddly, etc.

Then we drifted apart as life got more stressful and bad things happened. She lost her father unexpectedly, I was chronically overworked and stressed by medical school and being a doctor. She resented that I was addicted to weed and porn (I have since quit both)…

We argued more and more. Resentment built up. She had a medical issue that made sex painful for her for a long time so we rarely had sex, and then she further lost sex drive after giving birth…

I developed an anger issue along the way while she became less and less affectionate. She would never say “I love you” unprompted or initiate hugs or kisses. She developed insomnia, which she blamed on me waking her at night, and eventually we just slept in separate rooms every night. We had some major fights.

It all came to a head four months ago when we had this one really big argument about money. Note that I am the sole breadwinner and money manager/investor (and have done quite well), while she is a stay at home mom. She grew concerned over how much I was investing and she worried that our joint account was running too low and we would run out of money for basic needs, so she opened up a personal checking account and withdrew a few thousand dollars into it from our joint account. I got really upset and demanded she put the money back. I yelled a lot and kicked a door. We cooled off (or so I thought)…but then police arrived later that night and arrested me, as she had secretly called the cops. This was the third time she had called the cops on me during arguments but it was the first time that they arrested me. She says she didn’t intend for me to get arrested for what it’s worth…

Shortly after my arrest, she filed a restraining order and filed for divorce.

I was completely devastated. I begged and pleaded with her, and ultimately she agreed to freeze (but not outright withdraw) the divorce and work on building back our relationship. She modified the restraining order to allow us to meet up, which we have been. She says she agrees to cancel the restraining order when the court date for it comes in 3 months. Meanwhile I have been going to therapy as mandated by the court.

It seems like we are working towards getting back together, but she refuses to frame it as us just having a really rough patch and working through it because we still love each other. When I ask her it she loves me, she says something like “I don't know if I will be able to love you again after all that has happened,” which is super depressing and frustrating to me. She says the marriage we had is dead and that we need to basically pretend like we are starting from scratch and dating each other to build trust and maybe love will come back…

What am I supposed to do in this situation? Feels like I am expected to audition for my own life. I feel powerless, hopeless, and humiliated.

What should I do?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGVZOLV9SPo

Pause and take the time to seriously process the situation you're marriage is currently in, instead of reacting to it. Treat this like you're an intelligence agency director or military commander pulling together the resources needed to defeat a civil war-insurgency he was fully aware was developing, but previously disinterested, or too preoccupied with other more pressing concerns, to engage. You're not a doctor trying to save a dying patient here, or a mechanic trying to repair a totaled car, or even a knight trying to save a damsel in distress. You're gearing up to fight a war with an enemy who is vastly better prepared to destroy you.

Focus on restraining your anger by gathering as much tangible verifiable info as you can to inform yourself on the situation before you make any more decisions or take any further actions. Discern potential assets from enemies among your shared social circle and kin. Use that information to decide the who, what, when, where, how, and why you're willing to sacrifice assets to achieve your goal. If you're not doing so, check out married red pill, ask them questions, and consider reading the books they recommend.

If you haven't done so, ask your attorney if you reside in a one party consent state and hire a private investigator to help you get as much information as you can to thoroughly inform yourself on the situation. If you maintain an apartment close to work, away from your family home, use that as your base of operations where you keep and review any information you never want your wife to even be aware you're looking into or exists. Whenever you're at the family home and the wife gets you angry, immediately put on your shoes, coat, hat, and promptly retreat to that apartment. As law enforcement has been brought into this conflict, install call recording apps onto your mobile phones, print email transcripts to file, get digital recording tools for any landlines you use, purchase yourself a body cam, as well as internal car and home surveillance equipment. Be aware of circulating hearsay, but do not concern yourself with it until you've confirmed its being used against you. Document its use, and consult with your attorney to determine if its worth pursuing the other party over.

With what you've shared with us complete and total strangers about the chaotic last few years of the marriage, how you reacted to the things she said and did is perfectly understandable. I won't belittle, diminish, deride, or deny you your feelings, while she uses hers to justify and validate actions which undermine the marriage and endangers the household. Despite how things have developed, that you wish to salvage the relationship, and marriage, you have with your wife is admirable, but it's very unlikely that your relationship with her will return to what it was. Regardless of how this matter concludes, you two will only come to an understanding. What that understanding will be, I can't say, as your actions will decide that.

@Jonah

28M virgin, 178 cm . Finally started getting dates but unable to move beyond first.

