WTF did I just read? 2.5 minutes of my life wasted that I cannot recover. Thanks for that graphic representation of Shrek screwing. I now feel dirty like I was talking with a politician.
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WTF did I just read? 2.5 minutes of my life wasted that I cannot recover. Thanks for that graphic representation of Shrek screwing. I now feel dirty like I was talking with a politician.
An 'IG model' is a whore
I was 37 years old, and trying to cheat on my wife with an IG model.
This was at the worst part of our dead bedroom period, and this IG chick was very responsive to all of my comments.
One thing I noticed, though: just like my wife, this chick was jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
One day, she gave me a public nuclear shit-test by posting a pic on herself sticking her ass out towards the camera, and captioned her photo:
you can only pick one;
me, or Shrek?!
I knew in my alphasigmawolfheart that I had to overcome this barrage against my masculine oakframe.
I replied to her shitty shit-test of a shitpost:
Shrek is love. Shrek is LIFE.
Suddenly, my replies were filled with a bunch of white knight gammasimps, all essentially saying the same thing:
leave her alone!
and
How dare you pick Shrek over the pretty lady! What's wrong with you!
and
lol found the incel
I seethed in my stoic alphaftame as I sigma'd my oakness.
Suddenly, a warmth was beside me.
'ey, laddie, let's show this bitch and all her simps a thing or two!
He set up my webcam, and then using his strong ogre hands, placed me on my hands and knees.
I arched my back.
I was ready.
He penetrated my butthole with his massive eshrektion. I yelled out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, as the ogrelord said to the camera:
ogresex can't be beat, bitch! Take your filters and shove 'em up your cunt!
My inbox flooded with notifications. He was livestreaming what I had thought was an intimate moment!
Shrek! How could you!
I beseeched of him.
He answered with a mighty roar, filling my rectum with his fuck chowder.
The blast launched me across the room, as he swung his massive eshrektion all about like a firehose, coating me, my bed, and my walls with ogre jizz.
He cut the stream off, and said
ye'll feel better tomorrow, laddie
...as he tossed some money onto my nightstand.
I lay there covered in his onion-scented love juice, pondering how my life reached this point, how I allowed myself to be so used and discarded, how I could recover with my IG model prospect, and how I could clean up the mess before my wife got home.
@Typo-MAGAshiv Typo - I gave you a star for this post, but can you please stop spreading feminist disinformation about divorce?
It's NOT 50% of your stuff that you loose in a divorce - its more likely going to be about 400% of your stuff. Do some research. You'll lose about 80% of your net worth at the point of separation, but you need to compute the net present value of the negative income stream that is 'support / maintenance'.
The more men believe that they only lose 50% in a divorce, the more men are going to get divorce raped. Misinformation like this is not helping.
PS. maybe its not as bad in the USA, but over here in the UK we are more 'advanced'.
@Typo-MAGAshiv we all know about you and Donkey.
Just be more open about it. THere is nothing wrong with a lil' donkey love in the swamp. Fiona need never know. What happens in the swamp, stays in the swamp.
the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted
This is one of those statements that gets chiseled into your tombstone or written into your obituary