@Durek_The_Bald

The respectability of cheating Vs. chasing:

Men who cheat on their frigid spouses are generally looked upon less favourably than men who keep chasing their frigid spouses. Not only by women, by other men as well. And not least, by themselves.

Granted, the guy who keeps chasing will feel bad about himself from a "value" point of view. And other people will see it as kinda pathetic and sad. But it won't be an issue with morality, ethics, or respectability.

Meanwhile, the guy who solves his problem by cheating on his wife will think of himself as a piece of shit. Other people will tell him he's a piece of shit. And if he asked online: "Hey, my wife doesn't want to fuck me. Should I cheat on her?", the answer will pretty unanimously be: "No don't cheat, cheating is the worst".

But is cheating really "the worst"? Is it worse than to keep soliciting for sex - covertly and overtly - someone who's already made it abundantly clear she isn't interested in you in that way? More dishes, more date nights, more back rubs, more communication. It's like the guy at the pub who keeps coming up to this chick who keeps rejecting him, trying to talk to her, trying to order her drinks.

Now, we all know this doesn't work. And even people outside this space increasingly know it doesn't work. But that's not my point. My point is: Is it even acceptable behavior, compared to just cheating? Is it more respectable behavior?

I would argue not. I would argue that cheating is preferable to chasing - not just from point of view of " what works" - but from point of view of which type of behaviour is more respectable, and morally sound. If the guy who keeps taking his wife on date nights doesn't feel like a piece of shit - and nobody else is telling him he's a piece of shit - why should the guy who simply cheats be seen as piece of shit?

In order of more to less respectability and moral/ethical soundness, I'd rank the three typical solutions to married men's sexual frustrations like this:

1. Leave
2. Cheat
3. Chase

That would depend on which of the most common motivators for entrance into marriage apply, such as:

• A sincere to form a family and spend the rest of their lives together.
• Deceived into marriage, as part of the females wealth building strategy.
• If the groom believed maintaining a romantic relationship with that specific female was worth marrying them to begin with.
• If the groom entered into marriage out of the misplaced idea that they had to do right by the child she claimed he sired.
• If the couple see their marriage as a medium through which they might engage in some type of marriage 2.0 experimentation.
• Or if the marriage is a total sham, so that either party can gain access to government, employer, or clan provided benefits.