as i get older i notice my erection quality has gone down. erections aren't as strong or don't last as much as they did when I was younger. during sex, I could edge for hours, or cum multiple times and be just as hard. now i can go for maybe 15-20 minutes until i start slowly losing my erection and eventually just go flaccid. i.e. the problem isn't getting hard, but rather staying hard.
i only ever do bodybuilding style weightlifting for exercise; i heard that cardio (both steady state and interval training) is where it's at for sexual health, because from what i gather erection quality depends on your cardiovascular system. also, i heard kegel exercises may help. i'm also not taking any drugs or prescription meds atm. diet seems ok too: red meat, fish, eggs, dairy, fruits, veggies, mostly legumes for carbs. sleep is ok: 7-8 hours daily. stress could use some work, i do get a lot of stress lately.
those of you that developed issues with erection quality, how did you fix it and what was the culprit?
If this is a serious concern for you, make an appointment with your doctor. If you have a personal trainer, ask for questions to run past the doctor when you see them. If you're lucky, you'll be able to get more pump in your pecker by simply better balancing your workouts with some cardio. You might also want to ask them both regarding useful health and fitness #books to check out.
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those of you that had a problem with chasing external validation: how did you fix it?
i have a need to be accepted by everybody, and often that need clashes with my principles, like i'll seek validation from people that i fundamentally don't respect, like gossiping low-class women and liberal beta men. i also have trouble with frame. for example, if i'm dealing with a feminist clique at work, at first i'll understand that they're just shitty people, but after a while i'll start doubting myself, whether i'm in the wrong.
personally i have no other solution than just keep on keeping on: stay away from bad people, don't fold and try to become their bitch, even at the cost of them shitting all over me, and maybe overtime i'll build tolerance to their toxicity. i also noticed lifting weights doesn't help. i wish there was some mental button that turned me into a narcissist who doesn't give a fuck what these people say. keep in mind, most people i deal with are ok and go about their business, but the shitty people make sure that they're the loudest and most impacting.
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
― John Lydgate, Abraham Lincoln, & P.T. Barnum
Reads like the problem maybe tied to lack of self-confidence on your part. Thing is, self-confidence usually grows as a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper and a pen.
On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.
When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.
Best of luck to you.
Read MoreShe slept with another guy when we were on a break
Long story short, she was travelling out of country for a couple of months and found out I was messing around with other women. We fought over the phone, made up, but fought again a few days later and stopped talking for two weeks. Called her again, she said she thought we’re not in a relationship anymore and that we can discuss it after she comes back. A month passes, she’s back home, we get back together. She says she hasn’t been with anyone after me and so we became very serious, eventually plan for a future together. This was many months ago. Today I found out she actually did fuck a guy during those two weeks. I did tell her when we first started dating that I won’t take her back if she ever slept with anyone other than me. What should I do with her? I know that I can’t in good conscience ever be serious with this chick anymore, but she is very submissive, a fantastic fuck, good conversationalist and intelligent. I’m considering the following options: 1) break up immediately, 2) tell her I forgive her and nothing changed but actually look for a replacement while still fucking her, 3) tell her that we can still be together but from now on I’ll be seeing other women, while she still has to be exclusive with me. I imagine she will lose any respect for me if I continue as if nothing happened. Her main point is that she thought we were done and never getting back together, but after that last call after the two weeks and after fucking that guy she realized that “she still loves me” and didn’t fuck anybody else for that last month, which of course she could be fucking dozens of guys because she also had tinder installed and claims to have only used it to get attention.
Study the book and take this as a lesson learned in why you don't take ex's back. You two will always remember the discordant things that prompted you to end things. Sure, you can bang from time to time, as you both feel inclined, but whatever the relationship was, will never be again. She had her chance and blew it. Move on.
Read MoreValid reasons for LTR to decline sex?
Yesterday my LTR declined sex for the first time. We were at her place, she cooked dinner for me, was submissive and otherwise behaving well. We moved into the bedroom, started doing foreplay, but after I got her bra off she said she didn’t want to do it tonight. She said that her head and body ached, that she hadn’t showered and that she had to get up early. I didn’t react emotionally but got up and left. At the door she asked me if I was mad, but I told her no, kissed her good night, and told her to go to sleep and to get her chores done tomorrow morning because I’ll check.
Her period was coming up and she has some exams which she’s worried about, and just seems on edge lately. In fact, I did see her taking Advil due to premenstrual cramps in the days leading up to this. She’s been combative with her roommates, and she appears to be trying to hold it together for my sake when I’m around. She tests me sometimes but I shut that shit down and she goes back to behaving.
I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also don’t want this to become a trend. I’ve read through other posts regarding this issue and users warn about “valid” denials of sex (due to period, etc) being a slippery slope leading to invalid denials and using sex for manipulation.
She’s out of her prime (26) and she knows that I have other options on standby. I believe my SMV is 1 or 2 points higher than hers, and the margin is increasing as time goes by.
She sent me a good morning text today, reiterating the period as the issue. I believe I should respond warmly (so avoid no contact), as she already has insecurity issues, but maybe give it a week before I see her again.
What would you suggest?
Edit: I have access to her phone and geolocation.
When one plate brakes it's best to not bother gluing it together in some attempt to fix it. Better to accept the loss, clean up the mess as best you can, throw the broken plate away, and get another.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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