Not sure how to effectively summarize my own question but essentially it boils down to:
Is it better to ignore your ego and brush everything off and see people for who they are and that they're just fulfilling their needs (mindset I had when I was doing heavy psychedelics)
OR
Give in to your ego as a strong ego goes hand in hand with a strong frame
This question has been on my mind since I am still clearly bothered by my first ex who I dumped after she was moving shady, I don't think she cheated but she was hanging out one on one with guys, who if I'm being completely honest, did not measure up to me in any avenue and I saw them as quite pathetic. But they were clearly into her and eventually I just got sick of the shit and decided I would rather not date someone who does that, she spun stories and whenever I would figure them out, the lies would get more and more elaborate but whatever that's besides the point.
So I find out one of my "friends" was hanging out with her one on one during the tailend of my relationship and dumped his own girl to be with her after I broke things off. I'm not going to lie, I might have ended things but that's only after I got severely mentally f*cked, I might have not lost frame completely since I had other options at the time but the damage was done mentally. I was raised to be a goody two-shoes and spending too much time with a naturally manipulative person who was a self-described pathological liar gave me migraines.
This "friend" does not come near me in terms of looks or physique, but is probably slightly more socially adept, though he hangs out with people no one cares about.
I've "moved on" since, this was about two years ago and I have gotten with much hotter girls with significantly less mental issues, however I am part of the same sports community as her and that dude. I have a lot of status in this community merit-wise, I dominate in the sport, however she is a pretty girl and the community is full of simps and she's always trying to come watch my games etc. Honestly I would sleep wit her if I didn't know the manipulation and games that would come after, she's just not worth that headache.
That being said, I feel like a dumbass since I didn't even notice they were dating. I never realized this dude I thought was my friend could break bro code and keep acting friendly and dapping me up for months after they started dating. I honestly just want to cold shoulder him now and amog him but I know that's my ego and it's clearly driven by insecurity of some sorts. Maybe it still bothers me since she was my first but god damn I thought I would've been able to move on after 2 years. There have been periods of time where I felt nothing towards them, and once again the feelings are as intense as ever when I was the one giving the cold shoulder last.
I honestly realize this is a pathetic vent, but I'm sick of thinking of them. I'd appreciate any thoughts atp
As it's the season for giving, consider gifting your "friend" a reliable ready reference they can pick up and study to better prepare themself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get them a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you let your friend review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what he aspires for himself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you think he'd like to add to his library. It should also be available on libgen of that link gives you problems.
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