"Going to go 2 months at least though before keeping it to celebrations, dates, and birthdays."
Oh dear.
@Vermillion-Rx My dude - why are you not interested in AA?
smells a bit like pride. or stuborness. or you have have some sort of preconception.
now is not the time for any of that.
you can be proud in a few months time, when you can say that you've been sober for 90 days.
Right now, you need to get on your knees and beg for change.
AA are not 'beneath you'. You are not 'too good' for them.
trust me.
Thank you for the support it means a lot!
I'll DM you. I'm not interested in AA but i have a referral to in network addiction services, I'd rather do that
@Vermillion-Rx good for you for reaching Vermy - its a start. A solid start.
DM me if you want - I know we're only 'internet buddies' but I am genuinely wishing you well. Here's a thought to hold on to:
Millions of men have slain this dragon, and you can too. I know you can, and you know you can. People that are inferior to you in every way, have managed to go sober and stay sober. Hold on to that thought.
Now - the first thing you need to do is go to AA. Go to the AA website, find the neartest meeting that is tonight, and then go to it. You don't need to say anything. If you want, just use a fake name. Lots of people do.
Tonight is the night. And all you need to do is LISTEN. And then go every single night for a while. And then go a few times a week. And then go whenever you feel you need to go.
I went one evening in Feb 2008, and I listened, and it changed my life. No, I don't believe in god, or higher powers, and you don't need to. Just go and listen.
But you have to go. YOu know that.
Check in with me now and then.
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Hi all. I cannot express how meaningful the support has been here the last few weeks. I was waiting till I had an action plan here before commenting to anyone.
I have spent the week processing and trying to heal from the narcissist abuse that lead me to getting more severe, but further trying to understand address the demons that have led to the past 2 years of daily alcohol abuse.
Further, I made a promise to be 2 weeks sober by April 18th, which coincidentally is the 15th anniversary of my my first manic episode, funny how that works and largely why i drink.
I am being prescribed naltrexone, which i forgot I was on once to get over benzo dependency. i have a referral to addiction services without rehab. I am more than likely going to look for psychotherapy and i want to try to find more beauty in the world. I keep looking for meaning in ugly people. I want to love myself more.
Thank you for all of the support, taking steps to address the problem it means a lot.
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