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carnold03
3d ago  Ask TRP

@HMbomt

I'm basically asexual and a girl I haven't had sex with is aggresively pushing for exclusivity

I think I've got a bit of an uncommon situation. I'm not interested in sex - though I've got a few fetishes, pussy tits ass don't do nothing for me. Even though I've been in a couple of ltrs and had a couple of ons, I'm technically still a virgin and practiced only non-penetrative sex.

About a year and a half ago I started texting and hanging out with a girl who was an acquaintance for a long time before that. Because she really is different than all the women I've ever talked with, extremely smart, educated, can talk to her for hours, we hit it off great from the start, and there was no indication of anything sexual or romantic happening between us until I made things official with another girl a couple of months later (lmao). She jumped on me one night and I cheated (I broke up with the mentioned girlfriend after that), and from then we've been hooking up regularly, with me avoiding penetrative sex by telling her that I cannot be in a relationship with her because of a reason I can't disclose (the reason being my sexuality), and that us having sex would unmistakably lead us to a point where we're practically in a ltr.

As time went on she's been falling more and more for me, and it's reaching levels which are threatening to ruin relationship - she called me last night and aggressively pushed for answers, asking if I'm seeing anyone else beside her, to which I answered no (probably fucked up, managed to dance around that question when it was being asked in the months prior) and she told me that the moment I touch another girl is the moment we go our separate ways. A month ago she told me she "doesn't want to know any details about what I do" and when I mentioned that, she told me things have now changed and how "we haven't agreed upon seeing other people". She had this bitchy attitude different to the usual "pleaseee don't ever leave me" persona she carries, probably influenced by her girl friends or those female version red-pill type validation clips I've seen her watch. I told her I'll be honest and inform her when it happens and hung up.

Now, I'd like to get us back to the point where me being with other girls does not imply us never talking again, either by establishing the frame present before that call, or even by us going back to being just friends, if either of those are possible. The initial instinct when considering the latter is probably revulsion to that idea, but keep in mind that I'm mostly asexual and mostly aromantic. I'd be satisfied never touching her again, especially if it means she can remain in my life, as she really has grown to be something like my best friend.

Keeping it on the safe side, I think what I can do is continue texting regularly until she comes back home from college, and when we meet up in person explaining how it's essential for saving our relationship that we stop hooking up, sprinkling in some comfort like how much I like and care for her but that we simply cannot be together. On the other hand, I'm not sure she will really have the guts to leave even if she finds out I do things with other girls but I don't know how or whether to test it. I know this situation is completely retarded and it's my fault I've ended up here in the first place but I'd really like any help. We're both 21

Stop being a retard and consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

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