@golden_juicebox It will probably take a success or two to snap your reptilian brain out of this pattern. After so many failures in a row it's easy to get stuck in your own head during the act, and find yourself unable to enjoy and fully experience the new partner. Think of it as a firmware quirk of your own brain, not a sign that the woman in question actually is your special unicorn in the universe.

able to get pavlovian style boners for my ex

To leverage operant conditioning toward the extinction of this habit, take a two-pronged approach. Stop ALL positive reinforcement of her in your mind, ESPECIALLY sexual fantasies. I'm not a hard nofap advocate, but make sure you NEVER fap to or fantasize of her again. Work on programming and reinforcing fantasies of other women and situations into your pleasure centers. Second, work on a bit of negative reinforcement. You don't need to hate every ex to get over them, just shift burgeoning wistful thoughts of them to areas where they were inadequate for you for the long term.

Of course you're going to need to have successes with other women, but there's a lot of prep work in your own mind, don't think there's no work to be done, and no progress, between dates with new people.

I remember my first few girlfriends, I'd sometimes see the face of the last one lined up with the curve of the cheek in dim light of the current one. Messed with my head a bit, but experience wore this mental reflex away.

What's up guys. Hope your morning is going well. I have an extremely frustrating issue that's been bothering me lately and hoping someone can give some solid advice.

Since my first girlfriend I had about 3 years ago, I have pulled about 10 other women, and every single time, even though they are pleasing to the eyes, my dick doesn't want to work. It usually goes like this: we go to my room, we kiss, i escalate, yada yada, then when it comes time to actually fuck my dick stays soft. They usually try to suck it and get it erect but that doesn't work either. And if it does get hard momentarily then it goes soft a minute later while fucking.

Here's the caveat: when I occasinally see my ex (once a month maybe) who is not even that good looking by the way, my dick is instantly rock solid and i could literally go for hours if i wanted to....

Soooooo what the fuck is happening to me? It can't be a T issue can it? I am able to get pavlovian style boners for my ex but then pretty much none otherwise, even looking at pictures of women.

Thanks for reading.