Is the RP a lie? (Repost for debate after deleted in AskTRP)

This will be a long one.

Everyone knows the story: the guy likes his high school friend, she says “let’s just be friends,” and dates the athletic guy. Fine. But an uncomfortable amount of RP “theory” seems to be built on from that one common scenario.

Now look at the broader reality.

Put 30 students in a classroom. The large majority—80–90%—will date, hook up, and form relationships without needing a philosophy to guide them. The “LJBF” scenario applies to a minority, maybe 10–20%. And even within that group, give it a few years. By their early 20s, almost all of them have figured it out through normal social exposure. No endless self-optimization loop required.

So what actually separates that minority? Often, it’s not some deep, immutable flaw. It’s context and visibility. One stop being invisible.

In my case, I went through rejection and bullying in school by 14. Then I did a taekwondo presentation at that same school. Suddenly people knew me. Girls talked to me. But nothing fundamental had changed—I was the same person. Then i changed school, and people in the new one talked to me as a normal person, and there i saw some "other me's(other students, who already had their "place" there being ostracized). No dramatic “self-improvement arc.” Just a shift in how I was perceived/was placed.

That’s where RP starts to go nuts: Most people don’t “win” dating through strategy. They grow into it by being socially integrated. They end up in normal, stable relationships—and if not stable, friends are enough to say "wake up, break up".

Meanwhile, RP turns dating into a permanent grind: optimize yourself endlessly while developing a generalized rage at women, usually based on slices of past experiences. There’s no finish line—just more “work” and more resentment when "it's not working"/"she don't want you but other".

Look at the content ecosystem: half “go to the gym,” half “look how women are. If you are not getting it, then you go back to grind” That’s not a framework for success, it’s a feedback loop trough despair.

So the real question is:

Why does one group move on and build normal lives, while another stays stuck analyzing the same early experiences for years? At some point, it stops being about reality and starts being about identity (aka basically all Youtubers nowadays, 50 book volumes of the same author, blaming "the system", etc.)

Trough observation, and filtering ask TRP answers, people don’t need a doctrine to date with a bunch of "iron rules". They just need effective exposure and a functional life, including a social environment where they can flow.

@brazilianxof

Doing stuff "for woman"

So we all say "do for yourself, not for girls". I saw why in my personal life. But what to do when things i enjoy are either solo activities or "at home" ones?

Let's say i want to meet people. I dislike crowded places. When in the gym, i want to workout. So i'll need to do random things for other people, taking with me the "starving dude" vibe. And solo because my friends are all caged by wives. They don't walk two steps without them.

For ex. I was thinking about joining Crossfit, a Dance or Trekking groups for socializing. But i know (we know) it's for woman. How do i enjoy life this way?

There is a video where Bronn and Jaime Lannister are talking about "an army of men without cocks". And it's very reality-check. All we do is pussy-driven.

m. youtube.com/ watch?v= ZAMYXp8jE9o

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRHzm-wPTr8

Study the book. As a man, you'll never know what strength of discipline and character you have until such a time as you can tell a beautiful woman 'no', and stand firm in your refusal regardless of what attempts to sway you to her thrall she might otherwise employ.

As for activities, try meetup and eventbrite dot com, or the events listings on your preferred social media. There's not much you can do solo, that there aren't groups actively involved into doing socially.

@brazilianxof

Is it weird/cringe to target a type? And, is it stupid?

The reason i ask is becausa i want to bang some asians, as objectifying as it sounds, i just want to. And, given their usual preferences and my fenotype, i"m usually not their type.

I wonder if this a damaged way of going forward and increases the odds of pedestalizing

I also was watching "Industry" show and that Marisa Abela has a body...... So, you see, is this "simping" bad?

Being a wimp tends to be a pre-requisite to being a simp. Regardless, you're voicing concerns over a non-issue. Women are women, regardless of their ancestry, though I can't say guys often openly declare a growing interest in jewish females.

Study the book and engage with females as you see fit. You don't need our permission or approval regarding your choices. Just be prepared for any likely or potential consequences. The only difference in how you regard foreign females compared to the ones you've been involved with in the past, should be with a mindset of not repeating past mistakes and you should do fine. Outside of that, try to keep your enthusiasm for the exotic under some control.

@brazilianxof

35 and thinking i can't make up for the lost time

Profile: 35 my, 1.86m. I make now and finally 10k a month steadly, after making no shit from 0 to 30 and some shit from 30 to 35.

I have my own middle class car and apartment.

For the past year i had a thing with a girl, that i thought was more than a "joke". Yet, she started coming up with rules, after telling stories that why she made those (ex: i dont do this because once i did and didnt go well - translation i did with other guy but you go wait over there).

The last drop was she going dinner with a dude who told her, me, and all the world he wants to date her. Although is a fat old (like 65) dude who is a work colleague, i had already expressed my opposition to this friendship, because of his overtly said intentions. After that and i saying i'm "done", she sent something basically as i'm just being annoyingly pushy and stupid and tried do make me feel bad for the guy. Well, i said basically the "stay well" and "be gone", with no more than 5 words or so.

Now i'm here at 35 rusty and i don't even know how to go flirt anymore. To be honest i feel old and ridiculous at doing so.

TLDR i feel old ugly and rusty. Im 35 and no hair. Yes i'm in shape but woman at 35-40 gap are married or traumatized and with the 25ish i feel weird

On average most relationships will end in break-ups. Some of it is due to what we've done, but much of it will also be due to what the other party did as well. Better to find out that you and her weren't compatible now, rather than after several bitter years of marriage with children, like so many other guys do.

It reads like you've got a good idea where things went wrong, both in your mate selection, and how you handled the challenge of your relationship while working to earn 10k R$ a month. I'm confident that you'll take the steps to not repeat the bad things and build on the good things you learned during that relationship. If you haven't done so, consider adding her contact info to your tech/telephone block list, packing up anything that reminds you of the ex to give to charity, and take the time you need to process this change in your life.

When you've finished mulling over things, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.