@arakouzo this makes a lot more sense. It would be a lot better if I kept things casual with her and kept giving her the emotions I am.

The more the opens up about the past, the more submissive she is. She likes me and wants something real with me so she has been portraying herself however she thinks i wanted her to act. A women who wants something real with me want to learn me before giving it all up because she wants to make sure she's doing what you want her to do. She wants me to see her in a certain light and doesn't want me to look at her like a slut, so she won't do slutty with me, at least in the beginning although me and hers sex life started off very kinky and of course she likes bdsm but just because she is a good girl with me doesn't mean she ain't a slut for someone else. That's what I'm getting about her lying to me.

@Amazonforest Let's not try to quantify women with science. This is a human, not a chemical formula.

Your soon-to-be girlfriend was raped at age 15 and spent her 16th year of life sending nudes to men for attention. By age 18-21, she's fucked six guys. You're number six. She spent the first part of your casual relationship keeping things from you and the second part love-bombing you and being unhealthily obsessive. Every time it looks like you're about to leave, she acts borderline-crazy.

And now you're about to commit to her and try to live happily ever after, removing the challenge and emotional roller coaster from your casual relationship. And she thinks this is all she ever wanted, and for a few months, it will be. But deep down, this is not what your rape victim attention thirsting almost-girlfriend actually needs to fill her psychological voids and address her damage.

Meanwhile, you're a poor-boundaries guy looking for validation for this bad choice, and in the absence of validation, you want to start a discussion so you can be not-convinced by it and feel better that our reasoning wasn't good enough for you. You're a 21 year old kid. You're going to have a hard time handling this damaged girl.

Yeah, sure, maybe you'll get lucky and this will go absolutely swimmingly and work out great for you. But these aren't dice I'd want to roll in your place. You're going to anyway, so good luck with it. Just keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to eject. You're important, too. Not just her. And don't get married or get her pregnant. Condom every time.

@arakouzo I understand where you're coming from now. Things aren't like that right now as I tell her no many times. She knows I'm in charge and always take the lead. We already had an issue about her not being honest about her past and i left, i left her place and she ran after me, literally and texted me about 30 times.

I have always been open to a relationship with her but the fact that she kept lying about her past has made it difficult to trust her even though everything has been going well and she's even been loyal without my commitment.

She is damaged, im aware and im not sure how to handle these girls well as i had them before but i just fucked them and left and this one is different.

She hasn't been love bombing me from the start. Our relationship has moved in a steady pace and it just developed into something more. Define love bombing because she doesn't do an extreme amount of that but i noticed the more she likes me the more submissive she is towards me and pleases me

@Amazonforest I'll use shorter sentences. My language is a little flowery sometimes:

You are coming across as the kind of guy who has trouble saying no to a woman unless he has a good reason. A guy whose first instinct is to be nice to women and give them what they ask for unless it is extremely unreasonable.

Your first instinct is not to decide what you want then make it happen, or you wouldn't be here now. This isn't meant as an insult. You're 21. There are guys twice your age who have trouble knowing what they want and prioritizing it, who end up running around pleasing women because they think they're supposed to.

This means when a girl wants a relationship with you, you think that you need to find a reason to say no. For you, thinking "Meh. I can get more just like her or better and have just been sticking with her because it's easy. She's a mess. And I just don't feel like going to all the trouble of a relationship" is not second nature. Your instinct is to start from the idea that you should give her what she wants, then try to see if there are any good reasons not to, and if you can't find any, give her what she wants. You don't love this girl. You're 21. You barely love yourself. It's just easy to stick with her versus stringing her along, risking losing her, and finding more women.

Once you're in a relationship, this will turn into you never dumping her and always talking yourself out of it, even if maybe you should, because you think you need a good reason and she hasn't done anything wrong. When she misbehaves, as long as it's not too unreasonable, your instinct will be to see her in the best light possible and find reasons not to dump her.

When she asks you to do or not do something and it's not what you want, you will have a hard time telling her no unless she's being completely unreasonable. When she asks you for something for her, you will have a hard time telling her no unless she's being completely unreasonable.

There's a reason you're hesitant about her past. Your subconscious mind knows what's up, but your conscious mind thinks that it needs some kind of logical and well-reasoned explanation to not give her what she wants. This is a traumatized girl who has turned to male attention to patch her wounds up. The type of attention she's been getting hasn't been filling the hole very well, so she's trying out love-bombing you and going the serious relationship route. It won't fill her hole either, because she's damaged. It's not your fault. It's not hers either. Rape victims are broken, and it sucks, but dealing with her baggage and her past isn't something any 21-year-old guy should be signing up for.