@destraht When I think of vacation, I'm thinking of taking a break from the full-time work that I am doing right now which isn't paying as much as I think I should be earning. I already have things in place that sets me up in a better position professionally. Freedom from my full-time work gets me that time.
I imagine myself spending that time to rest leisurely, either finishing the books I want to read, continue learning languages I haven't poured time in, catching up on friends and network. I think the most important thing for me to do is to finally spend that time alone, reflecting and facing emotional baggages and resolving internal conflicts that I have.
Why is it tough for me to face my feelings and shit right now? With being so busy and tired all the time, I just want to sleep. I don't know.
I appreciate your questions, it's helping me explore what I think and feel.Read More
@bloodexorcist my escapism I've tried to be as constructive as possible- I'm pouring myself into work.
The thing is- when I reach my point of exhaustion, I reach illness and tiredness, and when I no longer can work as a form of escape, I face the things I don't think I'm ready for.
I know escape is a means of retreat for preparing for the battle ahead, that's the part that I am having challenges in because I might not have properly framed or defined the problem or mistakes that I've been through.
Thank you for the general advice. I'm trying to stay healthy so I can lift and keep learning.
Balance is what I want. Peace of mind is what I want.
I'm simply stating what my current state of mind is. I want freedom to do what I want (which is to quit work and to reward myself with some vacation time).
It boils down to what I want and what's important to me. I think that would just be taking superior care of myself physically and emotionally. I don't think I have time to do that right now.
Or it might just be my excuses. Idk.