The B Man

Much has been said about the 80/20 rule in dating. If you don’t know what that means, look it up before continuing. But in short, OKCupid pulled from a massive data set that showed that most women select only the top men. According to the Pareto principle, that would be the top 20%. In fact, in the image shown below, women rated only 16% (1 in 6) as above average. Anyone familiar with statistics knows that this is mathematically highly unlikely. Yet, the data set is by all accounts accurate and used a large sample size

It is clear that this does not bode well for the roughly 80% of men who appear to be rated well-below average. And we all know that the top 7% men are less likely to commit given the large number of choices available to them. Bear in mind that I said “less” likely. Some top tier men do indeed get married. And like many other men, they too find out quickly about the nature of hypergamy. Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, Johnny Depp, are just a few examples among a large number of noteworthy celebrities who serve as a cautionary tale. Remember this; the top 7-10-20% of men get all the attention, but that does not immunize them from the depredations of today’s modern woman.

One could write yet another book on this dynamic alone, but I would like to call attention to another aspect that I have yet to encounter in spaces like this; The B man. In many colleges, a grade of B is a respectable grade. Generally the scale goes something like this: On an exam, a grade of 75-79 =C+; a grade of 80-84 = B; 85-89=B+; and >90=A.

So the B man is in that sweet spot right behind the Chads of the world, but above the lower rated men. Again using the OK Cupid numbers (16%) and the Pareto Principle (20%) these men exist in a theoretical no-mans land – neither hot nor ugly, neither Chad nor Billy. So who is the B man?

A typical B Man, if there were such a thing as typical among this group, would likely (arguably) have many or all of the following characteristics.

• Driven by deeply held values
• In decent shape
• Relatively attractive
• Financially stable for his age
• Self-disciplined
• Confident, but not cocky
• Loyal and family oriented
• Diligent and industrious
• Intelligent
• Good social skills
• They don't often chase women, but rather seek targets of opportunity

In short, these are the Good Men of the world by all accounts. One could argue that the term “Sigma Male” is a close proxy for this group of men. But it doesn’t work because Sigma is more of a personality type. But it would not be surprising to see a lot of Sigma’s in this category. Either way, when the average American woman speaks about wanting a good man, THIS Is the man she is talking about; the B Man.

So then why are we even having this conversation? If women want a good man, they would just go for them, right? Well, yes and no. There are a few reasons why the B Men are so elusive to most women.

• They tend to be already taken. Good men are scooped up by women who were raised to easily identify a good man. More traditional, conservative women find these men when they are young and build a life together. Most of these men are simply off the market.
• Modern women repel B Men. Women meet B Men all day every day. But based on body language, clothing, hair, and makeup, most B Men won’t go near those women. And deep inside most women know they cannot attract a good man; they seem to be incapable of making the changes needed to stop being so repulsive to good men.
• Women have a hard time distinguishing B Men from other types. Some B Men are fairly attractive – remember, they are in the top 16-20% - so they can often be confused with players at a casual glance. On the other hand, their behavior is generally civilized. So men who are civilized are definitely NOT bad boys. And the opposite of a bad boy is a “nice guy” and women are not having any of that. So B men struggle on both ends of this issue, as do women.
• Most women under 35 spend too much time “out”. They are in clubs, bars, cruises, girl’s night out, and traveling for way too long into their lives. And who do they meet when they are out? All sorts of men who tend to be NOT B Men. So by the time women are ready get serious about family and relationships, they think all men are losers and trash; because those are the sorts of men they have surrounded themselves with their whole lives up to that point.

This is not really a new revelation to those who know. But it does add a bit of nuance to some common conversations. It also represents a large number of men – of unmarried men in the US between the ages of 20-54 there are approximately 5-7 million men in this group. So it is far from a fringe or minority group.

It should also be noted that there are many men who are ranked at all levels of attractiveness who can be considered good men. The B Man does not have a monopoly on goodness. It just happens that they tend to not be players, not pretty boys, not bad boys, but also not repulsive to women.

Do with this information what you will. But if anything, teach your daughters to focus on this man like a laser. It is this man who will bear her beautiful children and have a higher likelihood of sticking around – while also having the best odds at keeping her hypergamistic tendencies at bay.

Sources:

https://www.infoplease.com/us/census/demographic-statistics

https://www.statista.com/statistics/242030/marital-status-of-the-us-population-by-sex/

Tip deeplydisturbed for their post.