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Vermillion Man March
My own Red Pill Enlightenment feels incomplete without helping others along the path
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The Tragedy of the Pussy Commons and why I apply the camping rule to relationships.
Published 10/04/18 by MentORPHEUS [3 Comments]

A common stumbling block for men on the path from bluepill oneitis scarcity mentality, to redpill plate spinning abundance mentality, is this: How do I sleep with/eventually leave all these women without turning into "that asshole?" Turns out that correctly understood and applied RP ideas didn't require abandoning ethics and hurting women, they reinforced many aspects of my morality and made me a better and more sought after partner. Here are some of my musings on the topic, from early in my RP awakening.


You're probably familiar with the concept of The Tragedy of the Commons, the classic example of which involves a commonly-owned pasture area which in the absence of the responsibility of ownership, was overgrazed and destroyed, to the tragic detriment of the entire village.

I'd like to discuss stewardship of the common pool of single women.

This is not motivated by abstract notions of social justice, but actually plain self-interest. With the same amount of effort, we can be involved and part with women in ways that leave them satisfied with the outcome and improved and ready for the next relationship, or we can leave them unhappy, hurt, and resistant in the future. One way helps ourselves and other men in the big picture, the other does the opposite and leaves women more cynical and less available. Like all of my posts, this represents my personal love life experience that now spans 1/3 century; your circumstances and style may vary.

Single women are not a limitless resource. Good women are like apples; if you keep dropping them hard, they turn rotten. I'm not asking you to care out of SJW-type shaming; I hate that crap as much as the next guy here. Fact is, there are plenty of perfectly selfish reasons to care about how the women you sleep with are left feeling after your relationship.

  • Social reputation Failed relationships are a part of life especially for the young, and the greater social effects of those that end amicably fade off rapidly, usually well less than a year. Those who were treated badly during and after the relationship often harbor resentment for years and it will spread durably to those who know her. A reputation as a cad can only harm you over time, whereas nobody sane really resents someone who tried but failed at love.
  • Negative business reputation It may of been fun at the time to humiliate her and kick her out with your jizz still on her face never expecting to see her again. Turns out she's a Senior Partner's daughter's really good friend. Well, crap!
  • Positive business reputation At least 10 former lovers have become clients of my business, or referred good clients to me. My clients have a total spend of $5000-25,000+ over time. Every one of them has volunteered the fact that they're doing it because they trust me. [Edit to clarify: I'm not talking about getting into relationships with employees or customers. I'm referring to many lovers met outside of work, who after breaking up (sometimes 10+ years) chose to do business with me or refer high-spend clients.]
  • Less chance of spontaneous drama in your life The more women you're with over time, the greater the mathematical certainty that they'll converge in your social circles. Once four of my exes were in the same small room together for a time; some knew of others, none knew of all. Not only did nothing happen then, it didn't cause any waves between me and the individuals moving forward. In an earlier life, a legit crazy scorned woman discovered and nuked the other women I was seeing, tried to lobby all of my neighbors against me, and contacted several of my clients to talk crap about me. There is a lot of downside potential to a poorly managed love life!
  • Reduced chance of false accusations A little effort put in to relationship aftercare can reap great dividends later. A woman who is let down relatively gently is far less likely to have a burning well of anger and humiliation that her hamster gins up and exaggerates to levels of, "He was abusive to me!" or, "He raped me!"
  • They might come back as improved plates. Different parts of the aging cycle can actually bring about improvements in appearance. Women often discover increasing sex drive with age, and experience and maturity can transform a fair lover to an amazing one. It can be an extra thrill to experience the changes several years can make in each of you. One of my plates has orbited like a comet for over 10 years; a few weeks or months of great, pretty much NSA sex; then she orbits away for months or years, only to orbit back again easily and eagerly.
  • Leave her more receptive for the next guy, for you are everyone else's next guy. A woman who has been through an unnecessarily harsh breakup will be suspicious and aggressively defensive, susceptible to every radfem meme and idea that comes along, and throwing up massive ASD and LMR. I can't entirely hold them blameless for this.
  • Your long-term peace of mind is the most valuable legacy you create with your day-to-day actions. I'm not challenging that sexual strategy is amoral, but reflecting on over 30 years of experience. Every "bad" breakup I've had disturbs my inner peace; not pathologically but in measure of the unnecessary pain I caused another. I wish I didn't rack up bad breakups unnecessarily before even realizing this impact would surface later.

