agreed that accepting the double date was a mistake. I haven’t hit her up since she told me she had a good time that night.
What’s the next move, next her or give her a call this week and set up a 1 on 1?
Right now, give yourself a week from the double date to figure that one out. It was a small hiccup that you weren't prepared for. Good news, if any other female ambushes you with first date slash double date with close friends, you now know you can use the stag option.
If you come across her in your day to day, behave normally. If she mentions that she had a good time at the engagement party, keep telling her what you've told her so far. If she takes the initiative to mention that she'd like to go out with you again, I see no harm in striking while the iron is hot by setting a day and time a week out from then, or calling her back with one. Should you otherwise ask her out again, that date will be the one you use to find out if her interest in you is sincere. Be observant for the usual.
In the meantime, consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. If you've already found you'd like to read his book, save yourself a search and give this scribed link a gander.
Read More@drake “call her this week and setup a 1 on 1” … what do those words mean to you?
@carnold03 agreed that accepting the double date was a mistake. I haven’t hit her up since she told me she had a good time that night.
What’s the next move, next her or give her a call this week and set up a 1 on 1?
certainly I could have cancelled the date and called them after to explain. That seemed superfluous considering I wanted to go out to dinner with them and catch up (they just got engaged), despite the date making herself an afterthought for me by making it a double.
I’m Italian-american, we don’t turn down dinner and a few bottles of wine under any circumstance
Italian. I've been told by some that it can be painful. Back on topic though, contrary to what was implied in your earlier posts, the other couple weren't simply relatives of your best friend that you happened to be acquainted with, but are in fact close personal friends themselves whom you and your date shared and wanted to spend time with to celebrate their engagement. You shouldn't have omitted that information.
Regardless, you never accept double dates from women until the relationship is well established. However, you should've countered her double date offer by cancelling the date and telling her that you both should go stag to celebrate your friends engagement without the concern of a date hanging over your heads. Emphasize the point that it should be about them and say it would just be tacky and tasteless to do otherwise. That would've allowed you both to focus your attention on your newly engaged friends at the venue. Freeing you both to, as you're people are known for saying, "fugedaboudit", and just relax with close friends, wine, and pasta.
Sadly, it wasn't the girl who nuked the date, but your own lack of experience and tact which led to this failure. In future, consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. If you've already found you'd like to read his book, save yourself a search and give this scribed link a gander.
Read More@deeplydisturbed I like this strategy it resonates with me. I’m not going to cancel plans on a double date if my date seems meh. There are other dates to be had and being sociable comes with its own benefits.
Cheers
@carnold03 certainly I could have cancelled the date and called them after to explain. That seemed superfluous considering I wanted to go out to dinner with them and catch up (they just got engaged), despite the date making herself an afterthought for me by making it a double.
I’m Italian-american, we don’t turn down dinner and a few bottles of wine under any circumstance
I wanted to catch up with those friends and decided to go despite knowing the chick had suicide vested the date
So, the date didn't matter to you at all. You were trying to preserve the relationship with your best friends brother in law and his GF. I still don't see how canceling the date on the offer of the doubling would alienate them against you? What cultural background are you from exactly?
From my perspective, assuming you've got the brother in laws contact info, you could've called him after canceling the date, and told him that refusing the double date offer that the coy chick offered wasn't personal. Assuming he's a chill guy, he'd have understood and been cool with getting together at another time along with his brother.
@carnold03 I wanted to catch up with those friends and decided to go despite knowing the chick had suicide vested the date
lol at “limited.” Inserting your own facts is not alpha. That’s what children do, dog. You are better than that.
If you say so. Back on topic, what are the dynamics to your social circle that turning down this particular double date wasn't an option for you?
@carnold03 lol at “limited.” Inserting your own facts is not alpha. That’s what children do, dog. You are better than that.