One of the things that Manosphere has really missed the mark on, is girls' cheating behaviour during a relationship. The running assumption is that the moment you turn your back around, she will jump the first squared-jaw guy she will see.

While cheating certainly does exist out there, modern Game theory has evolved beyond that. Whether or not she will cheat on you is within your hand to either influence or see it coming. The mechanism behind all this is frame control.

But let us get everything in line.

The Origins of the Cheating Myth

It is long known, and a fundamental point of Rollo Tomassi, that men hate the idea of being cuckolded. Evolutionary being cuckolded is the ultimate loss for the male. He wastes his entire genetic potential to sire another man's children.

The reasons for the cheating female are very simple. She is optimizing hypergamy, with the real father providing genetic quality and the fake father providing resources. A point we will come back to later is that this model completely ignores the internal madness that it causes to the female (staying with the beta father).

Empirically, this model is accurate enough to describe what is happening to large parts of society. Players discovered it, because they were advertising themselves as the Alpha guy, with the girl jumping them being the wife of the Beta.

With both theory and empirical evidence established, we have the total distortions of the original concepts. Mainstream attention has come to this, with "street reporters" interviewing girls who supposedly fuck 10 guys at the same time and cheat on a dime.

The cracks to the popular narrative

This is a topic that has truth and fiction mixed in, so we have a lot of ground to cover.

It is true, hypergamy doesn't care, and girls will cheat the average Beta no-hoper. But we need to introduce nuance to the emotional mechanisms for her to do so. Unless we are talking about a total psychopath, which exists but is rare, the girl has to emotionally rationalize her behaviour to herself.

This becomes doubly more important when we want to investigate who has a relationship with her. Because the tenet of the PUA theory is to be the Player, the Alpha archetype, not the Beta. Even if the relationship is casual and non-monogamous from your end, for you, who practice Game, the rules we outlined earlier don't apply.

As the Alpha, Sigma, or simply put high-value guy, you enjoy privileges in regards to her sexual behaviour towards you. For the Beta guy, she has no respect, and cheating is easy to ensue. For the Alpha guy, she has respect; she can't cheat if she somehow doesn't degrade you in her mind.

That last line is on the money. It is why frame control matters, and it is why, as (high-value) men, we have significantly more agency than you would otherwise think.

The roadmap to cheating: Betatization

Before we delve into frame control in depth, let us first see how the girl gets "freed" from a high-value man. How she instinctually aims to degrade you, so she can jump another guy.

There is no morality for this. From the female perspective, it is to her advantage to maximize genetic variability for her children. Four children from 4 different fathers, evolutionary speaking, are a better bet than 4 children from one father. For further discussion on this, I refer to the Biology section of this article.

Therefore, the female has incentive to eventually dump you. In humans, this happens through the well-observed Betatization process, which has been described in the book Practical Female Psychology [by Clare, and South]. It is a five-step process summarised below:

• Shit tests: Goal, test boundaries

• Seek communication: Goal, befuddle, and obtain footholds after boundaries have softened.

• Put him to work: Goal, control, and resources obtainment. Capitalize on step 2.

• Evolutionary selfishness: Goal, realization of the male's diminished value, destroy attraction for him.

• Self-determination: Goal, free herself from the relationship (or cheat), "I am my own woman".

As the authors put it, this is a psychological death for the human male. Cruel, but at least not as cruel as the Mantis or Black Widow sex behaviour, where they eat the male as they mate.

The realization is the following: if she has sex with you, at some point, you had value in her eyes. How fast you will go with the Betatization process is on you (and your life in general, not only your Game). If pieces fall into place, this process might never complete. She will cheat on steps 4 or 5, this is when she becomes emotionally free to do whatever she wants.

Therefore, we know have a model to explain frame control.

Frame Control

I encourage the readers to remind themselves of the true definition of Frame, as this is a term that has been distorted in the Manosphere lately.

A quick summary follows: Frame is the mental concept of reality in the eyes of the individual. As reality is subjective, Frame is subjective and thus open to being influenced by other agents. For women, with a strong innate preference for emotional communication, controlling the frame is a skill of connecting your worldview with emotional feelings appropriate for her.