28M virgin, 178 cm . Finally started getting dates but unable to move beyond first.

I used to be a huge lurker back in 2019-20 on original Redpill subreddit. And learned some. Read the rational male , book of pook, sidebar numerous times and had been trying to approach women but over 7 years I got 0 dates. I am kinda average looking , slim And of avg height (178 cm). I tried bulking up but I got injury which put me out for a solid 3 years.

Right now, I am 28M virgin, Since I wasn't getting dates irl so, got good photos and downloaded hinge. Got 80 matches of which Managed to score 3 dates. All 3 unmatched after first date and didn't pursue for a 2nd one. Somehow hinge matched me with everyone who's looking for something serious . I don't know if we didn't connect or they didn't find me attractive enough. I tried doing "game", maintained a playful smile with intense eye contact, flirting constantly. I asked them about themselves, made sure to keep the conversation to themselves. Each one of them asked "How many more girls are you seeing", which to me sounded like it's going good as they don't ask this, unless they're attracted. I also maintained high energy, agreed and amplified (like they asked why did you choose this place away from your home , I just said I put on the big map of rhe city blindfolded myself and see where it landed. ( It was just close to her place)

But at the same time, they rejected physical touch, and would not dance when I asked. They also didn't compliment me at all, which sounds like again they weren't attracted to me.

This looks like a constant pattern, I am able to get first dates but no escalations beyond that. I have not able to meet anyone without apps in the past 7 years, approaching hasnt worked and I am not sure how to proceed as a virgin at almost 30. Please help me out.

TLDR (through gpt):

28M, average-looking, virgin. Spent years consuming Redpill content and trying to approach women IRL with no success. Recently switched to Hinge, got ~80 matches and 3 first dates, but all ended after the first meet.

On dates, used playful “game,” high energy, teasing, and focused conversation on them. They asked if he was seeing other girls (seemed like interest), but rejected physical escalation and didn’t show strong attraction signals.

Pattern: can get first dates via apps, but no second dates or physical progression. Unsure whether it’s lack of attraction, connection, or approach. Looking for direction on what to change

It reads like you're getting back into dating after a hiatus, but you're noticing something is off regarding your social skills. If you've any friends and acquaintances you've noticed similar problems with, try and get feedback regarding your interactions with them to help you identify the problem. It's probably for the best that you focus on your professional life, exercise, diet, and communication skills.

In the meantime, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@kawzero

Should I bang her

What's up Brothers, hope you're all good.

I'm a teacher in a school, and I stay in the staff quarters/lodge.

One of the female teachers seems into me. She has been giving me lots of IOIs, such as unnecessary playful touches, laughing at my statements which don't seem funny etc.

she also said (if she were to date any guy among the guys, it would be me) during a Truth or Dare game.

She is always tensed around me.

She has an apartment in another town, and only comes to teach twice a week.

She also reviewed during the Truth/Dare game that, she isn't really ready for a serious relationship RN.

I just want to bang her, and maybe make her a plate. I don't want a anything serious.

Is this a good idea? I'm thinking I get her number, chat with her. Then tell her I want to come over her place. My aim is just to fuck her. I have no serious plans with her.

I don't have an apartment of my own. The room in the staffs lodge I stay is shared with 2 other guys.

Thanks for your feedback!

Attempt to answer: I think it's not a bad idea, because I don't have any serious plans with her.

Whether you do or don't make the moves to bang your female co-worker is entirely up to you. You don't need our permission or approval to do as you please, but this action isn't something a lot of more experienced guys here would recommend until such a time as you've at least confirmed an imminent transition to another employer. Getting romantically or sexually involved with females working under the same employer can complicate your life should that female decide to weaponize the employer against you if things don't go her way.

As you're working in education and dependent on employer provided lodging, it reads too much like her situation is more secure than your own. This suggests either she, or her family, are better networked with your current employer than you are. Instead, consider focusing on working your job, paying off your debts, building up your savings, studying the book, and pursuing females who don't work for your current employer.

@Lebbaeus

Just noticed your message. Interestingly, I unconsciously did what you were saying. My family runs a business and I just have been focusing on small aspects of that I've neglected over the years. My drive throughout my life was always to be elite. That video is spot on. I don't want to chase the mirage. Porn, substances leave me feeling empty.Chasing women is not best ROI.

Honestly, I just don't know what's worth it. I wrote in my last reply to my post what I envision for my end goal. I understand the journey is the ride. I will do a written list now. Thank you for suggesting that book i downloaded it from annas archive and read the first couple of chapters it definitely applies to me. I rely on women for validation.

