Day Update

Today I have slipped into cocky and fun quite natural just by not being outcome dependent.

Sharing some reports of how this has affected my interactions.

I decided to wear nice clothes. Trimmed my beard and hair. Eyebrows.

A married woman I'm friends with is often good practice for gaming. I beckoned her over and she hugged me. Kissed me on the cheek and started massaging my shoulders. She's very physical with a lot of people in the office. She stopped so I said "You can keep going" in a playful way. So she kept massaging my shoulders.

A new colleague was getting trained. She gave me IOI. We chatted and I just spoke to her like a guy. With a little bit of banter. She said "I get the vibe that you are trouble". So I just laughed and smiled at her. Looked her in the eyes and she smiled back. Started biting her lip.

I also remarked "You'll want to sit here again" and she said "Yes, definitely." We are on the top floor and have gorgeous views of the city.

I said "It's the views that make you want to sit here."

She gestured with her hands towards me and said "Yes it is" and giggled.

I've also had more interest from girls I walk past and talk to.

With male colleagues, I've had more offers for drinks and social events outside work.

Overall, I didn't use any effort. I was just myself. The results are pretty noticeable

The past week has been transformative.

I have been doing a lot of reading. Thinking. Looking into my life.

The Book Of Pook really shook loose a lot of things for me.

The fact that my interactions have largely been desperate and that I have been tailoring myself somewhat to be liked.

That I have exhibited fear of loss, inadvertently leading to needy behaviours that become a self fulfilling prophecy.

That I have allowed my purpose to degrade since lockdown. That I'm sort of aimlessly drifting in a hedonistic bubble, maximising pleasure and minimising pain.

That my life is the dictator of me. When it should be the other way around.

That I can genuinely lose anything, have anything happen and know I will survive. If I lose my gf, then it wasn't going to work and at least we didn't end up stuck together. If I lose my job, yeah I'll struggle for a little bit but there are other jobs out there.

Tongue in cheek when I say this, the scary thing is I feel completely calm. Like I accept whatever happens and also incredibly in tune for the first time about what I want and what I need.

@TwoInchesOfShaft

I took your advice on board. Took a break from TRP forum. Here. Watched some Rian Stone. Read The Book Of Pook.

I can see that the way I have been approaching things was entirely askew.

In my desire to try make her feel happy, make her feel sexy, make her (x) I lost track of the fact that my own needs and goals are what matter most. That I can focus on myself while still having fun and that being selfish is not a bad thing.

I've also realised that unlike before, my frame has changed drastically. When we met, I was cool. Chill. Fun.

I've internalised a lot of the stuff. I'm focusing on my needs now. If she is disinterested, I do my own thing. If she's interested, I'll engage but I'll also do what I want to do. If she isn't being sexual one day, I'll do my own thing and engage sexually if I want to.

Appreciate all the advice and the point in some direction.

@Liqurdsnake

It was a mutual break.

Mutual break usually means the girl got bored. The guys I know who had a “mutual break ups” were devastated and didn’t know where it came from.

I thought about that. I think it's having come across the red pill and struggling to come to grips with how I've perhaps been beta. At times. That I've shown beta behaviours and that the times I've had issues, were in my control but I just didn't see the problem.

When you first come across the red pill, you only see the beta shit you’ve done and you start believing “Damn, I got this beta unattractive bitch in me!”, then you start freaking out and make everything worse. Then you start acting alpha which makes everything way worse, but at least you are not getting used anymore. Then someday you come around to it that alpha does not mean asshole and even later you realize that the beta in you is even needed!

You don’t make friends without the “beta” traits, you can’t have relationships without beta traits. Functioning long term relationships are 60-70% alpha behaviors and 30-40% beta behaviors. You are in a LTR.

Now get TF off TRP and chill out. Watch Rian Stones YouTube channel and go over to MRP if you wanna do something in that direction. In TRP, you find too many way more unsuccessful dudes than you in the anger phase. You got a bitch that wants to fuck you kinky style, probably more than one until now, so you likely already have alpha traits and social skills many early TRPers don’t have. So chill out, go step by step.

@TwoInchesOfShaft

First off. You should make that clear the first time it pops up in a relationship that contact with exes is a no go. You didn’t, so that’s on you, get it done when she’s back.

I'll get that done when she's back.

Second, when girls are on their period, they are in bed and on their phone.

Valid point.

Third, how the fuck is she gonna bang you when she’s in Italy? So how is she supposed to react to your snarky beta comment?

There wasn't any other way to react to it. It was a beta comment. In hindsight, I shouldn't have made it.

Now that that’s our of the way. Did she end the relationship or him? If she ended it because he was being a beta bitch, there’s nearly no need to worry. If he cut her off because she wasn’t enough, that’s potentially gonna be a problem.

I don't really know all the details. It was a mutual break.

In my opinion, you are getting good signals from her besides the ex boyfriend stuff I can’t judge because I don’t know the circumstances. I just know, as a guy who has beaten out several other guys in my life, that the biggest mistake one can make is be an insecure little bitch. Unfortunately the manosphere and TRP are making men act like that because when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. The PUAs always had this on us (I mean basically they are a branch of TRP) that they were not that worried about these issues.

This is where I'm at. I've been dealing with a lot of over analysing. Like you say "everything looks like a nail". Today, I had a think through my life so far. The things I could lose. Almost stoic exercise. I realised that the irony is the tighter you try to hold something, the more likely it is you will lose it. I also realised that if she did cheat, if we broke up in the future, worrying about it won't change it. Worrying won't help.

Look, hypergamy is monogamy. Are you her best option? I think so, she at least acts like it. You said she’s doing great as a GF, she’s giving you gifts, she obviously thinks you are hot as well. So why the fuck do you now go down this rabbit hole of alpha chad stealing your girl when there is no alpha chad?

I thought about that. I think it's having come across the red pill and struggling to come to grips with how I've perhaps been beta. At times. That I've shown beta behaviours and that the times I've had issues, were in my control but I just didn't see the problem.

You've given me the shake I needed. Thank you

@Liqurdsnake First off. You should make that clear the first time it pops up in a relationship that contact with exes is a no go. You didn’t, so that’s on you, get it done when she’s back.

Second, when girls are on their period, they are in bed and on their phone.

Third, how the fuck is she gonna bang you when she’s in Italy? So how is she supposed to react to your snarky beta comment?

Now that that’s our of the way. Did she end the relationship or him? If she ended it because he was being a beta bitch, there’s nearly no need to worry. If he cut her off because she wasn’t enough, that’s potentially gonna be a problem.

In my opinion, you are getting good signals from her besides the ex boyfriend stuff I can’t judge because I don’t know the circumstances. I just know, as a guy who has beaten out several other guys in my life, that the biggest mistake one can make is be an insecure little bitch. Unfortunately the manosphere and TRP are making men act like that because when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. The PUAs always had this on us (I mean basically they are a branch of TRP) that they were not that worried about these issues.

Look, hypergamy is monogamy. Are you her best option? I think so, she at least acts like it. You said she’s doing great as a GF, she’s giving you gifts, she obviously thinks you are hot as well. So why the fuck do you now go down this rabbit hole of alpha chad stealing your girl when there is no alpha chad?

Her family member apparently is sick, she’s bleeding from her vagina and you are worrying about a 5 day trip. Could you calm down, reach in your pants and check if your balls are there ?