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Where To Draw The Line?
Published 05/24/19 by nice_guy [0 Comments]

I do not have any "hard and fast" rules when it comes to setting and enforcing boundaries in relationships, and I believe that this has been part of my happiness and success. Instead, I rely on my judgment of contingent and particular circumstances to guide my decisions. Why is this important?

Judgment of circumstances draws on the skills of collecting facts, doing analysis, and making tough decisions by and for oneself. By contrast, as I'm sure the general readers here are aware, many novice TRP guys will attempt to circumvent a self-centered process of judgment by outsourcing their decisions to the analytic and decision-making skills of others. Hence, we say that one can color himself as an alpha by following strict heuristics or protocols behaviorally, without allowing himself to actually generate the correct mind-state that organically produces hard decisions.

What's at stake is your happiness and success.

So often I have seen accounts of guys who sabotage themselves by following overly strict protocols. They prematurely end relationships with plates, FWB's, and even LTR's because they encounter the following paradox. On the one hand, she is still having sex with me (i.e., I am still happy with this arrangement); but on the other hand, she sometimes does things to test my patience (i.e., she exhibits so-called yellow and red flags). The common recourse is to end the relationship at the first sight of infidelity, immaturity, or anything else deemed as less-than-ideal (often these perceptions are even shit tests in disguise). This recourse is connected to an overly-strict abidance to prescribed heuristics, which on the part of betas, is often rooted in an incapacity to process judgments for oneself. Go onto asktrp and look at the "blind leading the blind", that is what I am talking about.

But these problems will never go away, because AWALT.

Therefore, I encourage other men to think twice before acting in accordance with a strict heuristic when confronting her "fuck-ups" -- especially if there is still fun to be had in the relationship. Ride that shit into the ground instead of hard next'ing frivolously. Once it is clear and evident that there is nothing left to be had from the relationship, let it go, but don't do so beforehand. Be patient, and allow yourself to learn empirically when that shit is clear and evident. Don't try to fix anything, but let it ride its course and be observant, and when you reach your limit, leave.

Obviously, one should not insist on staying in a relationship at the expense of his own dignity. A relationship (plate, FWB, LTR, marriage, etc.) should always be good for your reputation and dignity, and moreover it should be easy. Difficulty in a relationship is usually evidence that things are going south, but even then, there might be more fun to be had.

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