Therefore, your long term goal in the relationship is to not be Betatized. On a practical level, you have to resist the process outlined earlier. Your progress on that process is measured by her emotional reactions to you, on the axis of Male dominance - Female submission. In plain English, how keen and interested she is towards you. The real value both of these concepts hold is power, which indicates the relative Value imbalance (behavioural, built, and innate) between you and her.

Everything together

In the relationship, the female's attacks ultimately manifest in attacks on the male's self-esteem. They are attacks on respect. Her respect is measured by (positive signals):

• How much agreeable and,

• Keen she is to you

And the opposite of how little (negative signals):

• Commanding,

• Nagging and,

• Disagreeable she is to you.

The point here is that both aspects will happen at the same time. From your end, you need to be ultra-sensitive to the negative signals and turn them into positive signals. Remember that frame ultimately lies in soft power, so there is a correct and a not correct way to turn things around. Eventually, negative signals reduce to generalized shit tests, so take inspiration from the collective PUA theory.

I repeat, that it is not a question of not having negative signals; by the laws of female sexuality, these will come. The longer your are dating, the more those will intensify. This is nature telling her she needs to switch partners. However, every situation should be manageable; the only question is how much you want to invest in the interaction.

That is why spacing out meetings is so valuable. Simply put, boundaries (phase 1) cannot be tested if you are not next to each other. That is why familiarity breeds content at the deepest level. That is also why dread game is sometimes advocated. The space between meetings will feel those with dopamine (expected reward chemical) and leave less time for the Betatizing process to start. The sweet spot is around 2 times a week, with 3 on special occasions.

The fruits of frame control

We now do a full circle. The girl won't cheat on you unless you have been Betatized. No matter how nagging she is, she won't cheat as long as you handle the situation properly.

The corollary also holds that when she is about to cheat, the negative signals will intensify. If you are sensitive to those, you should be able to tell when it is about to happen. It is not magic, it is observation.

Finally, the nail in the coffin is access to sex. Under normal relationship rules, she shouldn't be denying you sex, unless there is an obvious and objective reason. You should be able to tell that reason exactly because it is obvious, for example, heavy period. But ultimately, you will be able to tell that reason vs to how the current situation is (that she denied you sex) relative to the bigger meta-frame of the relation.

Because if she ever denies you sex, except under the most extreme situations, the relationship is over. You are Betatized, and you won't be able to turn it around. Better end it sooner, before the whole thing explodes in your face and hurts you emotionally more. Remember, Betatization is a process of psychological death. The end of the road is you feeling like garbage.

Supreme frame control

Contrary to everything we have described, there is the reality of masterful frame control.

Some people confuse masterful frame control with value discrepancy, but the real interaction is that frame control is easier if you have greater value than her (soft power is easier to impose).

This is the world where the male does whatever he wants. There have been multiple cases where I have openly told girls I date others, and after a few days of them being indecisive, they decided they don't care. In one extreme case, I was dating a girl and her best friend at the same time. I was subtle, but both girls were in full knowledge; they just... didn't care.

Do everything correctly and the limits of female sexuality are truly unimaginable.

Standard Manosphere advice aims to target the first stages of a relationship where the Betatization process is yet to take place. I agree with that advice overall; it is easier to swap girls than commit to an increasingly nagging or inquisitive one. However, the latter is also possible, as showcased in this article. Go on, friend, the world is your oyster.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find more here: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/blogposts/

Attainable Mid Syndrome

Post is dedicated to Senior Endorsed Contributor and good friend @MattyAnon who originally explained to me a few years ago why mids don’t like being approached by attractive men at the clubs.

Phenomenon

Guys often ask why women who are generally considered 5's or soft 6's (on the standard attractiveness rating scale from 1-10) are generally bitchier and more unpleasant when approached, even when the guy is attractive and he logically concludes that she should be happy to be approached by an attractive man, when she is only just a mid.

Likewise, men often ask why such women have such an audacious entitlement complex, often boisterously demanding they deserve a man who is six feet, six figures, six pack, six-inch p.... portfolio, even though there isn't any discernable reason why they deserve those things, have even earned such opportunities, nor have match capability with the very men they assert that they deserve.