Lots of work to be done, looking forward to learn more from you. I will be posting on some tribe my progress and come back here for feedback

From RP, I like Uncle Vas ( I want to get into exploring women's deepest kinks). Whisper, itiswritten and humansockpuppet are my favorites. I hope one day I become that guy to other dudes whom I can inspire. I used to read theredarchive.com and take things literally but now I understand what you mean, to judge the information and test shit out and come back here.

Thank you for taking the time for that well thought reply. Enough talk from me. Time for action

Not a problem. You've got a better head on your shoulders than you maybe giving yourself credit. You don't need our permission or approval to pursue your goals, only a little encouragement, confirmation, and occasional direction. I'm confident that you'll achieve everything you focus yourself upon doing. Good luck in all you do and god speed on your journey.

The Camp of the Saints

By the year 2000 there will on present projections be seven billion people swarming on the surface of the Earth. And only nine hundred million of them will be white. What will happen when the teeming billions of the so-called Third World—driven by unbearable hunger and despair, the inevitable consequences of insensate over-population—descend locust-like on the lush lands of the complacent white nations? Jean Raspail has the rare imagination and courage necessary to face this terrifying question head-on. Readers of whatever color and political persuasion will find in The Camp of the Saints (already a bestseller in France and America) a hypnotically readable novel of compelling power that will disturb, provoke and horrify them by turns. And so powerful is its impact that once you have read it you will need brain surgery to forget it.

A 1973 French dystopian fiction novel by author and explorer Jean Raspail. A speculative fictional account, it depicts the destruction of Western civilization through Third World mass immigration to France and the Western world. Almost 40 years after its initial publication, the novel returned to the bestseller list in 2011.

You can find mention of this book on Wikipedia, Youtube, Bitchute, The Internet Archive, and other websites.

#1973 #TheCampoftheSaints #JeanRaspail #Books #eBooks #Translation #LeCampdesSaints #Dystopia #Fiction #World #Europe #France #CultureWar #EconomicWar #PsychologicalWarfare #SpiritualWarfare #BiologicalWarfare #BureaucraticWarfare #KineticWarfare #UnrestrictedWarfare #Demoralization #IdeologicalSubversion #CivilWar #Border #Migrants #DemographicDisplacement #Replacement #Immigrants #Foreigner #Invasion #Refugee #Resettlement #SocialWelfare #Provisioning #Staging #WW3 #VISA #Citizenship #Ideology #Tribalism #Nationalism #Populism #Egalitarianism #Liberalism #Fascism #Baizuo #WhiteLeft #Atheism #Antitheism #Marxism #Socialism #Modernism #Internationalism #Communism #Feminism #Humanism #Conservatism #Progressivism #Globohomo #Globalism #Paganism #Freemasonry #Leftism #Satanism #MentalIllness #MoralIllness

@Lebbaeus

Advice for setting my mind straight

I just graduated at 26 in Electronic Engineering. I have ignored everything in my life. relationship, friends and family.

Stats: After munching a lot in my exams, I got to 30 per cent fat. (I know it's a lof of fckin fat). In reference to this picture, learn.athleanx.com/articles/body-fat-percentage-men I look like the high 20's with a bit more muscle definition on the chest. I have a belly but when I stand up straight it becomes flat.

I watched porn for so long it fucked me up since I was 11. I'm on Day 44 and following AA recovery for porn. I find everything boring, so my mind associates only source of fun is sexual release. I have been to a hooker once because I just wanted to not be a virgin. In addition, I had a friend and i couldn't get it up with her. I feel like I'm not worthy of women on the inside like no self worth. I'm going to block browsing as it is also draining because I surf aimlessly.

I missed out on the sexual teenage years and early 20's. Socially, I don't have anything to talk about and I don't even know who i am anymore. I don't care about anything. My answers are yes no and i keep shit minimal and I feel like i don't want to share anything about my life because I am ashamed of how I lived it. My mind looks for external validation and not internal. Also no active hobbies

My question is:

• Is there anyone with similar experience who overcame that?
• How did you guys get centered and look for internal validation? I lost my confidence and everything. I would appreciate some pointers in setting up a realistic plan to so I'm on the right track. I even forgot how to flirt. I used to be good.

