As someone who's always been behind in terms of my social development (thx to bullying+racism growing up), for once I take comfort in my own skin and have accepted that racism will be something I can never get away from, but will never turn a blind eye to or keep my mouth shut about.

But now, I find myself unable to detect "shit" I get from others. This has led me to "defending" only to be told "I'm just messing with you". A phone call with my uncle made me realize this. I also realized I don't care to respond in a way that would increase my social status, nor do I feel the want to actively meet new people. While that will affect my ability to get laid and make friends, I also know I'll never the the typical Alpha or a "respected member of society".

I do know I'll always be my own confident, non-self-loathing, individual person who lacks empathy, doesn't care what anyone says or thinks about him, and is passionate about music. I fucking love music!

Eye contact used to be a problem for me. If a passerby manages to catch my eye, I put on my shit eating grin if they don't avert their gaze. I also need to slow down when I speak to people. When I talk, I tend to speak too fast and in bursts. One girl said I speak in iambic pentameter. Too much Slim Shady+rap+hip-hop me thinks. Body language comes natural to me: speaking and reading. I always get a kick out of seeing a girl playing with her hair. I have Joe Navarro and years of playing poker to thank for that. I also need to thank TRP for opening my eyes to the true nature of females and I dare say society as well.

At times I feel like a man going my own way, but I also enjoy objectifying girls and I have a few ethnicities I will cross off my "To Fuck List"

So,

• I'll always be learning.
• I'll always be a work in progress.
• I determine the level of my success.
• I don't matter.
• I don't care.

So have a nice day and go fuck yourself. :)

Finally...

- Okimaw Muskwa -

Tip TheViolat0r for their post.