@Machiaspinner

Am i paranoid or i need to trust my. gut feelings

Hello everyone , hope you are doing very well .

I am really in a fucked up mental paranoia right now , your advice would help that will really sooth me .

I am with a LDR for 5 months now , she pushed for exclusivity many times (Not by the talk) but by removing all her dating apps , saying her Pussy is mine , i own her and tries to please me sexually and non sexually (Cooking etc ) etc... I gave it a try , not saying we are exclusive but i acted like we are , i dropped my 2 plates too without saying anything (I outrank her massively on SMV level ) , in addition i pay for all dates because she is a student .

All was good , because at the beginning i wasn't paying attention to what she does or she says , a plate is a plate .

Now as things became more serious , i pay more attention to texts timelapse and i feel like my oneitis is creeping in.

I tracked her ovulation phase , it's those 3 days , and by coincidence she vanishes for 9 hours (Not working , not studying this week ) , and respond when she is at home (because her parents rarely let her sleep outside) , says she was with her sister shopping , a female friend visited her and they went out and tries to keep the conversation with affection , emojis etc , good night .... I dind't buy this shit and the paranoia began AWALT.

Adding to that , she said she will send me nudes to recharge me for the next time we will meet , and she didn't (I didn't ask for them or said anything) .

To be honest i didn't sleep well 3 days in a row , i keep my sanity by running every night . I am really sure in my deepest guts this bitch is cheating (There can be no coincidence of vanishing and her ovulatory phase without cheating , the problem is i don't have a proof .... LDR ) . My dread is on point , minimal affection , coldness after thoses vanishes , she tries to keep conversations , double texts etc ....

I took a decision that i will end this mess , keep lifting and work on my career . Honestly i can't plate her , oneitis is creeping in , to restore my plates i need time , and if i open the relationship , i will be more hurt (Seems like she has many backups she is actually cheating with) .

Now , we arranged to see each other the next week (she will come to my city) to stay together for valentines and her birthday .

So i prepared a revenge plan (Beta trait but that will appease me at least ) , i will fuck her one last time , have good time , lovebomb her , do all naughty things i think of , then when i drop her at the train station i will send this message to: Hey babe , i think this long distance thing won't work , it's better to stop it now . Wish you all the best / Then go ghost without closure .

What do you think guys of my paranoia and if it's justified and my revenge plan .

You guidance and advices are very well appreciated .

"As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see."

― Gaius Julius Caesar, Commentaries on the Gallic War

I don't understand what benefit you gain in spending time and energy planning this Birthday slash St. Valentine's date with your LTR-LD-GF to just blow it up afterwards, because you're paranoid she might be seeing someone else. If you two haven't agreed to being exclusive, then focus on enjoying the time she spends with you during this date, wrap your junk, bang her brains out, then send her home with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.

Consider taking the time to actually read The Socio-Sexual Hierarchy and stop concerning yourself with doing what you believe an alpha would do. Make the time to accept that you're not an alpha, and that it's perfectly find that you never were. Don't concern yourself with if she's exclusive with you, until such a time as you're able to be around her regularly to observe her behavior firsthand.

Contrary to your current thinking, seeking revenge on others for perceived slights is gamma behavior, not Bravo/beta, and this isn't the first time you've hinted at that side of yourself.

While not at the top of the hierarchy, bravo/beta's and delta's are invaluable as they provide the knowledge and skills essential to making sure society functions as smoothly as it does. Focus on being the most capable competent man you imagine you could reasonably be. Simply because you don't see yourself at the top of yet another hierarchy, doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

@Machiaspinner

Situation handled well or not?

Hello guys, I need some outside perspective on a situation.

I’ve been in an FWB situation with this girl (22 yo student , low income family , 7,5/10) for about 4 months. I was vetting her for a possible LDR (even though I know LDRs rarely work). She travels to see me often (1 hour distance).

She’s feminine, in my frame , cooks, sex is good and available on demand.

I still live with my family due to their health situation. Because of that, I’ve been paying for all dates and also covering logistics, which adds extra cost.

For 4 months, the dynamic was smooth and low drama. No demands, no pressure.

Things shifted when Valentine’s Day and her birthday (same week) came up. I voluntarily suggested a plan: a nice restaurant and stay together for the week-end (because I wanted to, not because she asked) , i also had the idea to give her something cheap as a gift. During the discussion, she said: “You still have time to think about the gift.”

That line immediately hit me ( give an inch, she wants a mile) . I told her , then paying for a diner doesn’t count as a gift and it’s nothing so i need to bring a gift in addition, that’s it? She said she wanted a gift to keep and remember me. I told her it’s strange that she needs a physical object to remember me, and that if the dinner isn’t seen as a gift, I’d rather cancel it altogether. She backtracked—“No, the plan was perfect”.

I ended the conversation and shut the topic down. This situation really made me angry althought i stayed stoic on the outside.No woman has ever told me to bring a gift.

