I have a close female friend. Her marriage is on life support. I also know her husband. His behavior is that of a classic struggling nice guy beta making every effort to “make things right” … and getting nowhere. Though never married, I know his struggle.

We talk about almost everything. Occasionally I offer helpful comments about their marriage. She admires me and is attracted to me, so she listens. [fn. 1] She knows I want what’s best for her, him, and her marriage.[fn. 2]

I do not try to red-pill her. I mention it occasionally as the impetus for all the improvement I made in my life. She listens… to a point. Unfortunately, like every woman, she reflexively rejects anything suggesting:

• he isn’t 100% at fault for the marriage problems,
• his needs are important (irrespective of hers), or
• that she may be causing some of the problems.

When this occurs, she changes the subject or start pushing back hard (“who hurt you..”, “you sound like you hate women...”, etc.). She skews her version of events to make her self look good, [fn.3] but it’s not hard to see the full picture. In chief, she’s not haaaappy.

Today she complained again. I tested something.

I asked her, in all sincerity, to do me a favor and give him a copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Dr. Robert Glover, a bedrock text for establishing a male identity. I’ve mentioned this book before in a neutral context and she accepted that it helped me immensely.

She was mildly aware that I was asking her to help him (and by extension their marriage). She was amenable to the idea because she admires me. Although she agreed his current approach is making things worse, she resisted my effort the more I explained that he needed to work on himself, for himself.

She opined this would only trade one stale technique, beta supplication, [fn. 4] for another: game (the diabolical red pill skillset that she can’t admit made me extremely attractive to her). When I told her this was the wrong way to view the situation, and implied that her husband had needs of his own, she changed the subject. She had had enough of my help.

Let me repeat.

I, a man she respects, tried to get her to help her husband, a man she no longer respects, by recommending the very thing that made me more attractive and arousing to her. And she was repulsed.

Why?

Because guys are supposed to just get it.

If her husband of 23 years can’t figure out his marital problems on his own, then he’s not the man for her. Because he’s beta, she can’t accept that he has value apart from her. [fn. 5] Nor can she accept that he could benefit from her help in dealing with the situation. He should just know how to deal with it. He shouldn’t need help from anyone, and especially not help from her. [fn. 6]

This woman has three kids and lives in martial misery. But as a woman, she cannot accept a benefit derived from help for him that operates within of her control. To a woman, such help is fraudulent and just proves he's a non-man. If she recommends this book to him, it is equivalent to telling him how to be masculine. To the relationship, this is an ill-gotten gain. [fn. 7]

This is never a woman’s job.

Never.

Never.

Never.

Never.

Never.

There is a common refrain: “don’t try to red pill women.”

This experience unambiguously corroborates it. She instinctively knew I was asking her to help him in his masculinity, even if indirectly, and it set off a biological alarm: hypergamy.

A woman is hypergamous before she is a wife. It is not just that she gets wet for an alpha and craves comfort from a beta. Her pussy must know the difference. It is hard-wired genetically, as deeply woven in female instinct as a man’s certain love of boobs. Telling a woman to get wet for a beta [fn. 8] is like telling a boob guy to fetishize flat chests. Vaginal certitude will brook no opposition. [fn. 9]

My friend did not consciously think, “Uh oh, Nixon asked me to help my husband bypass my hypergamous filter.” It was a reflex.

If I suggested mainstream self-help word porn garbage from a female-approved culture, she would not have resisted. She might have considered it a good idea. And in one respect, it is: it provides certainty.

Useless word porn guarantees hypergamous certainty. If he reads it and nods along, then persists in being beta (regardless of using the advice), then her hypergamy has assessed him correctly. She is comforted in knowing he is who she thinks he is: the man unworthy of her desire but who keeps negotiating (unsuccessfully) for it.

The red pill creates hypergamous doubt. A man with a history of beta nice guy supplication starts to implement the red pill and his wife wonders who he is. She may partly like the results, but mostly she’ll despite it and mock him for even trying. It threatens that prior certainty.

Every red pill beginner is riddled with incongruence. Sometimes he’ll come across as alpha, sometimes beta, and sometimes a disorienting combination. This unacceptable for a woman. She pegged him as beta. He stayed in his corner. She is satisfied in her ongoing dissatisfaction.

Viewed in this light, the notion of helping him create hypergamous doubt is a double whammy. First sin, manipulate me by splitting the atom of my arousal. Second sin, I help him do it.

Can’t she just trust that in the long run it will benefit her? No.

Her lack of trust in him is part of her lack of arousal (and their inert desire pattern). My opinion. Some women can think long term, vaginas do not. The masculinity my friend’s husband lacks (and needs to build) signals to her vagina first. Only after he can arouse her tingle will she consider cooperating with any other part of the relationship. [fn. 10]

Postscript.

Weeks ago I wrote this. Nothing has changed. I eventually stopped the futile effort of trying to help him (directly, or indirectly through her). Lesson learned. Also, her attraction for me has cooled off (I revealed too much of red pill). [fn 11] Their issues were the same before she knew me, while she was infatuated with me, and after the infatuation subsided.

I wrote this with a hefty dollop of resentment. This resentment undermines my long-term goal: to know female nature, as God created it, as it is, not as I want it to be. Imposing my insecurities or personal preferences on it is to sin by negotiating desire.

I do myself no favors by resenting female resistance to something that goes against female nature. Occasional frustration and annoyance? Unavoidable. Resentment? Never. I should be thankful I have female friends to remind me (at little cost) that it's a futile effort to ask for their help with my masculinity.

Whenever I think she should be open to my helping them, I must recognize this thought stems from my male idealization of female nature. This holds me back on every level as a man. It reflects an expectation I place on her that she cannot accommodate. And if I’m careless, I'll place that expectation on all women…. and be sorely disappointed when they fail to meet it.

~~~~~~~~

Footnotes.

1. Barely beknownst to her, it is because of the red pill. We were both daily gym goers for years before we even knew each other. After I took the red pill and made something of myself physically and socially, I befriended her (along with many others). Only then, and not before, did she eagerly embrace me.

2. I am not physically attracted to her. If I was, my motivations would be suspect.

3. She has the universal female tendency to offload responsibility onto others and maintain the pretense of virtue and innocence. Though she is a close friend, I am not blind to this tendency.

4. My words, not hers.

5. Corollary to women making rules for betas and breaking them for alphas. Alphas have value, betas do not. Morality? No. For women, the tingle is the primary and usually ultimate arbiter of value… and morality, more often than anyone wants to admit (see hybristophilia).

6. Isn’t couples counseling help? My opinion. From everything I’ve heard, couples counseling typically consists of a wife and therapist telling a husband “he needs to do better” (usually at obeying her). That doesn’t sound like help.

7. She also could barely accept help beyond her control. If I went directly to him (and I’ve tried a couple times), she would feel betrayed. At best, she would have to remain ignorant of this effort. I recognized this was impossible and let it go.

8. Even her fucking husband. Especially her husband.

9. Boners too. Certainty of arousal is egalitarian. Think of a man who initially gets aroused at the sight of a woman and is then disgusted when he finds out it is… not a woman.

10. Noted. The red pill covert contract. Even if he does everything he can and succeeds in making himself more attractive and arousing, it still may not work on her. Thus, he must do it for himself.

11. Lesson also learned.