@Typo-MAGAshiv My point being that a cat doesn't punish me for treating her well and developing dislike for me. Yes, I spray her gentle with a squirt gun if she's on the table but aside from that, she's amazingly civilized on her own.

I adopted a street cat "fluffy" about 32 years ago or more accurately, he adopted me. He jumped on my shoulders and I couldn't get rid of him. He followed me around and when I went to work, he would go on his neighborhood patrol but knew my schedule and would come home at precisely the time I did by climbing a tree, jumping on the roof, and going onto the condo balcony to greet me. He liked other people too including the various "sitters" when I would go on vacation. He would sit on my $1000 17" Sony monitor and sleep or sit watching me.

FOUR of those sitters loved him so much they adopted cats of their own. When he passed away after 18 years, he said "You can bury him at my backyard". That friend died of a tragic heart attack and when his widow sold the house, she said: "Your cat is buried here. I'll sell you the home." and I got it at a good price. I am typing this from his office.

Wherever the next life leads, I know he's there waiting for me.

@jprdl I have a Slavic wife and she turned out to be a full blown Soviet Kobieta: harsh in language to those she's intimate with, but slotka with those she is only acquainted with. It's not uncommon for her to say: "I hate that bitch Kasia! She gave me these nice chocolates and now I have to buy her something even MORE nice! I'll show her! Off to Poski gourmet!"

She gripes I don't do enough housework but I imagine if I did, she'd probably bang a biker gang. Nonetheless, I do certain housechores because I always have but if she does more, that's her problem. For example: I do my own laundry because I don't want her to muck it up, I fill the dishwasher because there's a certain way the machine has to work, and the recycling has to be sorted (she refuses to learn how to do so correctly) and so on. If she asks me for something, I remind her that there is a Ukrainian word for "prosze" (budlaska) but I rarely hear it. I still tell her each time "pozhalsta".

20 years married. When she stops nagging, that's when I check my chai for poison.

It is astonishing though how us men have to be so cognizant and aware of our own existence, what we need to do, or not do, and so on similar to dating when women act like children and even married, they're still just better functional children, like older teenagers.

I remember a word of wisdom from an Americanized Pole (didn't speak or know Polish) who told me: "Your problem is you regard women as men when they're women. You have to think of them at all times as women". I realize that I simply have to remember they are women. They don't possess the same mentality as we do. I can do this with my cat for instance. When she's unusually human for a cat, and has an almost hyper aware consciousness, I'm amazed and in admiration but I know 10 seconds later, she'll be biting my toes because she thinks they are malo myszki.

@polishknight Polski kolego. This is crazy but women have to feel inferior. Otherwise they are treating you like a kid. Even if she would make more money you have to be in your frame and not give a F.

If you are offering help you are simply selling yourself cheap.

I had one girl and in early days she sent message to me which was meant to be to her girl friend(proved instantly after I told I seen it). But because she seen that I can discard her with one message she started to behave like a slave literally. She was ending most of sentences with "Panie"("Master") whenever we were alone and getting horny. She stopped even caring "what are we". The fact that I wasn't a simp made here ok with anything. Just do what you want to me master it is ok.

Someone else would say he is sorry that he thought she is a slut and she would lose interest in same second.

Want to share a Nice Guy Story:

Took my 7 year old daughter to an activity birthday party being hosted by her BFF's mother at a karate studio. I brought balloons and a gift and said hello to the mother (who was tatted up a bit, but otherwise appeared "normal"). Throughout the party I chatted politely with other fathers and routinely went to the mother and asked if she needed any help with picking up things and cleanup. My daughter later relayed to me that her BFF told her that the mother said I was "creepy". I can only guess that perhaps she thought I was too nice of a guy. I was not intrusive in any manner whatsoever.

So ok, I backed off. I didn't chat her up at all if I saw her at the playground with the kids and when my daughter held her own birthday party at our house, I left her be but nonetheless had a great time chatting with other guests. My daughter quietly relayed to me that I was no longer officially a "creep". One thing my daughter says that was interesting is that her BFF's mother is "Americanized".

While Russian women are (almost) as standoffish as American women, I find, they generally aren't so easily spooked or would use a term such as "creep" against men simply being nice. Perhaps it's because "nice guys" in America are viewed as "creeps" since this is how they try to hit on women later?

Or perhaps, I wonder, if my kindness and helpfulness was interpreted as "beta"? Do women, particularly americanized women, find men offering to help as feminine and therefore repugnant and unable to simply admit (and accept responsibility for this feeling), they simply label such men as "creepy" so that they can complain (real) "men" don't offer to help with chores?

I read a study that men who do an equal share of feminine housechores were surprisingly 50% MORE likely to get divorced than the ones whose wives complain he doesn't do enough.

One of the strongest lessons of the RP for me is how I learned that much of what I want to do, which is be kind and generous to people, often backfires. That I have to view other people much like with my child in that I can't simply be totally honest and kind with her because she might get spoiled and bratty. I love that I can be kind and sweet to my cat and she... doesn't punish me for doing so.