@MeMyselfAndMyBeard

I have to live on minimum living wage for 5 years, what to do with dating life?

Hi, I (38M) lost my programming job (due to a manic period because I'm bipolar) and now I'm drowning in $100 000 in debts (due to former gambling addict). I have no other choice than to apply for debt settlement with The Swedish Enforcement Authority ("Kronofogden") and will have to live on bare minimum living wage for the next 5 years (accommodation paid and $620 for living expenses). My expenses will rougly be:

Housing (rent + electricity + internet): $1140

Food & groceries: $200

Transport (subway card): $100

Fitness & health (Gym membership): $30

Mobile & subscriptions: $40

Miscellaneous / entertainment: ~$250

Total: $1760

I'm a programmer so I earn quite well (~$4000 a month) but The Swedish Enforcement Authority will take anything above $1760 from my salary and put it into debt payments. My hobbies are krav maga, social dancing (WCS), gym and I'm learning to make music with Ableton (with hopes of becoming a music producer one day). My dating life right now is pretty bad, though I can get dates from Tinder (I have quite good facial looks - I'm probably a 6.5 - 7). I'm a bit overweight (178 cm/5'10, 92kg/202lbs, BMI 29) so if I got in shape I'd probably get more dates. I've just started learning daygaming (with the help of Nick Krauser's book) but no luck there yet.

As you can see I will only have ~$250 a month for "fun activities". Is this enough for dating? What should be my focus these upcoming 5 years? Just getting hookups through Tinder/daygame because a relationship is more costly? Or find a frugal girlfriend who is happy with just Netflix dates? I want children one day, but not until my debts are paid, so not until I'm probably at least 43. What are your thoughts?

Mainly that you should consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Given your age, if you don't limit yourself to other Scandinavian females, you should be able to do well for yourself in the dating game. If you're a divorced father, you could even bump yourself up to a solid 7 or 8 thanks to pre-selection working in your favor with relationship seeking females.

Thankfully I'm not a Scandinavian and being as you're already middle aged I think it's more likely that you already know what you want to do with yourself, but need encouragement in charting your path. To that end, it may help for you to get yourself two sheets of paper, a pen, and do the following.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general starting with what you've shared with us. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, keep it someplace you won't forget. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, resume, or start over. Best of luck to you.