And another thing about which I don't know what to think about and it shows me that AWALT.

I know one girl for like 10 years but since we meet just in the beginning and I was complete loser we haven't had sex. But weirdly we still keep in rare but good contact. She checks on me, even if it would be once a 2 years. She has kids and husband(although they had some problems, not sure how bad problems). Lately she sent me randomly a picture of her front and back, with tight trousers basically showing off her ass. Asking "is it ok" cause she goes to some wedding. If I was her husband I would be super mad if I knew she sends such pics to other guy(AWALT).

Does this mean she is just bad, or they are breaking up and she wants my dick? Should I not think about it? Should I be good boi or should I comment on her ass? I am getting philosophical here. Cause if they are in bad relationship it goes to shit anyway. Faster better. If she wants to cheat she will find someone fast. One part wants to ask her why is she sending this, but other part wants to comment sexually about it and try to seduce her.

Maybe those thoughts may sound stupid and lame to some people but come on. If you are not a psycho or narcissistic you have to have similar thoughts.

I am getting stuck I need some advice.

I know 100% I am not getting into LTR unless the girl is an angel. If there is anything not ok like she's old(basically more than 25), have kids, not super cute- I am for sure not LTRing.

The other thing is I love to have good connection with a girl to have sex. This leads to situations like I basically know that I don't want LTR but I am building the connection, we are talking, becoming kind of friends. To be honest I would want to have many girls who "simp" to me and wait till I come to town to get "my precious time". It feels weirdly good. The problem is I don't wanna hurt them TOO MUCH.

I like to think that I am not doing them wrong. For example now, because she's in the other country we basically build quite a connection already since I couldn't just fly there right away. But at some point I have put cold water on her head about "girl I don't know what I want, don't know do I want relationship at all". And this gave me peace of mind and let me continue to basically keep her getting the best of me. And that is the problem. Where is the line. Because the "bad" part of me would like to kind of seduce such girls to be my sexual slaves. This girl already calls me "master". And you know, if they were saint christians I would not seduce, but they aren't. They clearly quite fast show tits on disappearing messages.

So I don't know. Is this just life? Isn't it always like that, am I trying to be too moral. Isn't it always like you never know, girls are used to be pumped and dumped. And guys, for example like me, were basically invisible, often rejected, used for favors. So is this just life? Should I just enjoy and try to be as moral as possible while still getting them get my poison in their veins? Will I go to hell? Who are we? What's the point of life.