Did I handle this situatiln correctly ? Should I demote her to a plate (even though she’s currently my only one , scarcity ..)? Or is the correct move to walk away completely.

Thank you a lot folks.

She tried to manipulate you into getting gifts in addition to a costly meal out. You squashed that effort. Only time will tell whether the situation was handled well or not, but situations like that are an unavoidable part of relationships. Sadly, all females do this and you'll have to be prepared.

It reads like what you need to do is conclusively sort out what kind of relationship you've presently got with her and what sort you want to actually have. Whether it's friend with benefits, long distance relationship, plate, or something else, I leave for you both to figure out. You don't need our permission or approval whatever you decide. However, if she's not someone you've any interest in being exclusive with you shouldn't celebrate birthdays, Saint Valentine's day, or other holidays with more than a card until they're constantly introducing you to everyone they know as 'my boyfriend' on their own initiative.

Study the book. If you're planning to relocate elsewhere, it's probably for the best you cut her loose though. It frees you both to pursue the locals wherever you plan to be without concerning yourself with someone you can't physically be there for.

@Machiaspinner

Is it possible to plate o former oneitis(severe) ?

Hello everyone, I'm in a dilemma right now and I'd appreciate some direction.

An ex (a carousel cock rider) was the source of a severe oneitis back in my BP days. I never fucked her , was weak at escalating, swallowed a lot of lies, and she already had massive sexual experience when I met her.

When the oneitis hit rock bottom, I decided to break it off and fully focus on self-development. The breakup wasn't easy, but it paid off. I got back in shape, learned game, improved professionally, and started spinning plates. After that, she tried to get back into my life. I gave her a chance, escalated properly + solid make-out this time, and she showed signs of interest. But when I tried to close, she suddenly said she needed commitment and that she wouldn't fuck until marriage because she was "done having fun" (classic say from a CCR).

I told her I wasn't looking for anything serious. She said she loves me that’s why she wants me to commit ( Best beta she knew , but i changed untill then). I soft-nexted her. Later, she reached out again saying she wanted to travel with me , clearly trying to secure a beta-bux situation: invest resources first, maybe get sex later. I ghosted her. She tried reaching out three times over the following year. No response from me. Now, two years later, she sent me an invitation to her graduation. She's 26 now, so yeah she hit the wall.

Currently, I have one plate and one FWB. I'm wondering whether I should give her a chance, attend the graduation, reopen communication, and plate a former oneitis ( who knew me when i was in my BP days) , or stick to the rule: "don't dig through the trash." Has anyone here successfully plated a former oneitis without falling back into old mental patterns?

Thanks in advance.

That depends on the guy and the sort of relationship the couple had. Unfortunately, neither you, nor the relationship you describe, suggests that's much of a possibility. Though you're free to try your luck.

You're just going to have to accept that she had her chance and blew it. There are more worthwhile things a guy can do with their time and energy than retread old tires.

Study the book. Resume blocking her from your contact points, cut ties with anyone who tries to reintroduce her into your life, and keep moving forward with your life. Let her suffer alone as you find your next cum dumpster elsewhere.

Best of luck to you, regardless of what choice you make.

@Machiaspinner

Is it just a matter of time untill this plate will break

Hello everyone

I've been seeing this girl for about two months. She lives in another city (1h by car) where I have some friends, so I only go there once a month. She's 21F, around a 7.5/10, and the first dates went really well , she showed interest, escalation was smooth.

On our second date we made out, but I had to go back to my city. She later came to visit me, I invited her to dinner, we hooked up and she spent the night. I saw her again when I went to her city, we slept together again.

The issue started when I told her I had a “surprise” for her. What I meant was that I was going to give her a very good time in bed , and I did , she complimented me at bed but who cares she can say this to everyone . She later mentioned she was “waiting for the surprise,” and I got the impression she was expecting something material, which I’m not doing.

Then she reached out again, saying she wanted to come to my city, but she kept pushing to know exactly what we were going to do and if it gonna be more interesting than last times , almost like if my plan didn’t impress her, she wouldn’t come. I told her to come and discover, but she kept insisting. After that she sent me some sexy picture in the lingerie she was wearing last time , and asked me if i miss the red cold , i liked the picture and told her i like red color and looking to see what she gonna wear next time in order to not seem needy .

Looking back, the problem is that I positioned myself as a provider. She’s a student, and I paid for all the dates and now she’s pushing for more. She does show some qualities for an LTR, but since it would be long-distance, I’m questioning if it’s worth it especially that she is hypersexual.

So now I’m wondering: Should I see her one last time and close it properly, or should I just walk away and consider this plate done (She is the only plate i sleep with i have now ,but i'm seeing other girls , scarcity...) ?

