@mattyanon

...none of those men ever blamed their jobs for their relationships failure. They all understood beforehand that if the relationship was truly important that they'd do what they could to be available to maintain it. I also never came across a single one of them in denial that they'd willfully ignored the precursory red flags telling them that advancing the relationship with the woman they would take as a wife wouldn't lead to disaster. I thank those men for sharing their confessions in my youth, because it spared me such disaster.

...

Sadly, few of them knew were self-aware until they were served trial of separation papers, nor did many of them understand honor. Only mediocrity, rejection, banishment, and exile. I have little empathy for fools who knowingly leap to their own demise.

But it isn't knowingly. Growing up in a world that pretends to care about fairness and sexual equality, most men think that the courts will be fair on them. Most men believe "this one is special and our relationship is special". Most men believe that their efforts will be rewarded rather than used as evidence of their future alimony payment obligations.

Even on AskTRP where you'd expect most men to be somewhat well informed - many believe that if a woman lies about her birth control that the guy won't have to pay child support. Many believe that "if it doesn't work out I'll just divorce her". Many believe that "I'm sure we'll be able to split time with the kids 50:50" or that "the courts won't believe her lies about violence or abuse".

Most of the divorcees who get screwed by the system did not knowingly leap to their own demise. This is victim-blaming, and it is doing a disservice to men who were lied to and misled as to the nature of the system.

A-Hyuck!

cc: @throwaway_old_guy

@carnold03

I have little empathy for fools who knowingly leap to their own demise

But it isn't knowingly. Growing up in a world that pretends to care about fairness and sexual equality, most men think that the courts will be fair on them. Most men believe "this one is special and our relationship is special". Most men believe that their efforts will be rewarded rather than used as evidence of their future alimony payment obligations.

Even on AskTRP where you'd expect most men to be somewhat well informed - many believe that if a woman lies about her birth control that the guy won't have to pay child support. Many believe that "if it doesn't work out I'll just divorce her". Many believe that "I'm sure we'll be able to split time with the kids 50:50" or that "the courts won't believe her lies about violence or abuse".

Most of the divorcees who get screwed by the system did not knowingly leap to their own demise. This is victim-blaming, and it is doing a disservice to men who were lied to and misled as to the nature of the system.