Rarely do you see a similarly unpleasant or brazenly entitled high 6 or above woman, and if anything, those women are actually generally a lot of fun and pleasant to date. But how could it be, that when 5's or soft 6's are actually approached by the very same attractive men they claim to be God's grace of the Earth to deserve, that they often immediately whip out the bitch shield and even preemptively reject these men out the gates, often foregoing even a token shit test he can try to pass?

Male Perception

A lot of men find enjoyment in the mid because they perceive them to be easier and unintimidating - attainable - compared to other women, because they are mid. There is also an overabundance of mids to go around. Rejected by one? Well, there is yet another mid within the vicinity somewhere else, often within spitting distance. Also perceived as good "practice" to men who are learning the ropes with nothing to lose.

Thus, the average mid is often a temporary pump and dump, some guy's Tuesday or Wednesday, or not even on his radar to begin with. The only men who generally prefer the average mid as a romantic option - aka long-term dating - are men who are looksmatched to her because he is also a 5 or soft 6, or worse, the man is a high 4 or below who pines for her unrequited love as his best "option" that he has.

Mids are still women though, they are hypergamous and don't like to settle with same-level men.

The other appeal of the mid is that - while she is not viewed as very inspirational or a woman men yearn to have - she is still more appealing than firing up The Hub or going for a true slump buster (a 4 or lower). Men don't need to be drunk or desperate to be willing to bang a mid, and none of their buddies will shame them in all the group chats for hooking up with one.

Diagnosis

Attainable Mid Syndrome (AMS) is characterized as a learned defense mechanism and internalized set of personality traits that are developed to protect mid women from being the lowest perceivable common denominator for short-term suitors and bad dating options who are either looksmatched (4-5 looks men) or hypergamy matched (6-7 looks men) and who primarily want mids for recreational use only.

This defense mechanism ingrains a developed jadedness towards the quality, or lack thereof, of suitors who do not meet the standards or long-term goals that mids have as women.

AMS is also characterized by an impulsive or obsessive desire to flaunt sexuality or increase their perceived sexual market value (SMV) by multiple points with makeup or other temporary faux sex appeal cues to snag the attention of men well beyond their SMV bracket, as if all men care about is sex.

Additionally, they may resort to demanding entitlement to things they can't earn, yet feel they should have, through hollow attempts to convince the world of what they are owed. This manner of cope serves as an obnoxious attempt to escape the endless cycle of being the girl who is good enough to get but not good enough to keep for most quality men.

Development

Apart from developing AMS from repeated pumps and dumps by men out of their league and unworthy serious "options", mids often develop AMS from high-volume approaches in single people environments where they are hit with waves of endless, unserious thirst and undesirable slop approaches.

For instance, mids are bombarded nightly by waves of stammering chucklefucks and their pet retards with the worst conceivable opening lines you've heard in a club with the delivery of breath five PBRs deep, while her more naturally attractive friends get better suitors. Afterall, unlike her more attractive friends, the mid gets YOLO spammed because she is in her natural plane of perceivable existence as easily "attainable", and often presenting herself all dolled up as Chad Bait, which has the unintended effect of looking slutty and more accessible for the night to every other guy.

It is even worse on dating apps, where lower mids see 2,500+ likes in two weeks or less of firing up a new profile with four bathroom selfies. The mid does not even have to try on apps to even get hawt matches, yet men will still swipe on her like crazy. Men are not afraid to swipe left on a mid, though. She will be hit with a disproportionately higher amount of "wyd?" and "want to come over?" DMs while guys choose their strategies more carefully on more attractive options.

Prognosis

The bombardment of undesirable legions of slop attention and slop romance makes attention itself become anathema to the mid, as the act of approach in of itself has been classically conditioned to activate webs of disappointment and confrontation neurons in her brain, resulting in chronic bitch shield and feelings of deserving more for perceived hardships and unmet expectations after being told she's "pretty" for years.

Ironically, the bitch shield and delusional standards cope of an AMS-stricken mid only further lowers her statistical odds of finding potential hypergamously satisfying suitors who also find her to be relationship worthy because she has become an antagonistic and uncooperative bitch without the looks to offset it.

The AMS mid therefore inevitably takes misguided corrective steps to acquire and sustain more attractive mates. She plasters makeup on and hypersexxes herself up with gimmicks as if all men care about is sex, which inevitably backfires because eventually her makeup and her bougie, seductive clothes must come off, causing her SMV to plummet instantaneously, akin to men opening a fluffy bag of potato chips only to realize that 80% of it was vacuous air and shameless false advertising.

