@n0thing

Broke up with LTR, need advice on getting over it and what mentality to have

This got huge, I'm sorry and thanks in advance if you take your time to read it ??

I read a lot of redpill content after breaking up with my first girlfriend shortly after turning 20yo. Before that, I was extremely blue pill. We broke up because she cheated on me (for a second time) and a week later I was already trying to message her back like an idiot. Thankfully she didn't take me back that time, which fucked me up but it was needed for me to move on and learn.

From there, I started getting better in every way: went from skinny 121 lbs to ripped 160 lbs at 5’7’’, got a job and moved out from parents house to my own place at 21yo, got a high paying job (80k/year) at 23 and a even better paying job (115k/year) at 26 where I still work at. I'm gonna be 28 in a month.

As TRP stated it was going to happen, I became better with chicks by just focusing on myself and progressing in life. I was able to have two girls always ready for sex with me with no strings attached. Got to a bodycount of 20 at 24yo.

Was happy with that life but always missed the "connection" that I had with my first gf. At 24yo, I got to know a woman that was very different compared to the average in her traits, we had a 3 years LTR, the last 6 months I made the huge mistake of letting her come to live with me (failed the iron rule). It went downhill from there and eventually I broke up with her.

Was kinda sad for 2 months but it was easy to "let go". The truth: I never "falled in love" with that girl like I did with my first one. She was not unicorn and I always knew. I just enjoyed our relationship.

When I got better emotionally, I started spinning plates and had 2 girls that were ready for sex anytime I wanted by month 4 post-breakup.

And then, I got to know personally a woman that was a crush of mine since I was a kid. She is 30yo and I'm 27yo. That was a "bad thing" but I didn't care at all because she is the most beautiful woman I ever met. By a large margin. I'm talking about a 10/10 woman, the only 10/10 woman I know IRL: the most beautiful face, with huge natural tits, with good ass, with good body, blue eyes, fuck she's perfect.

On third date I had sex with her and the red pill mindset went to shit. I immediately cut contact with all my plates because this girl gave me hints that she wanted something serious. She had her "party phase" but cut the bs at least 2 years ago and she no longer goes to nightclubs, bars, anything, and she works from home, so she had everything I look for in a LTR candidate.

We started seeing each other A LOT, having a lot of sex that felt magical, I was fucking the woman that I always said was the most beautiful woman I know when asked since I was 17 (never told her that ofc). And we had incredibly chemistry from the start. It washed my mind bad.

3 weeks after first date she's already my girlfriend. (I know, I know...)

She slowly but surely started being more and more controlling with the time, at first I didn't care because everything she asked for I was also getting it in return: by month 2 we had "open phones" policy where I can take her phone and look whatever I want and she can do the same too with mine. (I KNOW!)

To that point, I was real happy still, I presented her to my family, to friends, and even to my work group. I felt my status going higher just by having her at my side honestly. And I was certain about her being loyal, super loyal.

She kept getting controlling to the point where if I didn't answer my phone for 3 hours it was a problem. I had a talk to her about all of that and she understood that it cannot be like that. Or thats what she said. Because she was still making problems for everything. One occasion, I went to the gym and saw an old high school woman friend in there, she went from fat to super fit and looked really attractive, I didn't say anything sensual or anything weird other than (wow you look like another person congrats!), but that was a problem already, not to even mention that girl following me in social media two hours post gym and giving me a like and me following her back with no likes. Made my gf go nuts as if I have done something wrong.

I was starting to feel locked up, overwhelmed. But I was in love with this woman. Being with her was the most awesome thing to do in the world. Even just watching a movie, I was in love, and we always had incredible sex, and her body and prettiness makes it unreal.

Back to the phone thing: I had access to her phone, so, like a retard, I went and checked her conversation with her best friend. From there I confirmed that she was super loyal to me, which was awesome, but also discovered that:

• she has a bodycount of 30 (higher than mine).
• she left the "party phase" as she mentioned to me a long ago, but she was still fucking dudes up to two weeks before knowing me, never at the same time, but she was going from one to another with basically no time in-between.
• I know 7 of the dudes that she has been with.
• The common factor between all the dudes she has been with: They all have a lot of money. I consider myself high money but I'm broke compared to most of those dudes.

That fucked me up in the head. But I wasn't able to say something about it because I didn't have to look at that, and also there's nothing she did wrong being with me (other than telling me she has been alone for previous 6 months before knowing me which was a lie as she was fucking a dude two weeks before me... which is to expect...)

One day I'm working a lot, doing lot of important stuff, forgot to turn off the "don't disturb" mode so I didn't see her messages. Didn't answer for 4 hours. She calls me and starts making a scene.

I saw myself and I noticed: I stopped progressing in life, stopped doing lot of activities I did to spend more time with her, I stopped interacting with other woman basically 100%. And I was in a blue pill relationship again, with a woman that had lots of sex with bunch of rich dudes that never got to be their boyfriend and which some of them are guys I know and have to see from time to time. And I'm paying for 100% of whatever we do together (she makes little money), I also took her to an all-inclusive in Bahamas for a week. I was feeling like the "secure option" for her "settling down".

I said to myself that I was going to start changing to redpill again while in the relationship. At first it seemed to work. I talked her out of the open phones rules, she didn't like it at all but eventually accepted. I started spacing a little bit more our meetings because it was like 5 times per week (she basically slept more in my house than in hers), etc.

But it was still a load. She was my biggest source of happiness, but also she was my only source of unhappiness.

One day she told me that I changed, that she doesn't like it now, that she feels insecure about me because she doesn't think that I wanna have a "100% serious relationship, family oriented relationship like I wanted in the beginning" Up to that part, I was understanding her, because it was kinda true, but then she said "so I think its going to be better to break it off, unless you are willing to commit"

So I told her "you're right... we should break up", she said "so you are not willing to commit?" and I said "If I have to choose right now between commit into a family relationship or breaking up, I choose breaking up. We went too fast and we didn't let it flow enough. I love you and love our relationship but its too soon to commit fully, there are lot of things that we should fix before making a decision like that"

She said then "ok, thank you for everything, I hope you have a good life", kissed me in the cheek and got out of the car into her house. And I left. She immediately removed me from her socials.

That was 4 days ago. We didn't contact each other again. Don't think any of us will.

SO,...

Full posting can be found here: www.forums.red/p/asktrp/324369/broke_up_with_ltr_need_advice_on_getting_over_it_and_what_me

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