@AndrewTatesPancreas As I understand you fought this depression for long while staying in the LTR, right? Or was it towards the end?
Regarding my girl, she didn’t ask for commitment straight away, just my expectations. I don’t even remember what I said but probably was too honest at the time. It’s funny how being honest backfired. But I was used to stupid hoes thinking I want an LTR with them just because I said I want them. She was too smart for my own sake. Anyway what’s done is done, I will just have to learn to lie and manipulate more. Thought my SMV alone would pull through.
@AndrewTatesPancreas my mistake was too much alpha game and no comfort. I did not really give her hope about commitment. Or maybe vaguely I did. I don’t even know if she gaslit me into thinking I was this super big douchebag, but I think I was. I was in a wrong mental spot at the time as I was doing lots of partying with other hoes at the time and was super misogynistic. I gave her no chance. 3 months in I cut contact with all other girls.
But you are right. Maybe she would have waited. I don’t even know. Maybe I pushed her buttons too much.
I used to be the most confident guy in my social circle and more for sure. Social with everybody, charismatic, assertive. Life was booming.
Before I broke up I felt losing my masculinity/ego staying with her each day. I became toxic, controlling and unstable, even if I had no logical reason to doubt her. I had to end it. Now I just feel depressed. I do workout, work on my business, sometimes I regain focus and my edge, but overall I just drink alcohol, smoke and want to sleep as much as I can, at least I feel at calm then and not have to face this fucked up shit of a reality. I feel like a total bitch it’s pathetic from the side I guess but I can’t control it.
I don’t even want to game other hoes because this shit emasculated me so much.
Read More@AndrewTatesPancreas exactly. What hurts most is that my actions kind of led to what happened back then, after the talk” she tried jealousy trapping me and I called her bluff and we split ways. I wish I could have given more comfort/hope to her.
It would have been much easier if she broke up with me, then I could know that I was not good enough or something, but now I don’t know whether to work on myself or what. Like a constant mental jail stuck in those early dating stage moments, trying to figure out if she really is a trash hoe (that would allow me to rationalize AWALT and cut it off) or think about my mistakes (in such a way I cannot reconcile). Been stuck in that mental loop for 2 months hence I broke up, even if she tried to do anything to keep me.
@AndrewTatesPancreas found out she slept long ago with someone else back at the beginning of us sleeping/dating when she was a plate after getting frustrated/mad when she had “the talk” on what I expect from our relationship (was uncommitting/avoidant). Can’t recover because I caught oneitis with time due to her superb treatment of me
@AndrewTatesPancreas I needed this advice too. Thanks brother. Do you think one should try to sleep with some girls to regain abundance? Even if mentally I am not there. For me, I left the girl, so it’s even tougher knowing she’s texting me and trying to get back (knowing I fucked up along the way)