4y ago The Man-Hood
@Aurelian I think that the same way physical muscle is unmistakable and there's only one way to look big and strong, social muscle is similar.
For example, nobody actually respects the "quiet, stoic individual" who sits in the corner making "piercing and consistent eye contact". That guy is creepy and strange and is not well-regarded socially. Everyone wonders why he's not talking to anybody and what his deal is. Men who try to pass themselves off as the strong, silent type are usually socially awkward men who fear social rejection. Social cowards. And they are frequently treated that way.
If you are not social, your social muscles are weak. Nobody cares about a man's "social awareness" if he's socially weak. That's like a scrawny man who's knowledgeable about the gym but doesn't actually work out.
Read More4y ago The Man-Hood
@CainPrice Definitely a component of modern masculinity.
Though, this muscle can be flexed in a variety of ways, no true one size fits all. Some men get away with flexing it as a quiet, stoic individual. Piercing and consistent eye contact and measured movements. Definitely holds social awareness and internal control, probably gives people he interacts with the tingles. On another hand, the man who's standing up in a group to toast someone, crack some jokes, full of smiles and a booming laugh who can light people up also has that muscle. Probably gives people the tingles too.
Common elements I think is awareness of the dynamics in these interactions, and enough self control to maintain behavior in it to assert that they are leading the interaction, or at the least, are not sacrificing control of their own behavior due to the whims of the dynamics. A bit more nuanced to pick apart the "alpha" modes in this topic, but probably at the bottom of it all is confidence and embracing the vulnerability of a social interaction with raw individual personality.
Would you agree on the idea that this muscle takes different forms? What would you consider to be common elements if so? Perhaps if men on this site looking to improve themselves master or practice those common elements, their personality and natural inclinations take care of the rest to flex that muscle.
Great posts!
Read More4y ago The Man-Hood
@CainPrice A very interesting perspective on perhaps one of the more frequently faced decisions for men today - the use of vices in one's life.
To be brief, what your questions immediately summoned in my mind was the character James Bond - someone who knows his way around luxury and classic vehicles, can create and order a cocktail from one's mind without hesitation, and is able to fluently order high end champagne and caviar for room service (all of these are seen in Craig's Casino Royale). However, though he indulges in these worldly experiences, he maintains a cold, hard, driven focus to execute his mission and defend his nation through espionage, homicide, and sabotage.
Although he is a fictional character, and there are caveats to my simplified summary above (a rocky comeback in Skyfall, arrogance from too much drink), I do believe there is a capacity in which man can have a fluent, confident understanding and execution of these vices/enjoyable experiences (ones that may not essentially lead to a focused/disciplined life) and maintain absolute control.
Which, tying to your second scenario, is a translation of that hard, driven discipline. It differs in that it opens some wiggle room in that interpretation to utilize these vices and experiences as assets, not costs or risky ventures.
i.e. A man who skydives regularly, can order a liquor/cocktail at a bar and know what he's drinking, sleeps with a woman that is attractive though somewhat "risky", and builds up a book of exciting stories. All, while not losing sight nor priority of his ultimate mission and goals. He's ripped, maintains a clean diet, manages his investments and income, works in the C-Suite, all while having this rather debonair background of exciting, exclusive, and somewhat risky activities.
To be honest, most men today would probably do much better from approaching your secondary scenario first, and establishing a bed rock of driven goal accomplishment and mission building, before creating and expanding a knowledge of the luxuries of life. Else, its a very quick and easy slope downhill into over-consumption and addiction at the cost of one's goals.
Do you think that such an individual is, like Bond, fictional? Or can one muster the control and purpose to approach and indulge in vices without trading their goals for them?
I appreciate your posts and writings thus far in this Tribe. Please keep them up!
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