@DancySeattle

Is there anything after emotional cheating or is it over?

TLDR: If she cheated emotionally and now begs for a chance, is it over? Or still playable given I'll own my shit and become better man?

Probably a very obvious question, but I'm so wind up in my head right now I can't see the answer.

I am 33, she is 25. We are together for 4 years and know each other for 5. She is smart and hot, we're compatible. She's the best I ever dated (~50 girls).

I am an average guy, nothing out of ordinary. I lift, I read, I own my shit. Still plenty to improve, and I'm doing it every day.

I checked her phone. I found out she went out with another man a few times 2 years ago. Once a walk in a park, once a restaurant, once shopping. Lots of messages, such as "just wanted to tell you good night" or "do you like X? oh wow". After two weeks she just stopped.

No touch nor night together. We were spending every night together then, and messages clearly indicate there was nothing physical yet. Also, confirmed with her conversation with her female friend, to which she confessed.

Also, she had Tinder installed for an hour or so and deleted afterwards. Several times during our relationship.

I confronted her. At first, she was shocked and denied everything. Then she said she doesn't remember it. I was pressing and she recalled they went places but as a larger group, never just the two of them. She was very upset, crying and begging not to leave her.

After I showed her proof, she said Tinder was just to type with some random people for an hour and then delete it.

She became very emotional, crying and telling me how much she loves me, how much she want to be with me, how much she will do for me. She admitted she did something very bad.

I do believe she genuinely regrets it.

So, on one hand it's fucking cheating and I incline to just break up. But part of me thinks that maybe I should give her a chance? She is one in the million and it was just chatting with some dudes. Or maybe it's just my feelings talking.

What would you do?

Honestly? I wouldn't consider dating a female I'd previously known for a year, let alone for four years.

You know her and the relationship you both had better than we do, and I'm honestly not interested in probing into the specifics of whatever that may have been. Whether you do or don't renew the relationship is entirely up to you. You don't need our permission or approval to do so, but I wouldn't do it. I'd simply forgive her for the sake of my own mental and spiritually health, and moved on with my life.

Regardless of what choice you make, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.