Some guys come through here claiming to be banging overseas, while many don't. Whether they are or not isn't the point. What you might consider long distance for yourself, another guy might at worst see as just a mildly tedious commute, as such, 'long distance' won't apply in this situation due those variables. In time, you might be able to realize more convenient fornication opportunities, but I don't imagine you achieving them with this chick without some serious headache.

For now, you should study the book and limit how much time a month you spend on her. This female being a college student usually means that she's both sexually more experienced with guys than you are with females and earns a low-income, so whenever you take her out her empty purse shouldn't be a surprise.

That you value your professional time and energy differently than your personal time and energy is the problem, which is why so many guys position themselves as a provider. Unfortunately, the situation is that your game is inferior to this females ability to manipulate men. Your willingness to spend time communicating with her remotely, expend energy traveling by car to spend time with her, and your eagerness to host her at your place not only revealed your level of interest, but also made her aware that she's got no competition for you.

That she's been willing to travel to your place suggests that so far you haven't done anything to kill her interest, which is good, but you should definitely listen to your gut and continue engaging other females so as to create abundance through stacking plates. I'd also suggest that you seriously reconsider how you value your personal the time and energy differently than how you value the time and energy you spend at work.

@Machiaspinner

Is this plate broken?

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing great. I have a question: did I mess things up with this plate, or should I just consider it broken?

I’ve been seeing this girl, 23 years old, for about five months. She’s a real virgin, shy, feminine, and assertive. For those five months, I basically put her on a pedestal. My morality kept telling me not to escalate, thinking that since she’s a virgin, it wouldn’t lead anywhere and would be a waste of time, even though I know that AWALT.

Despite the clear high interest she was showing me, I kept it cool and made no move. Recently, I finally decided to escalate with kino and kisses, and she was receptive. But after the second time, she said she wanted to talk.

She told me she wasn’t expecting things to go that far, especially since we had known each other for five months and I hadn’t made a move until now. She also mentioned that I come off as a bit arrogant and hard to deal with, probably because I’ve been maintaining my frame and giving her only occasional validation. She added that she just wants to enjoy her time, because i mentionned in the past that I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, which in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have said.

Honestly, she’s right. Waiting that long to escalate was a weak move on my part. I tried to cover it by saying “good things take time,” and she just laughed and accepted it . But deep down, I feel like I triggered her anti-slut defense, and now I’m wondering if it’s best to walk away from this and accept that the plate is broken.

Morality wasn't the problem. You simply lacked the confidence needed to escalate. That you lacked this confidence for five months is a bit alarming.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing great. I have a question: did I mess things up with this plate, or should I just consider it broken?

I’ve been seeing this girl, 23 years old, for about five months. She’s a real virgin, shy, feminine, and assertive. For those five months, I basically put her on a pedestal. My morality kept telling me not to escalate, thinking that since she’s a virgin, it wouldn’t lead anywhere and would be a waste of time, even though I know that AWALT.

Despite the clear high interest she was showing me, I kept it cool and made no move. Recently, I finally decided to escalate with kino and kisses, and she was receptive. But after the second time, she said she wanted to talk.

She told me she wasn’t expecting things to go that far, especially since we had known each other for five months and I hadn’t made a move until now. She also mentioned that I come off as a bit arrogant and hard to deal with, probably because I’ve been maintaining my frame and giving her only occasional validation. She added that she just wants to enjoy her time, because i mentionned in the past that I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, which in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have said.

Honestly, she’s right. Waiting that long to escalate was a weak move on my part. I tried to cover it by saying “good things take time,” and she just laughed and accepted it . But deep down, I feel like I triggered her anti-slut defense, and now I’m wondering if it’s best to walk away from this and accept that the plate is broken.

@Machiaspinner

Hey guys , I won't say i have a great experience in dating but i am trying to improve my game. The solely problem i had recently is with a girl with daddy issues and much trauma , she is an attention seeker by degrading herself. I know her from middle school , and from nowher she reappeared and she showed a great interest in me i could feel it , attached from the go . She was trying to manipulate me with all the techniques, love bombing , mirroring effect . She didn't know with who she was dealing , i let her do her game . When i tryed to escalate the game , she seemed shocked ( Bizzare). Then i thinked morally of her as she was really dealing with family and financial problems, i could easily manipulate her . But i chose to tell her that we should finish the relationship, seems like she wanted a LTR , with the fear of abondonement she had , she couldn't accept that untill i told her i know all the manipulative techniue she was using ( dumb me ) and i could manipulated her if i wanted to . I feel like i have done the right thing just to not hurt her , in the other side i feel like i could do better and have sex ( she had a geniune desire ). What do you think guys , did i did the right choice or i fucked my cards and i should get over it.

Never tell a narcissist that you know they're a narcissist. Once they know you know, they'll do everything in their power to destroy you. They'll turn friends, family, relatives, employers, and anyone in your community who knows that you exist against you. Just ghost them and let them suffer.