@sigdeff Thats a really good way of looking at it, I haven't thought of it like that. I've heard excitement and anxiety are the same feeling! And thanks haha I hope I'm on the way, I do feel now that I have barely any time for myself I am more outcome independent as I truly do not care if I get a date or plate. If I get one, cool, if I don't means I get more time for myself
@Shortbull Well you're on your way then man, the only thing to do is keep approaching and change your perspective from anxiety to excitement. I learn that was possible by doing stand-up comedy, and am re-framing my feelings on cold approaching by just doing it and losing all attachment to out come.
@Chaddeus_Rex Aside from trap exercises for the base of your neck there is a really simple 'workout' you can do daily. I was taught it in bjj to strengthen your neck by a guy whos beaten ufc fighters and this guy has a good neck so it's pretty legit lol
Lay down flat and raise your neck off of the floor.
Do 30 'yes's (literally nod up and down) without touching the floor. Do 30 'No's (shake your head left to right as if saying 'no') without touching the floor. Do 30 "I don't knows" (right ear to right shoulder, left ear to left shoulder) without touching the floor.
1 Rep of a yes is a full nod, 1 no is starting from one side and finishing back on the same side and 1 I don't know is one ear touch. Sound's easy right? ;)
@sigdeff Yeah I've been lifting seriously for about 6 months now but have been on and off every few months for the past 5 years so I am in slightly above average shape for my age. I have been doing BJJ for 11 months too but I don't do striking martial arts. I wouldn't say I'm not confident but my issues are eye contact and just the act of starting speaking when you've approached.
I can hold eye contact but it just feels unnatural and doesn't feel normal. All I do is just talk as if I was talking to a friend but hold it a split second longer before looking away as I regularly would, I try not to overthink it.
Also I can say for definite BJJ has tremendously helped with my confidence with speaking new people but moreso touching people. I felt so awkward being on top of people in class and touching them - similar to kino escalation before I started - but now with bjj I have learned kino / touching is only awkward if it is made awkward by someone. I don't even think about it being awkward in bjj unless with new people who are awkward.Read More