This manner of cope serves as an obnoxious attempt to escape the endless cycle of being the girl who is good enough to get but not good enough to keep for most quality men.

Side Note: Women with Late-Stage AMS will often rightfully conclude, even if subconsciously, that they were never actually that pretty, but wrongfully conclude that the viable alternative to dating by appealing to great men is to girl boss and get a degree to be closer to high value career men, as if men care about that.

Side Note II: With Terminal AMS you usually see these mids reach levels of contempt and misandry where they pump out toxic TikToks and Insta reels about how all men are "trash" and other slop tropes as cope, a surefire indicator of severely untreated AMS.

Treatment

The mid who is afflicted with AMS inevitably enters an endless cycle of becoming even more jaded and disillusioned with the dating process, doing anything BUT raising her relationship market value (RMV) to attract potential suitors. For trying to overexaggerate her SMV to escape her natural SMV bracket is always the wrong move with predictable dating end results.

I. The only viable, long-term resolution for AMS is to instead raise RMV over shallow SMV manipulation.

II. Requisite self-reflection is needed to escape the cycle of pump and dump mediocre results, the AMS mid needs to grasp that she can, indeed, appeal to men's senses by being a great woman to a man without jaded gimmicks, and that success is possible.

III. The mid can make herself more femininely beautiful with subtle makeup instead of slutty makeup, use more feminine hairstyling, wear clothing choices that project feminine presence and energy, and acquire more feminine hobbies. By offering genuine peace, satisfaction, and femineity to men, she paves the way well for her improved dating success.

IV. Rather than the mid embarking on her villain arc against men and entrenching herself even deeper into feminism and misandry, she can politely decline bad approaches, many of which will be less frequent with visible RMV upgrades. She can also especially self-select out of shitty venues like clubs and Tinder. She can also avoid congregating with angry, disappointed mids to keep herself from relapsing.

V. Daily doses, taken as needed, of lowering one's expectations is a critical step to honest self-reflection and a requisite starting point for meaningful results, dating improvements, and authentic happiness.

Diagnostic Criteria for AMS

Attainable Mid Syndrome (AMS)
Personality Disorder
(Cluster D: delusional, desperate, disillusioned)

Diagnostic Criteria

A. A pervasive pattern of defensive behaviors and internalized traits in response to perceived romantic inequities, beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts, as indicated four (or more) of the following:

1. Learned defense mechanisms to avoid being seen as the "lowest common denominator" for short-term sexual partners.
2. Internalized jadedness toward looks-matched suitors who fail to meet hypergamous standards.
3. Impulsive flaunting of sexuality to compensate for perceived shortcomings or insecurities.
4. Use of excessive temporary enhancements (e.g., makeup, deceptive clothing) to elevate perceived attractiveness.
5. Sense of entitlement to unattainable romantic or social benefits.
6. Chronic feelings of being trapped in a cycle of distressing male attention.

B. The pattern causes significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning such as interpersonal relationships.

C. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back at least to adolescence or early adulthood.

D. The pattern is not better explained by another mental disorder (e.g., narcissistic personality disorder).

Specifiers

• Mild/Moderate/Severe: Based on number of traits and impairment level.
• With hypergamous features: Emphasis on unrequited romantic expectations.

~VRX

I wholeheartedly agree with this woman. Men are just fundamentally bad people. I am one, so I would know about how bad and evil we are. To make up for my male privilege, allow me to list a few toxic archetypes of men.

Men who don't date 39 year old women. Any man who isn't willing to date a 39 (or more) year old is shallow, superficial, and pretty much a pedophile. Men who don't pay for first (and second, and third) dates. This type of men are selfish, stingy, and might even be low-income losers. Men who do not offer commitment. Any man who isn't married should be trying to wife somebody up. Men who don't want marriage are always damaged. Men who don't do what you say. Any man who doesn't listen to his woman is toxic. After all, in a relationship, the woman is always right.

Ladies, if you are currently seeing a man who fits one or more of the above, you should break up with him, and set him free. You deserve better than these bad men. Let those useless 22 year old bimbos take him off your hands.