@destraht When I think of vacation, I'm thinking of taking a break from the full-time work that I am doing right now which isn't paying as much as I think I should be earning. I already have things in place that sets me up in a better position professionally. Freedom from my full-time work gets me that time.
I imagine myself spending that time to rest leisurely, either finishing the books I want to read, continue learning languages I haven't poured time in, catching up on friends and network. I think the most important thing for me to do is to finally spend that time alone, reflecting and facing emotional baggages and resolving internal conflicts that I have.
Why is it tough for me to face my feelings and shit right now? With being so busy and tired all the time, I just want to sleep. I don't know.
I appreciate your questions, it's helping me explore what I think and feel.Read More
@bloodexorcist my escapism I've tried to be as constructive as possible- I'm pouring myself into work.
The thing is- when I reach my point of exhaustion, I reach illness and tiredness, and when I no longer can work as a form of escape, I face the things I don't think I'm ready for.
I know escape is a means of retreat for preparing for the battle ahead, that's the part that I am having challenges in because I might not have properly framed or defined the problem or mistakes that I've been through.
Thank you for the general advice. I'm trying to stay healthy so I can lift and keep learning.
Balance is what I want. Peace of mind is what I want.
I'm simply stating what my current state of mind is. I want freedom to do what I want (which is to quit work and to reward myself with some vacation time).
It boils down to what I want and what's important to me. I think that would just be taking superior care of myself physically and emotionally. I don't think I have time to do that right now.
Or it might just be my excuses. Idk.
Thought I lost access to my trpred account. Turns out I still have it. Anyway, shit's been tough. Balancing both hope and reality when it comes to people that can be trusted. Life's hitting hard with everyone appearing to either be childish, immature, or selfish. I don't plan on going too hard on labelling everyone as hopeless though.