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Tue, 11:41pm

Stock Plummets as EssenceOf777 Faces Backlash Over "TIGHT FIT" Statement

In a surprising turn of events, EssenceOf777, a leading player in the mystical realm of cosmic commerce, has found itself in hot water after releasing a cryptic statement that has left investors scratching their heads. The company's recent declaration of "TIGHT FIT" has sparked confusion and consternation among the public, causing their stock price to nosedive faster than a bungee-jumping leprechaun.

Investors, who were previously riding high on the ethereal waves of EssenceOf777's success, are now feeling as lost as a unicorn in a foggy forest. The enigmatic nature of the statement has led to wild speculations ranging from a new line of supernaturally snug clothing to a cosmic conspiracy involving alien sock puppet overlords. As the stock price hovers at $109.83, experts are advising shareholders to hold onto their crystal balls tightly and brace themselves for further turbulence in this otherworldly market.

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