In a turn of events that left investors scratching their heads and reaching for the nearest air purifier, Woodsmoke stock, trading at a lofty $517,939.05, plummeted today following a controversial statement from the company's CEO, @Typo-MAGAshiv. The industry, known for its innovative approach to turning ordinary logs into high-tech gadgets, found itself engulfed in flames of public outcry after the CEO confessed to a dilemma of epic proportions.

The now infamous tweet read, "@Typo-MAGAshiv I keep waffling between buying meme numbers of stonks from every user I see vs. spending every fck I own on my own stock and going full DIAMOND HANDS for the lulz." As confused investors tried to decipher the cryptic message, Woodsmoke's stock price went up in smoke faster than a damp log on a bonfire night. With memes flooding social media and internet trolls having a field day, it seems Woodsmoke's future is as hazy as a room full of burnt marshmallows.