@Mate1212 I don't judge it, and I have too, on several occasions.
However (sort of speaking for myself, but also in general), I view going behind a woman's back as a lack of frame, assertiveness, and outcome independence. Possibly also a lack of SMV, or at least confidence in one's SMV.
I think a man who has all these aspects of his life covered, and knows it, wouldn't have a problem straight up telling his wife/girlfriend that he's going to get some on the side.
He'd be secure in the knowledge he could handle the negative vibes without it affecting his mood.
He'd be secure in the knowledge his SMV is high enough that she would come to accept it.
And if shit hit the fan, he'd have the outcome independence to just go "alright, there's the door" if she wanted to leave him over it.
Obviously, there are other aspects to consider - like if you have kids, and don't want to split the family for their sake, or divorce laws that would clean you out.
But that is the baseline of what I'm thinking with regards to men cheating.
Do I regret it? No. It's what I wanted at the time, and it helped me take some distance, keep my mood up, and not to beg for sex. But I do wish I had the backbone to just tell her at the time that's what I was going to do (telling, not asking for permission). I don't have any moral qualms with the act of a man cheating, but I do think it betrays a lack of certain masculine qualities when you can't be transparent about stuff.
It's basically nice guy behavior, hiding your "badness".
Read More@derdeutscher Probably some biology at work. I mean, novelty is an aphrodisiac, familiarity is an anti-aphrodisiac. And 10 times a week sounds like overkill to me.
But probably also some things for you to unpack there. Could be a million things. Not enough kink/filth? Certain unattractive, turn-off-ish behaviors messing with the enthusiasm on either part? Lack of compatibility? You tell me.
Whatever the reasons are though, a dead bedroom is a raw deal for whoever wants the action, but isn't getting it. So it's well worth either taking seriously, or just ending it.
Take home message: if you have sexless marriage, end it before she does. Women cant go on without sex.
Its one thing women wont forgive you..not fucking her. This is one pretty dark shade of red when talking about red pills.
"It's a feature, not a bug". And what a great feature it is. Seriously one of the better one.
Not that I would ever trust some random woman's post hoc narrative on anything (they've got plenty of ways to make themselves unfuckable, and to avoid accountability).
But let's assume for a second the dead bedroom actually was on the guy in question (madonna/whore complex or something); Then yeah, I'm with her on noping out of that one.
People sign up for monogamy, not celibacy. Women liking sex isn't that hard of a pill to swallow. I mean, wouldn't it suck if they didn't?
Read MoreSeriously, what is the whole obsession with clean past?? Something is going wrong in TRP world
What happened is that 'TRP' became a marketable brand that everyone wanted in on; Especially the traditional-conservatives, who had already been losing cultural ground for more than half a century.
So while TRP started out as kind of a "third option" for men (in opposition to both progressivism and traditionalist conservativism), people with lingering blue pill ideals (a.k.a trad-cons) started making efforts to forcefit TRP into their line of thinking.
Add to that incels, and what have you, and there we have the state of TRP today.
There's nothing wrong with growing a strong, emotionally fulfilling connection with another human being. You don't need anyone's permission to continue with your girlfriend, let alone to justify or validate the relationships you keep to anonymous nobodies like us
Preach.
Yikes, sweaty. Let's unpack this.
1) He was drunk and could not consent.
2) you deceived him into thinking he was f_cking your wife. Lying by omission is still lying.
You need to be on the s_x offenders' registry. You need to be in prison with the other r_pists, where you can all have your little r_pe parties with each other.
Anyway, congrats on coming out of the closet.
@Durek_The_Bald I used to find it fascinating, but it reminded me of when I was at my lowest just before my unplugging. Then I just found it anger-inducing and depressing.
One thing I've noticed, though, is that almost all of them have the same roots to their problems.
he got fat
he conceded on too many things, making himself look like a wuss in her eyes and thus unattractive
her hormones are out of whack and she needs hormone therapy
she got fat
he's gay
she used to deny him, and he checked out to the point that he doesn't want to fuck her anymore (whether or not he's fucking anyone else)
AITAH for accidentally raping my wife's boyfriend?
Background:
Me (m32), wife (f39), married for 7 years, two step daughters (hers, 2 and 4, but I love them like my own), wife's boyfriend (m52). Once a week I get to snuggle up with my wife, and spend the night in her and her boyfriend'd bed (I normally sleep in the guest room).
Issue:
The other night, it was time for our weekly snuggle fest, which includes us sleeping naked together. But sometime during the night, her boyfriend came home drunk, and decided to have his way with her - which is fine, he's got free access to her whenever.
But on this particular night, I must've fallen asleep with my ass slightly outside the blanket, and he mistook my ass for my wife's ass. So in his drunken stupor, he went on to have sex with me.
Now, this is where I might have been the asshole - not just literally, but also figuratively. Because, although I didn't consent to it, I also didn't protest. I guess I just didn't want to cause any drama, and to be quite honest, I guess I did enjoy the attention too.
The next morning, all hell broke loose when my wife found out what happened. At first she accused her boyfriend of cheating on her. But after I explained what happened, they both turned on me, and are now accusing me of having raped her boyfriend with the inside of my asshole.
Now, I do admit that I was in the wrong for not stopping it, and not letting on that it was actually my asshole he was fucking. I also take full responsibility for the fact that he was drunk, while I was sober, and that he therefore wasn't in any condition to consent to anything.
In my defence, it wasn't like I was the active part in it. I just sort of froze, didn't know in the moment what to do, and just let him have his way with me. I'm generally conflict shy, which I know is a me problem, and not an excuse for what I did. But maybe it's relevant, I don't know.
AITAH for accidentally raping my wife's boyfriend?
Update: I took the advice of Reddit, and have started working a second job in order to pay reparations for what I did. I've also reported myself to the police, but so far they don't seem to be taking this case very seriously (which just goes to show the kind of rape culture we live in).
I'm sorry to all of you for even having asked whether I was the asshole in this story, and I want to thank you all for checking my privilege, and setting me straight. It's becoming increasingly clear to me that I have a lot of work ahead of me to rid myself of my internalised toxic masculinity. I've already booked an appointment with a therapist to start working through these issues.
Once again, I'm so sorry, and I'm so ashamed of myself.
Read More@Typo-MAGAshiv I find that entire subreddit to be extremely fascinating. Everything from what some people are willing to put up with, their dysfunctional world views, and to the (mostly) terrible advice they give eachother. It's like having a looking glass into blue pill hell.
As for the guy above, I don't think anyone who isn't willing to satisfy their spouse sexually can have any complaints when the spouse then gets it elsewhere. I don't discriminate between man and woman when it comes to that.
Not that I wish that sort of life on anyone, or deny it being a sad state of affairs, but the guy basically dug his own grave.
Interestingly enough, that subreddit is pretty much even split between men and women who just can't get laid by their spouses. You'd almost think it would be mostly guys, but no.
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