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The Talk - how to talk back
Published 06/09/16 by mattyanon [0 Comments]

Rollo has just posted an excerpt of his excellent The Talk

Here's my strategy on dealing with this sort of thing.

Strategies for dealing with female demands for exclusivity (which she is absolutely not entitled to):

  • Head it off before it starts. They often start subtle by implying you are a player (chuckle as if it's true even if it's not). Or subtle expectations of current exclusivity (chuckle as if it's not true even if it is). As much as possible attempt to neither confirm nor deny. Frame your relationship ambiguously from the start, by refusing to define it at all. Neither confirm not deny involvement with other women. Be unavailable some of the time.
  • Obviously do not show provider behaviour. This leads to female comfort, female "make him wait" behaviour and male sexual frustration.
  • Less obviously - do not show commitment behaviour. No promises of future meetings. Gap after each meeting where there is no future meeting agreed. The lifestyle is: arrange, meet, gap, arrange, meet, gap, etc. NOT meet and arrange next, meet and arrange next, meet and arrange next. Do not let girls arrange the next meeting while you're with them (they often do this right after sex). There must be a regular "nothing arranged in the future" gap. She must have a tinge of fear about losing you rather than the perpetual certainty she'll see you every Saturday or every night at home or every second Sunday. (Allow occasional exceptions for special occasions, but observe how her behaviour changes - you'll get less attention from her and she'll be less sexual).
  • If confronted, be vague. "Hey baby... I thought we had a nice thing going here... we like each other, we enjoy spending time together, and who knows what the future holds? There are no certainties in life, but I know that when I'm with you, I'm with you". For bonus points if you're brave: "But I do know this... love will always find a way...."
  • If given a total absolute do-or-die ultimatum, retract commitment and treat the relationship as over but don't close the door fully... "Oh... oh I see... I'm sorry that it's come to this for you.... what we had was pretty good.... I know I enjoyed it a lot and I thought you were having a good time too... I'm really sorry that you've had to make these threats/ultimatums/demands" ie frame the relationship as over, but keep the conversation going long enough for her to hamster her way around to your way of thinking as she realises her bluff isn't working. Do not trigger an ego-battle, do not walk out, do not hang up, do not say "you need me more than I need you" or anything else ego-triggering. Just stay talking, stay happy, assume the relationship is over, start planning out your next conquest, keep the convo going. It's in your best interests. Keep that ego in check.

Before this shit even starts... always be prepared to walk away. Always have the option to walk away. In fact, plan your escape constantly (limited shared friends, separate lives, living arrangements, finances, she never has the option to fuck you over, etc)
You are better off single than exclusive. Exclusive is when she starts to turn the thumbscrews just as your game is going down the toilet. Just don't do it.
Additional suggestions from u/FrameWalker on reddit: avoid sleepovers, don't meet her friends, don't see her more than once a week, and don't treat her like a girlfriend. (ie avoiding commitmenty things and limiting affection especially non-sexual affection).

The worst possible number of women is one.

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