@Dorsun > simply nothing comes to mind, and it's not that I don't want to, I do I just don't have anything to talk about I heard some
Talk about stuff that interests YOU
also I read about some flirting tips, here, on other websites but as they are very abstract as to 'you need to feel the conversation' and such it's not very helpful, probably something with my choice of words is not good
this is for later, when you can basically talk.
any ideas on how can I improve this? any tips? books?
Join a public speaking group. It'll push you to be a much better and braver speaker.
@Livinthedream "but how do I expect to get married and have a family?" You fucking don't. Marriage is a shit show for a man. You are motivating her to leave you by financially incentivizing divorce, and it gets worse every year. Do not marry - it is financial and social suicide not just for you but for your family.
@DominicTheTiger With no hope of promotion you won't have any spare money, which will leave you trapped. If you can stick it out at home a bit longer you can save some money first. Basically you need at least 3 months expenses covered so that you can move house / change jobs / cover eventualities. Without this you are extremely vulnerable because your work situation will directly impact your living situation which is a stressful place to be. Chances are living expenses are higher than you imagine, if you've not lived alone before. Food, taxes, bills, repairs can be higher than you think, and if you're close to the bone these can be the difference between saving money and diving into debt and worse. No matter how good a deal this house is, can you find cheaper? You need spare to get savings to get options.Read More
@redpillkings I'd plan for the relationship to end at ANY time. Have a plan (and a legally relevant parenting plan at that) ready for this eventuality. Agree up front what happens when the relationship ends - have adult conversations about this. That way she knows you can pull the plug at any time, and what happens when you do.
The worst case situation should be something that you're happy with.
I like BD's approach to this: blackdragonblog.com/2016/07/28/the-12-steps-have-kids/
But I feel that any attempt is hopeless without a height advantage of a minimum of at least 5'10" - 5'11".
This is a self-defeating attitude.
"If only I was taller" / "If only I had a sixpack" / "If only women were blind and deaf".
There are fuckloads of men your height and shorter fucking beautiful women. Do you want to join them or not?
How to break up with a LTR
Also available with slightly better formatting on my trp.red blog: www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/1034
This assumes that:
Agree to meet in a public place with secluded areas (eg quiet coffee shop). Women can be unpredictable when their ego is hurt and being dumped is an ego bash for anyone. You want her to have to maintain a level of decorum.
Be clear with her
First tell her it's over between you. It's important you state this first. No wavering on this. Use words like "xxxx-girl, it is over between us". No apology, no hesitation. Lack of clarity about the change of arrangements will just increase the hurt and confusion.
Then tell her very roughly why: tell her it's not working for you, it's not what you want. DO NOT BE DRAWN ON DETAILS, say things like "I've made up my mind" and "it's not working for me" and "this is not what I want". Note that this is blame-free but without details. No matter how good your reasons are, this isn't the time for recriminations.
Do not negotiate
DO NOT ALLOW ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION... first she'll press for exact details, then tell you how she'll change in this area, and therefore you don't need to dump her, that she deserves another chance, etc etc. Don't go down this road, don't give details, don't negotiate.
If things are going badly, you can leave at any time. Don't forget that. You've delivered the news up front, so you can just say "I have to go" and walk out if you feel you're wavering, if she's getting too emotional, if she starts lashing out, if she tries to negotiate too relentlessly.
She'll suggest you remain friends, and you enthusiastically agree to this. This will make her feel better. Of course don't actually do it because male-female friendship is one-way and will drain you. You need to get her out of your system and to get on with your life.
Stand up, give her a quick hug if she's amenable, say something like "best of luck" and then get on with your life.
You owe her nothing
Remember this: YOU OWE HER NOTHING. Drum that in to your head before you see her. Most likely you've done far more for her than the reverse, she isn't somehow entitled to your continued help and support. You don't owe her a relationship, don't let her make you think you do.
After that she'll likely try to maintain a high level of contact (ie maximum girlfriend privileges but without sex)... you should gradually fade this out (ie increase the time before responses in order to create healthy distance).
If she goes all stalker (ie making any sort of threats against you) then you cut her off entirely, and ignore ALL contact. The only way to ditch stalkers is to give them absolutely zero response to any contact they make. They almost always fade away over time.
Bonus: optional continued fucking
If you want to continue fucking her (and this is frequently possible), then this has to be done AFTER the new boundaries are clearly agreed (this needs at least a month with no or almost no in-person contact). If she lashes out at you in any way due to the breakup then cut all ties - continuing to fuck her with no relationship isn't going to make her behaviour improve.
DO NOT FALL BACK INTO BOYFRIEND MODE.
Do not be her texting buddy.
Fuck a few other girls before you go back to avoid oneitis.
Good luck with your breakup: I hope it goes as smoothly as it canRead More