Typo-MAGAshiv

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm sharing that sort of vulnerability is rarely a good idea

It can be done (I have with my wife), but it's usually better not to (I wish I hadn't).

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Eurm

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Typo-MAGAshiv I think you’re completely correct. He was a truck driver and not often at home and I assume that was one of the reasons.

And because of him “thinking” it was a good friend it makes me a little skeptical with my friends too.

Do you think it would be reasonable to talk openly about this with my GF?

Maybe not directly about it tonight because of her ex. But just to make her aware it’s a sensitive area?

It is this again to beta? As you see I’m not a typical red pill guy

Thanks for all your input!

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carnold03

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm

I decided to stay at home tonight and let my GF meet her friends alone.

Now, last minute she tells me that her ex comes and even wants to drive in the same car. I told her that Its not cool driving in the same car and she can go by herself alone.

Although I still feel strange about this whole scenario. This is the first time she will see her ex after a long time and I'm not there.

What should I do?

Asking for advice

+ Btw she told me honestly she didn't know about her ex and it was last minute

That she's telling you that this is going on up front is good. She doesn't want to imperil the relationship with you in the event you find out about this unexpected turn of events later. Unless she's otherwise keeping in touch with this guy, it doesn't strike me as something to be concerned about. However, it does make me think that you need some hobbies for days like these to keep your idle mind busy.

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Typo-MAGAshiv

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm learn from his mistakes. I'm not blaming him for what your mom did or absolving her, but usually unless the woman is just a hobag who can't keep her legs closed, and if the cheating happens only after years together, the man has made himself unattractive. This is usually through complacency and misguided attempts at pleasing the wife that actually backfire ("yes, dear" type shit). The bullshit conditioning and lies we've all been force-fed for the past 100+ years set most men, including your dad as well as my own, up for failure.

with his good friend.

Someone he thought was a good friend. Betrayal of that magnitude is unforgivable.

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Eurm

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Typo-MAGAshiv love it! Thanks, man. I just wrote a comment about my trust issues and it's stemming from that my mom cheated on my dad with his good friend.

I know it's me and I have to work on these issues. But I wonder how?

I appreciate your comment though because you're 100% right.

If she wants to cheat she will. I can't change that. But the fact that she talks openly about it makes me at ease.

Any advice on how I can clean my wound with the divorce of my parents?

My dad passed away lonely and went spiraling downwards after mom left

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RedPirate751

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm I'm really sorry that happened to you man. It wasn't your fault. Your mom did something fucked up and it hurt you and your family.

Here's something I heard suggested once, can't remember where but its an idea I've tried and it really does help in situations where someone has hurt you badly and you can't seem to get over it. Write them a letter. And I mean really write it, by hand, on paper, and don't hold anything back. In the letter, say everything you wish you could say to them about what they did, how it affected you, ect. Hear me out because I know this sounds wishy washy! Write it all. It might take a long time and that's okay. When you're done with the letter, fold it up and put it in a safe or something.

The point of this is to get it all out of your mind and into the world. You don't have to carry that burden anymore.

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Eurm

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@RedPirate751 any tips on how can I clean out this wound? My dad got cheated on. My mom left with one of his better friends and it still itches me in my relationships

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Eurm

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@RedPirate751 I needed this confirmation. Thanks you legends!

Typo-MAGAshiv

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm what @RedPirate751 said was good.

Also:

I know I should even have to worry about all of this because I should be alpha/

I use "alpha" and "beta" the Athol Kay/MRP way, that alpha is attraction/arousal, and beta is comfort. They're behaviors and traits present in all men, rather than absolute states of being. You need both.

But for your present situation, here's why you shouldn't worry:

  • abundance. She is replaceable.

  • either she is or she isn't cheating. Worrying and stressing won't prevent it if she is, and will likely drive her away if she isn't. The best way to go about things is trust, but verify. Don't go all psycho-stalker, but rather look at any evidence. If it turns out that she is, react accordingly (break things off, no "closure" for her).

top g

Ugh. Please don't do that. That dude's a grifter and a blowhard.

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RedPirate751

2 months ago  The Beer Hall

@Eurm your whole approach to this right now is coming from a place of insecurity.

Looking at your first post, she immediately told you that her ex was going to be there. To me, that says she isn't screwing around with him. If she was, she wouldn't have mentioned him to you at all.

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