My focus for this year is by 31 December 2026:

• Decent Physique (15% Bodyfat with more muscle definition)
• Get more lays, I'm at 0. I just want to get more and by end of year possibly reach 60. End goal is reach 100 so i can convince myself that I can do it and then decide if getting an ltr is worth it cause I want to have kids at some point. ( I have really good face genetics so with losing weight I get a lot of looks, my friends called me dicaprio but I'm really scared of women like I look away or walk away.)
• Get a job to support myself
• I have this need that I want to be famous, I was thinking of starting a history youtube channel because I love fckin history cause 90% of it is fake. Yes do not get vaccinated. Or want to Get into comedy and sell out like everyone. I want your honest and raw opinion because I want to learn how to be an adult and stop being a snowflake. I'm currently in european country for a week, staying at a friend. Then I'm going back to my home country where I'm staying for months so I can get back to my routine. I can try some small things this week like giving women compliments in order to get over fear of approaching theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/snowballing.51699 (My trick is to usually look at women and guess what they study or work and joke around but I get nowhere other than just having fun) It's long because I want you to know where I'm at and what are my weaknesses. Discipline isn't my issue, I just don't know where to put my eggs in which basket as I keep switching priorities.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

It's unfortunate to read that you had to retreat from society in order to accomplish your education, as it speaks volumes of the lack of cohesion, psychological-spiritual support and encouragement you could count on from those around you. If it's an option, get familiar with the location of the free clinics in your area and the nurses office on campus. They tend to offer free condoms in bowls, so stock up. To tackle your pornography problem, consider heading over to No Fap or other groups focused on helping men tackle vices in their lives. Some profiles here tend to deride those who see their own pornography habit, or other vices, as a problem and it can be more than annoying if you're unfamiliar with account block functions, so check those out too. Regardless, it's good to read that you've begun to achieve your goals and have a small list of additional things you want to accomplish. To that end, it may help for you to get yourself two sheets of paper, a pen, and do the following.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general starting with what you've shared with us. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, keep it someplace you won't forget. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, resume, or start over.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if its something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

If you otherwise need help, ask. Be discerning of any advice you're offered and never forget that there's no shortage of #books that may help you achieve your goals. Best of luck to you.

@robert87

few relationship questions

Been in a relationship with HB8 for 3 months. She is the same girl I posted about last time. My first time having a girlfriend.

My old post is here: www.forums.red/p/asktrp/324472/are_these_iois

On a new account because my old email address got hacked. Thanks mods for helping me clear it up.

What do you do if your girlfriend seems to have a swarm of beta orbiters and simps that are always trying to kiss her ass and get access to her?

What do I do about how she snoops through my things?

Is it normal that she is dominating my space, bringing a suitcase load of beauty products every time she stays over and leaving half of them behind? Five different kinds of shampoo in my shower, bottles of lotions in my car and my office and every room of my house?

Are these things normal or are there actions I should take? She is a very nice girl and I am happy. She is bright and cheerful, pleasant to spend time with, understanding, tries to make me happy and meet my needs.

Thanks lads.

Edit to answer own question:

I think red pill would say it would be to have other options and not focus on one girl but she is extremely hot while I am disfigured from an accident. Don't know how to get an abundance mentality when other women all think I'm scary. Act confident but honestly feel lucky that even one hot girl thinks well of me.

Here's a link to CS50's 2023 Introduction to Cybersecurity playlist. I've no clue how bad your tech problem was, or is, but that should be an interesting watch if ever you've the time to spare on it. Better to build the foundation of your understanding of such things with information provided in part by Harvard Professor David Malan, than anonymous internet nobodies like us.

As for the situation with the female you're dating, study the book. I get that you're apprehensive about being able to keep a hottie due to being disfigured, but you've been dating for the past three months and as far as we know she doesn't seem to mind. If she wants to snoop through your phone, calmly ask her to hand you hers, unlock them together, trade, and let the snooping begin. If you don't find anything of concern to you, kill time by looking for games on her phone, and play them until she returns yours. It'll help you maintain the 'Why would I care, I'm no liar' attitude. As for what to do if you come across something, aside for staying calm, I'll leave others to advise you there.

That she has male orbiters is kind of to be expected for a hot girl though. If she's knowingly doing things to encourage them to be in her orbit then your concern is only fair, especially if she's not introducing you to people as her boyfriend. However, with what you've shared, and my own lack of in interest in asking questions, outside of encouraging her to make the acquaintance of other females to build an entourage of young men and women, I don't see much else that you could otherwise do beyond accepting the situation and possibly making the move to date other girls.