The Camping Rule and applying it to relationships. For generations, young campers have been taught by their elders to always leave the place in better condition than you found it. The concept is often used in reference to relationships; someone asked for details in a recent thread so here we go.

  • Bad habits diminished or extinguished with a healthy push-pull of intermittent reward of good and certain negative reinforcement of bad behaviors, plus leading with a good Captain example.
  • Better diet; better and more fit body, again through leading by example.
  • Harbors fewer misconceptions of reality. Many "deeply held misinformation" that people harbor has simply never been meaningfully challenged and only comes from facebook memes. Carefully measured ridicule of stupid ideas, and offering practical examples of better ones can make an effortless change in the long-term outlook of people you are close to. Hello and goodbye, radical feminism.
  • Better relationship skills acquired through your example. She'll appreciate you forever if you bust her out of a pattern of unhappy relationships, and it's hard not to feel pride about genuinely improving someone's life. I'm glad if everyone I've been with gains healthier self-image and self-esteem from their experience with me. Everyone complains about the wreckage of broken families, poor upbringing, and dysfunctional relationships; here's a way to actually do something about it, while having sex along the way.

Better breakups for a healthy dating pool. Doing the long fade and making her wonder and worry for an extended time is a time-honored but weak and destructive way to go. If you're fucking like a champ, learn to break up like a champ. Rip the band-aid off decisively, yet with compassion. Do it in person, over text or phone is a classic dick move. Avoid stupid cliches like, "It's not you, it's me." That's weak sauce and will hurt and work against you more than gentle but firm sincerity.

  • No-fault breakup #1 choice. When she hasn't done anything wrong, use a gentle speech about how you think your destinies are different and she deserves a man who can give her 100%, which you apologetically but firmly cannot at this time. If you consider her a replate candidate, mention once that she's a really awesome woman and you'd love to keep seeing her, but you "don't want to be unfair." Downgrade to plate seldom happens on the spot, there has to be a reset period apart, which might be days or years.
  • Last straw A precipitating event, such as an annoying habit or recurring infraction that you've talked about and offered chances for correction, yet in and of itself seems petty to the outside observer. Go cool but not silent for a day or two (no less or more), then initiate #1 as above.
  • Punishable infraction Initiate the breakup on the spot; try to turn it amicable and proceed similarly to #1 once she admits fault, without offering replating. This has the greatest chance of extinguishing the offensive behavior in her for posterity, and you might be seeing her reformed posterior again in the future.
  • Called bluff If she's the argumentative type, she's liable to threaten to break up or tell you to like it or leave. Call the bluff and say okay; withdraw from the scene, go radio silent for days, then only consider answering 5:1 instead of the usual 2:1, if at all. If you have to blatantly provoke an incident, you're doing it wrong.
  • Full Beta (eta) Shift your behavior to supplicating and sappy to make her lose her tingles and decide for herself that she's not attracted and wants to walk away with her dignity intact. Slow, inherently manipulative, and may backfire because some women want to turn their man beta once captured. However, there are circumstances where this is the most expedient option, notably the Tom Leykis Hail Mary.

There are 50 million ways to leave your lover; if you make the slight effort to choose the best one for the situation at hand, it makes the social and sexual landscape much better for all of us men. Harsh or cavalier dumping may be expedient in the moment, but the long-term consequences make it worth doing our best as men even in the potentially ignoble moment of breaking up.

Like the camping rule, men collectively taking good care of the shared resource of single women indirectly but profoundly improves our own dating social landscape, and prevents a Tragedy of the Pussy Commons. The effort required isn't really more, just different.

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Comment by nice_guy on 05/24/19 08:53am

I think some people refuse to end things on good terms because they resent their partners. This resentment causes the seeking of destructive behaviors such as the ruination of an ex’s reputation or self-esteem. In a certain sense, it is an act against humanity.

Thank you.

Comment by Rian_stone on 11/03/18 05:42am

Aka your reputation matters, guard it with your life

Comment by Do_it_or_leave on 10/06/18 04:27am

Thanks, I really needed this.